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Wannabe dictator Trump is basically saying “Let them eat cake” as tariffs rip our economy a new one! Russian State T.V. celebrated Shitler ruining the trust the world had in U.S. economy. The security detail for Secretary of State Rubio brawled in Brussels. Man-baby wants a big military parade on his birthday and surely the second string former FOX morning news host, our current Sec Def, will oblige. The oligarchs of the U.S. will ultimately regret selling us out. The Hands-off protests took place all over America including the Crab’s hometown, Pensacola. The Dodgers, the current MLB champs, kissed the ring of Shitler at the White House while the orange fascist mumbled mouth garbage. Yet another right wing, Repub was indicted on child sexual abuse charges. A judge appointed by the POTUS most famous for working with an actual primate, waddled over to the correct side of history. Maybe the judge’s orders will be followed by the Trump Administration, but most likely not!

Trump is destroying the world economy, with global markets diving because of his ridiculous tariffs. Even mega-turd Ben Shapiro said the tariffs are probably unconstitutional and based on backward logic regarding trade deficits. AOC trounces Chuck Schumer in a new poll about a possible primary matchup. Looks like the the felon-in-chief is listening to loony Laura Loomer again. Trump is losing support of the libertarians due to his insane warmongering and attacks on free speech. Babbling conspiracy theorist Russell Brand caught some UK sexual assault charges from four different victims. Among today’s “Not A Migrant Or Drag Queen” sex criminals were a charged South Carolina pastor and a sentenced former North Dakota Republican state senator.

Elon failed to buy Wisconsin and we know how Trump feels about losers. Shitler announced a wave of upcoming tariffs, which hurt Americans bigly. Under the guise of taking time off to help his dying electric car company Tesla, Elmo was essentially fired from DOGE. Man-baby blathered something about cheating but had to eat his word after the win for good in Wisconsin. Blotch Nazi Bannon blathered over calls for Trump’s impeachment after the loss in Wisconsin. Right wing comic Joe Rogan cried about being labeled conservative. Boebert E. Lee, who, per her gig at the Whitehouse, is investigating the Kennedy assassination, got Roger and Oliver Stone mixed up. The courts in Alabama said their A.G. can’t persecute or prosecute women fleeing the authoritarian state for abortions. Anti-Semitic loser and vapid right wing podcaster Stew Peters who said scientists who developed vaccines should be rounded up, called for a “final solution.”

Check out CrabDiving radio podcast Friday!

Trump’s morons included a journalist in a chat about secret attack plans where the worst VP tossed shade at the worst POTUS.  Fascist AG Pam Bondi ordered Jasmine Rep Crockett to be nice to Elmo. AOC and Bernie have been ticking off the Tesla Czar. Man-baby blathered complaints about his portrait in Colorado. Oligarch of commerce Howard Lutnick caterwauled only fraudsters would miss social security checks. Thug Duterte appeared before the Hague and will probably rot there. 23 and Me will be sold at a discount to the CEO who tanked it. A Canadian resisted U.S. tariffs with a song.

Trump’s monstrous ICE thugs are committing crimes against humanity. Apartheid Elmo was almost briefed on secret China war plans. Shitler received low marks for his crappy economy. A loser GOP Rep was righteously booed for defending DOGE orcs. Senator Bernie Sanders criticized the sloth-like POTUS for suing the media. A radio star across the pond ripped human cosplayer J.D. Vance for referring to the UK as a “random country that hasn’t fought a war in 30 or 40 years.” Democratic Governor Pritzker said the orange one traded lifesaving equipment during the pandemic for praise during TV interviews. The wife of Governor Pudding Fingers announced a run for the governorship of Florida but she won’t be endorsed by Trump. AOC and Bernie headlined an event against oligarchy. The Crabs reviewed the lessons from Thomas Paine’s Common Sense.