CrabDiving Radio Podcast

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Did Don Jr. coke it up at Elon’s latest SpaceX fail? Barely human and personality free GOP troll doll Speaker Johnson spitefully enacted a transphobic bathroom ban at The Capitol. Russian thugs redrew their nuclear red lines because everything is fine. A Swiss church hired an AI Jesus. Caterwauler for Trump and Hardees patron Mike Lindell wants to be in charge of all U.S. elections. The VP elect, who scrawled out that book which made a horrific movie, posted an X and then un-posted due to numerous self-owns. A wee town on the Italian isle of Sardinia have offered refuge for Americans who hate Trump. Republican word maker Nikki Haley took figurative shots at her former boss, former competitor, President Rape Face for nominating Putin lackey Tulsi Gabbard for DNI. During a FEMA hearing, Rep. Jared Moskowitz (D-FL) slammed colleague Marjorie Taylor Greene (Nazi-GA) for shamelessly validating the dumbest conspiracy theories.

The Mars-a-Lago guest list has been consistently filled by the worst of “Bond villains, but enough about turncoat bootlicker MSNBC host Joe Scarborough. The SCOTUS did something good in Alaska. President Elect Shitler’s advisers butted Nazi-heads over cabinet appointments. President Biden, you know the guy the media trashed instead of paying attention to Rape Baby Hitler, gave Ukraine the go ahead to use long range weapons against Russia. Two women told a House ethics panel the Republican gentleman from Florida’s First District, Matt Gaetz paid them via Venmo for “party favors” and sex. Note, sometimes the payments came through Matt’s almost-son Nestor. Puritan Sith Lord Joel Webbon blathered to Christians if you aren’t being called a Nazi by the left, you aren’t trying hard enough or some drivel to that effect. Elmo, AKA Elon, is the biggest spreader of fake news according Grok. Ai-Da Robo, C3P0 knock-off, puked out a media creation and passed it off as art for a million. A two-time winner of shark attack bingo can’t wait to surf again. 

RFK Jr. hopped into Trump’s cabinet evil clown car.  The Kennedy with the calcified worm is in brain, RFK Jr., was dubbed Health and Human Service Sectary by orange rapist POTUS. The ethics hearing about Matt Gaetz’s pedophilia and sex trafficking of minors was postponed in light of his resignation from the House and nomination for AG. A conservative lawyer slammed the nomination of Gaetz to the highest law enforcement office. The morally and financially bankrupted Sandy Hook Truther Alex Jones is “upsetty-pants” because the Onion bought all his IP and audio gear in an auction. Mini god botherer Kenneth Copeland blathered a special punishment awaits those who didn’t vote. A Christian Nationalist caterwauled America enslaved herself to the “terrible bondage of orgasms without consequences.” Tech bros are way into the furry movement. The Crabs reviewed top boy bands throughout history. Jesus freak Joel Webbon said people who cross the border illegally should be shot because what would Jesus do?

Trump plots the destruction of America with totally insane cabinet picks. The Representative from Florida’s First District, who surely has the most DUIs in Congress and was facing an ethics probe for child-sex-trafficking, is Shitler’s pic for AG. Weekend, second string host FOX News dufus Pete Hegseth was tapped by Man-baby for Secretary of Defense. A former FOXbot fumed over Hegseth’s potential ascension to the White House cabinet. The orange stain might have issues wrangling purple Repubs in the House, but don’t hold your breath. Notre Dame, the Cathedral, was finally rebuilt.  A House Democrat introduced a resolution to limit Dear Leader to only two terms as POTUS. Walrus-like InfoWars front man Alex Jones handed over audio gear and his studio to the government for a bankruptcy auction to pay his debt to the Sandy Hook parents. Facebook Czar Mark Zuckerberg, who happens to be a black belt in something and is an avid surfer, owns a super yacht that burned 400,000 liters of fuel during a 12 day journey where the Zuck wasn’t on board. We are all in this together. 🙂 

Russia congratulated Trump by airing Melania’s nude pics on TV. Shitler wants recess appointments or else. Parts of Amsterdam was set on fire by anti-Semitic thugs. A German politician resigned after posting a pick of a sex doll decorated with Nazi symbolism, a production of The Diary of Anne Frank was harassed by Nazis in Michigan and a kosher deli was also terrorized by Nazis in DC. Fewer and fewer Christians have been showing up to vote. MAGAT counties in Illinois and Texas want to secede. Trumpkin Senator Ted Cruz’s daughter hates Trump and maybe Dad. Right wing comedians Theo Von and Joe Rogan discussed how Jewish people “run the media.” Hate elf Nick Fuentes maced someone standing outside his door and the cops didn’t do anything.

As the world girds its loins in anticipation of a second trump flare up, the Crabs played some of their show from the day after the 2016 election, and it is basically the same. We are still waiting to see if the Democrats can at least take the House, but it doesn’t look good. John Fetterman called Green party voters “dips**ts.” The Dems managed to hold the Pennsylvania House. The consensus among many pundits is that the Democrats shouldn’t have paraded Liz Cheney and the like around as allies. Uber-Catholic Chile has its own growing version of The Satanic Temple.

One of the worst humans among us will be President again. Malcolm Nance, best selling author and US intel legend, offered advice for those traumatized by the election of the big fat orange stain upon humanity. Shitler, President Elect and sexual abuser, is above the law and won’t face justice for his numerous crimes,which include insurrection. A newspaper headline nailed it with their one word headline regarding the reelection of Diaper Don. Special Counsel Jack Smith pretty much quit. The return of the tiny-handed man-baby doomed women’s reproductive rights. Oligarch Jeff Bezos gave subscribers even more reason to drop his rag, the WAPO, with his boot-licking congrats to the Rapist-in-Chief elect. The twice impeached blob of bronzer will be consumed with his enemies list once he moves back to Pennsylvania Avenue. The least of the Kennedys, RFK, will be in charge of vaccines and other crap like the FDA.  Evangelical Trump-sucker Shane Vaugh blathered the clay-faced felon was chosen by god to prevent Nephilim from starting a third world war.

Trump’s campaign makes Game of Thrones look like the Teletubbies. No one in the Trump horde likes Lewandowski, Conway or anyone who is not themselves. Famed political expert Jon Ralston made a surprising prediction about the 2024 election. The opposite of good and lover of authoritarians Elon Musk can continue his shameless big money giveaway to supporters per a judge. The worst person to ever don Nazi colored khakis Tucker Carlson tied hurricanes to abortion. Shitler wants fake sheriff and former GOP senatorial candidate Herschel Walker to be in charge of a cage of missiles which will surround the country. A piggy in blue blamed a recent social media post, where he pledged to never come to the aid of liberals, on sleep enhancement meds. King Charles cut off diddler Prince Andrew’s royal allowance. Dick Tracy bad guy Roger Stone dissed 911 truther and Trumpkin Laura Loomer for being an amateur. There’s a storm in the gulf that probably won’t disturb the CrabDiving Podcast.

Tucker Carlson hedges his bets by going full “attacked by a demon.” Creepy RFK Jr. would be in charge of vaccines and women’s health according to the drivel spewed by Shitler at a campaign rally. The Former Guy also shared a fap-fantasy about Liz Cheney having nine gus aiming at her head. Trump’s nasty spawn, Eric and Don, dressed up as garbage in honor of Biden’s accurate description of man-baby’s inner circle. Adulterer and FOX human-cosplayer Jesse Watters said women secretly pulling the lever for Harris are violating the “sanctity” of marriage. Absolutely nobody is surprised Elon Musk’s election canvassing operation is a crap show and very slave labor-esque. A Florida Trump enthusiast was arrested for waving a machete in the air to scare a couple of old ladies that had pro-Kamala Harris signs. Russia is cranking out fake videos to smear the Democrats. And lots more!