Crafting Solutions to Conflict

Dr. Mitch Abrams joins me to talk about his book, I’m Not F*cking Angry!: adjust the flame to get what you want and need.  We discuss the distinction between anger and aggression, and our perceptions of aggression vs. assertiveness.  Plus, some helpful insights about apologies: as the person offering one and as the person on the receiving end. 

You can learn more about his work and contact him through his website: https://drmitchabrams.com/

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ 

Three brief episodes from me. It’s just a coincidence that they published three in a row in the summer.

First, Episode 345, published on July 30, 2025, “Conversations, chats, discussions….” 4:23, http://bit.ly/40O1p1X.

Second, Episode 346, published on August 6, 2025, “First you make a plan”. 4:27, http://bit.ly/4fA7hlG.

Third, Episode 347, published on August 13, 2025, “… and then you get ready to pivot.” 4:13,http://bit.ly/4lyQEIr. 

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

My most recent guests, Alice Driscoll and Louise van Haarst, talked with me about their book, Smart Conflict: How to have hard conversations at work. They introduced their Five R Model: Reflection, Regulation, Readiness, Response, and Repair. 

The very words “caught off guard” set the tone. You are on defense. It’s a difficult conversation. Because you didn’t see this coming, you do not have a response prepared for this particular situation.  Alice and Louise have some sound advice: be ready with a (my phrasing) “I’m not ready” type of response. Set yourself up to be ready to take a pause and engage your mind and not just your emotions.

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ 

My most recent guests, Alice Driscoll and Louise van Haarst, talked with me about their book, Smart Conflict: How to have hard conversations at work. They introduced their Five R Model: Reflection, Regulation, Readiness, Response, and Repair. Thinking about Response. There are times when you know the likely path a difficult conversation will take.  You may know the other person well. Or you may have had a variation of this conversation before. Or both. A prepared response can prevent us from feeling tongue-tied and then resorting to silence, or unhelpful body language, or blurting out something that will make matters worse.  And the very act of preparation is helpful, too. 

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ 

Alice Driscoll and Louise van Harrst join me today. We talk about their book, Smart Conflict: How to have hard conversations at work. Our conversation is in two parts. 

Last time, in Part 1, we covered the foundation for the contents of the book and discuss and overview of the five Rs of their model. This time, in Part 2, we continue with a deeper dive into those five Rs – noting that it is possible to jump in wherever it feels right to you in the moment. You can learn more about their work at their company website:     https://www.thepowerhouse.company/

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ 

Alice Driscoll and Louise van Harrst join me today. We talk about their book, Smart Conflict: How to have hard conversations at work. Our conversation is in two parts. Today, in Part 1, we cover the foundation for the contents of the book and discuss and overview of the five Rs of their model.  And next time, in Part 2,  we continue with a deeper dive into those five Rs – noting that it is possible to jump in wherever it feels right to you in the moment.  You can learn more about their work at their company website:  https://www.thepowerhouse.company/

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ 

Way back in March 2020, I published two episodes about VUCA. VUCA V - U -C- A is an acronym describing a concept that was developed by the U. S. Army War College to describe the world after the end of the Cold War. A world that was more Volatile, V; Uncertain, U: Complex, C; and Ambiguous, A.

Peter Schein talked with me in Episode 361, published two weeks ago, about his book, Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling, which was published earlier this year.

In the book, Peter refers to VUCAA. That’s VUCA with an additional A. The second A stands for Anxiety. 

Difficult enough to deal with volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity. Anxiety affects our ability to handle every one of those.

What can we do about it all in the context of conflict?

We can start by recognizing that we come from different perspectives.

VUCAA may be our new norm.  And, we will benefit from recognizing that we won’t all experience it or deal with it the same way. And we can exercise as much grace as we can muster. 

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

My most recent guest, Peter Schein, talked with me about his book, Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling. Peter makes a distinction between Humble Inquiry and humility. The Humble Inquiry attitude does not require humility as a personality trait. Some of us do tend toward arrogance. Yet, that trait does not preclude the application of Humble Inquiry. Peter suggests thinking of Here-and-now Humility: accepting that there are times when we are dependent on each other for sharing information and achieving goals.  No one needs to undergo a complete personality makeover to embrace the art and attitude of Humble Inquiry.  But it would likely be good to move in that direction.

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

Peter Schein joins the show to  talk about his book, the third edition of Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling. Peter had previously written with his father, Edgar Schein, now deceased. We discuss the concept of humbly inquiring, instead of boldly telling, with the goal of building relationships. And we explore how Humble Inquiry is both an art and an attitude.  You can learn more about Peter’s work at the Organizational Culture and Leadership Institute here:  https://www.scheinocli.org/ . You can reach Peter at [email protected].

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

“Holding off” may seem to be the opposite of jumping in, but there are some other angles.

Holding off has a flavor of deliberate choice. I am thinking this through and reaching the conclusion that now is not the time. This is not the same as wimping out. It’s a decision based on a reasoned analysis. 

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/