America’s latest mass freak-out is flying in on drones and ninnies like Roseanne Barr screaming, “Project Blue Beam!” There was school shooting in America because our lawmakers value gun rights over kids. Don Jr. blathered niceties about his ex Kimberly Guilfoyle as she waddles off to Greece. The CEO of Canada, Justin Trudeau, could resign as his liberal government collapses. Shitler played dumb with the media about his auto-tuned demon daughter-in-law replacing Little Marco in the Senate. For reasons unknown, Trump tapped a Democratic lawmaker from Florida to lead FEMA. Trump’s AG nominee, Pam Bondi convinced Tooty Rudy Giuliani to join her in challenging the 2020 election results. There won’t be a Tik Tok ban probably. The Crabs mused over the entertainment line-up for the inaugural rave. Taylor Swift and Coldplay made the most touring in 2024.