Create Yourself - Practical Activities for Self-discovery, Transformation and change.

In this episode, we’re diving into the strange (but very human) habit of self-sabotage — why we do things that hurt us, even when we say we want peace, confidence, rest, or connection.

I’ll talk you through some real-life patterns and stories that might sound a little too familiar… and explore how our behaviour can be completely understandable, but still unhelpful.

We’ll look at how past fears and beliefs shape our present actions, and I’ll share a powerful coaching exercise called Spot the Loop that can help you uncover the cycle you’re stuck in — and gently start changing it.

Plus, I’ll share some simple journaling prompts to help you gain insight and shift your patterns with more compassion and less judgment.

This one’s all about awareness, kindness to yourself, and remembering: you’re not broken — you’re just human. And you can change the story.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode:

• Why we sabotage ourselves (and how hypnotherapy in Leeds can help)

• How our attempts to protect ourselves often create the opposite effect

• The common loops we get stuck in — and how to spot yours

• A journaling prompt that brings surprising clarity

• How to interrupt old patterns without shaming yourself

• The truth about why change is hard — and why it’s still possible

Journaling Prompt from this Episode:

• What helps me?

• What hurts me?

• What hinders me?

Checkout my website, Kayholdsworth.com

COUNSELLOR and HYPNOTHERAPIST

My main specialism is enabling women go from a place of feeling stuck and hopeless, to a space where they can trust themselves again and find more inner-peace and contentment.

My approach is certainly not cookie cutter therapy. I draw upon Counselling, Coaching, Hypnotherapy, Solution-Focused and CBT. Sessions often incorporate creativity, guided journaling and imagery, as well as powerful techniques such as Parts Therapy/Rewind.

For over 5 years I have worked as a Student University Counsellor. I have facilitated a variety of wellbeing courses and workshops.  Book a free consultation.  

I love helping women overcome limiting beliefs, old habits, and emotional blocks by accessing the unconscious mind and creating meaningful, lasting change.

Episode Title: The Good, The Bad, and The Downright Ugly of Therapy

Episode Description:

Have you ever had therapy? If the answer is yes, you’re not alone—me too, and not just once. I’ve had therapy at various points in my life, and let me tell you, it’s been a real mixed bag. In this episode, I’m spilling the beans on the good, the bad, and the downright ugly of my therapy experiences. Yep, it’s time for some real talk.

Kay Holdsworth – Counsellor and Psychotherapist

My main specialism is enabling women go from a place of feeling stuck and hopeless, to a space where they can trust themselves again and find more inner-peace and contentment.

My approach is certainly not cookie cutter therapy. I draw upon Counselling, Coaching, Hypnotherapy, Solution-Focused and CBT. Sessions often incorporate creativity, guided journaling and imagery, as well as powerful techniques such as Parts Therapy/Rewind.

For over 5 years I have worked as a Student University Counsellor. I have facilitated a variety of wellbeing courses and workshops.  Book a free consultation.  

Drawing upon Counselling, Coaching, Hypnotherapy, Solution-Focused Therapy, and CBT, I bring a well-rounded approach to sessions. In addition, I often incorporate creativity, guided journaling, and imagery, as well as powerful techniques such as Parts Therapy and the Rewind technique.

For over five years, I have worked as a Student University Counsellor, and along the way, I have facilitated a variety of wellbeing courses and workshops. If you’re interested, you can book a free 30-minute assessment by heading to my website.

Furthermore, I love helping women overcome limiting beliefs, old habits, and emotional blocks by accessing the unconscious mind and creating meaningful, lasting change. However, I only offer blocks of six therapy sessions, as I believe commitment is key to making real progress. Since I have limited space, I only work with clients who are fully ready to invest in their personal growth.

That’s why I’m offering a free 30-minute assessment—your opportunity to chat with me, gain clarity on what you want to change, and see if we’re a good fit.

This isn’t a formal therapy session; instead, it’s an open, relaxed conversation where we explore what’s keeping you stuck, how you want to feel, and what you’d love to be different in your life.

My main specialism is enabling women go from a place of feeling stuck and hopeless, to a space where they can trust themselves again and find more inner-peace and contentment. My approach is certainly not cookie cutter therapy.

BOOK A CALL

Visit my Website - Home | Kay Holdsworth : Create YourselfIn this episode I dive deep into the fascinating science of the brain and how it responds to stress, anxiety, and depression.

Have you ever wondered why you feel the way you do when life gets overwhelming?

In this episode, I break it all down, exploring what happens in your brain when stress takes over and how it affects your mood and behaviour.

I’ll also share practical, science-backed strategies to help improve your mental well-being and regain control of your emotional state.

Understand your brain better, so you can manage stress and anxiety with confidence and take the first step toward lasting emotional freedom.

Kay Holdsworth - Counsellor & Psychotherapist

My main specialism is enabling women go from a place of feeling stuck and hopeless, to a space where they can trust themselves again and find more inner-peace and contentment.

My approach is certainly not cookie cutter therapy.

I draw upon Counselling, Coaching, Hypnotherapy, Solution-Focused and CBT.

Sessions often incorporate creativity, guided journaling and imagery, as well as powerful techniques such as Parts Therapy/Rewind. For over 5 years I have worked as a Student University Counsellor. I have facilitated a variety of wellbeing courses and workshops.

To book a free 30 minute assessment head to my website.

I love helping women overcome limiting beliefs, old habits, and emotional blocks by accessing the unconscious mind and creating meaningful, lasting change.

I offer blocks of 6 therapy sessions only. I have limited space and only work with clients who are willing to commit to therapy.

I’m offering a free 30-minute assessment—your chance to chat with me, get clear on what you want to change, and see if we’re a good fit.

This isn’t a formal therapy session, just an open, relaxed conversation where we explore what’s keeping you stuck, how you want to feel, and what you’d love to be different in your life.

Sound good? 

VISIT MY WEBSITE at Home | Kay Holdsworth : Create Yourself

I think I have found a new love… hypnotherapy! I was lucky enough to be offered the SFTA training course free through my work as a university student counsellor. I am blown away with the progress my hypnotherapy clients have made (bar one, but she has a family crisis she is dealing with). They all began the sessions rating themselves a 4 or 5 out of 10 on a happiness scale, and now they’re all rating themselves a solid 8, except for the one I mentioned. I think that’s impressive, and I’m so pleased!

We were taught Parts Therapy, and on Wednesday, I used the technique for the first time on a student struggling to leave a coercive relationship. The idea behind Parts Therapy is that you work with different parts of a person’s mind, getting them to communicate with each other to resolve inner conflicts. There was no doubt that she was in a trance, and you could see how strong the part in the right hand was. In those short 20 minutes, we made more progress than we had potentially made in all the previous sessions, because it spoke directly to her unconscious mind.

I can really see how hypnotherapy helps people change patterns of behaviour they’ve struggled with for years because, let’s face it, most of our thoughts and behaviours are influenced by the subconscious.

3 Simple Steps to Reprogram Your Mind for Positive Change

1. Focus on What You Want, Not What You Don’t Want
The mind works best with positive images and clear intentions. Instead of thinking, “I don’t want to feel anxious,” shift your focus to what you do want: “I want to feel calm and confident.” The subconscious mind responds better to positive framing.
Try this: Write down one thing you want to change and reframe it positively. For example, instead of “I don’t want to feel stressed at work,” write, “I want to feel relaxed and focused at work.”

2. Use Visualization to Create Your Future
The mind doesn’t always distinguish between real experiences and vividly imagined ones. Spend a few minutes every day visualizing yourself living the life you want. Imagine it in detail—how you feel, what you see, and what you hear. This can help train your mind to create the reality you desire.

3. Anchor Positive Feelings in the Body
One powerful hypnotherapy technique is to anchor a positive feeling in your body. Think of a time when you felt confident, calm, or happy. Focus on that feeling and imagine it filling your entire body. As you do, gently press your thumb and forefinger together. Repeat this regularly, and you’ll train your mind and body to return to that feeling when you need it.

ABOUT ME - COUNSELLOR, COACH & PSYCHOTHERAPIST
I am an experienced and fully qualified counsellor, psychotherapist and coach based in the UK.
I work predominantly with women who want to make positive changes in their lives. Women who want to make better life choices, changes and decisions.

My specialisms are equipping women the practical tools and strategies so they can manage their own mental health and wellbeing. I have over 10 years experience working with people to help them manage their stress, anxiety, low mood and lack of motivation.
I enable women go from a place of feeling stuck and hopeless, to a space where they can trust themselves again and find more inner-peace and contentment.
Often the women I work with are women who want to make changes but are struggling to know how or where to start. They feel overwhelmed and stuck. I help them make the changes they most need and long for.
MY APPROACH
I draw upon a variety of approaches such as Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Solution Focused Approach, Writing Therapy, Guided Relaxations/Visualisations & Mindfulness. If clients feels they would benefit from exercises and techniques, such as guided relaxations and breathing exercises then I am happy to facilitate this during our sessions.
I offer appointments Thursday only.

BOOK A FREE 30 MINUTE ASSESSMENT

We all know that feeling when we’re tired, sluggish, and lacking energy.

Everybody has low days, but I’ve realised something important: we have far more control over our energy levels and mood than we often tell ourselves.

This year, I’ve had just one low day, and that’s not to brag (trust me, I’ve had my fair share of low days in the past). I bring it up because it’s a reflection of how mood follows action and how my actions are significantly shifting my mood and energy levels.

Too often, we see low mood as something solely happening in the brain, something we can’t change. But our actions can—and do—have a massive impact on how we feel.

Mood follows action.

I’ve been reminding my therapy clients of this a lot recently, particularly those who find themselves spending hours in bed scrolling through TikTok (most are Uni students).

I wonder…

If I asked you to get up and run up and down the stairs for five minutes, would it shift how you feel, even just a bit?

I bet you it would.

Why not try it now?!

For the past few months, I’ve been experimenting with weaving in short 10-minute bursts of yoga, meditation, or movement into my day, and it’s definitely made a difference to my energy levels.

As a therapist, I have to sit on my ass for long periods of time, so making the effort to move every hour and a half or two hours is making a huge difference.

There’s a caveat to this, of course. If you’re deeply depressed or anxious, it probably feels insulting for me to suggest that just doing 10 minutes of movement here and there throughout the day could make any difference.

I hear you, and you’re absolutely right. If anyone had said this to me when I was anxious, I would have wanted to smack them in the face!

But here’s what I will say: for most of us—who are not severely anxious or depressed, but have our own struggles and stresses—doing this can help lift your energy. And when your energy is better, you feel more resourceful, and that means you can cope better.

For someone who is deeply depressed, I understand this will feel like the absolute last thing you want to do. Every cell in your body will probably resist. But I have to repeat—mood follows action. It’s what therapists call “basic behavioural activation.”

The common belief is that you have to feel motivated before you can do the thing.

Honestly, that’s complete BS. By doing the thing, you create motivation. You build forward momentum, and that momentum and movement is what shifts your mood. Mood follows action is a simple truth we often forget, but it’s so effective.

Journal Prompts

• What activities make you feel energised and uplifted? How can you incorporate more of them into your day?
• What small action can you take today to boost your energy or mood, even if you’re feeling low?
• Write about a time when you felt really energised and full of life. What were you doing, and how can you recreate that experience?







WORK WITH ME

This week, I’ve been reflecting on what it really means to live a life that is a true expression of who we are. 

It’s funny, but sometimes we’re so caught up chasing goals or dreams that were never really ours to begin with. Maybe, like me, you’ve had moments where you realise that the version of success you’ve been striving for doesn’t quite fit your values, strengths, or what’s truly important to you.

I’ve been asking myself: is building an online business really the best path for someone like me who loves being around people and values real human connection? Have I been trying to shape my life around an idea of success that’s been influenced by societal norms and expectations – not what I truly need?

When I first got into the world of self-help and personal development in the early 2000s, it was full of books by people who said you had to want millions to be successful. There was so much emphasis on making money, reaching lofty goals, and becoming rich and successful beyond belief. 

But let’s be honest – that isn’t what everyone truly wants.

Success is personal. 

My idea of success is living in a semi-rural stone property, with long distance views and waking up to fresh eggs everyday from my chickens.  It's about having the time and space to enjoy my life and be able to go for walks, journal and do yoga.  I am not hustling my ass off, I work 20 hours a week, running self-development workshops and therapy/coaching sessions.

It’s easy to get caught up in expectations that leave us feeling unfulfilled when we don’t meet them. Tony Robbins once said something about how our level of happiness is tied to our expectations. If those expectations are too high, we can end up feeling constantly discontent.

Here I am in 2025, and I haven’t built a six- or seven-figure business or had a best selling book, or created a huge on-line platform.  

But when I get really honest with myself – did I really want that? Or did I think I had to want it because of what I’d been told and had been telling myself?

Sometimes, the gold we seek is already in our own backyard. 

Perhaps the things we’re searching for have been right in front of us all along.

I’m a university counsellor, and I love my job. I’m also training to be a solution-focused hypnotherapist, and that feels like such a good fit for me. 

What if I stopped trying to chase after something shiny and new and just focused on what I already do well – and made that my focus?

I think this is a lesson that could apply to you too. 

It’s so easy to get swept away by societal pressures or other people’s definitions of success. But what if you took a moment to step back and ask yourself: 

What does success really look like for me? 

What am I doing already that is enough?

So, here’s something I’d like you to reflect on this week. 

Think about the ways in which you might be chasing after something that isn’t truly aligned with who you are or what you really want.

Here are three journal prompts to get you thinking:

1. What does success look like for me, based on my own values and strengths?
2. In what ways have I been influenced by societal expectations or old stories about what I “should” want?
3. What am I already doing that brings me fulfillment, and how can I focus more on that?

Coaching Tool: Shifting Expectations

Take some time this week to examine your expectations. If you feel discontent or like you’re falling short, ask yourself – are my expectations realistic and aligned with who I truly am and what I need?

Write down any expectations you feel are weighing on you and then cross out the ones that don’t serve you. Instead, replace them with more grounded, authentic expectations that reflect your real desires and values.

Check out my latest blog post,

5 Simple Ways to Make Change Happen | Kay Holdsworth : Create Yourself

Join the FREE 21 Day Writing for Self-Discovery Challenge - Reconnect with your true self

21-Day Journaling Challenge | Kay Holdsworth : Create Yourself

What’s the Payoff for Staying Stuck?
The Real Reason You’re Resisting Change (and What to Do About It)

In this episode I talk about the payoff for being stuck. On the surface it sounds silly to think that there could be any reason we would want to stay stuck....but when you dig a bit deeper, there will be a reason you are resisting change.

There was a time when I found myself struggling to take the steps needed to make my dreams happen. I kept circling back to the same stuck place—never really pushing forward, even though I knew what I wanted deep down. On an unconscious level, I realized it wasn’t a fear of failure holding me back. It was the fear of success. Success felt heavy, like it would demand too much of me. What if it came with responsibilities I couldn’t manage? What if I felt trapped, overwhelmed, or even suffocated by it?

Sound familiar?

It’s easier to stay where we are, isn’t it? Even when it makes us miserable. There’s a comfort in not moving, in remaining within the familiar, because change, even the good kind, is hard. We’re creatures of habit, and staying within our comfort zones keeps us feeling safe, protected. But what if that safety is exactly what’s keeping us from growing?

At some level, staying stuck serves us. There’s always a payoff for not taking action, whether we realize it or not. Here are some possible reasons you might be holding back:

• Avoiding the unknown: “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.” The familiarity of where you are, even if it’s not where you want to be, feels safer than stepping into uncharted territory.
• Fear of change: Change is uncomfortable. It’s challenging. It demands something from us—energy, effort, vulnerability. Even when we know it’s good for us, we resist it.
• Fear of success: Success might come with its own set of challenges—responsibility, expectations, or the fear of losing freedom. What if it’s too much to handle? What if it changes everything and leaves us feeling overwhelmed?
• Comfort in habits: We’ve evolved to seek safety and protection. Our routines, however limiting they might be, provide us with comfort. Change disrupts that security.

Hi there, I’m Kay, a Therapist and Coach, author and podcaster. I help women get unstuck, get clear on what they want and create meaningful lasting change.




Come and join me on the Last Sunday of the month for MAKE IT HAPPEN 7pm UK time.

Get intentional and clear on what you want to create and do this coming month.

In this one hour guided check-in you will:
 Reflect on the past month - what you got up to, what you want to celebrate and the challenges you are proud of dealing with
 

Get clear on what you want to make happen next month - from the goals you want to focus on, to the simple pleasures you want to fill your days with


Create a simple action plan and schedule things into your calendar to make sure you fill this month with the things you want to do.

Last Sunday of the Month

• A notebook or journal and pen

• Your calendar

To join head to Kayholdsworth.com

Hey everyone! So, I’m actually sitting in my car right now, waiting for my son to finish football training. It’s half-term, so I thought I’d take this time to chat with you and share something I’m really excited about. I’m launching Make It Happen Monthly! This is a chance for us to get clear on what we want to create, do, and experience in the coming month.

It’s the end of February, and I know how it is—those New Year’s intentions? Yeah, they can easily slip away. But don’t worry, that’s exactly what Make It Happen Monthly is here for.

It’s a free workshop happening on the last Sunday of every month, and the goal is simple: help you gain clarity on what you need to focus on and turn those ideas into reality for the rest of the year.

In the workshop, we’ll cover some really powerful questions. I’ll walk you a taster of what to expect.

• What’s been good? This question is about reflecting on the positive. We’re often so focused on what’s next, we forget to acknowledge what’s gone well so far. So, we’ll take a moment to look back and see where we’ve made progress—because that momentum matters.

• Scaling questions—This is where I’ll ask you to rate how close you are to making your plans and dreams happen on a scale from 0 to 10.

  The idea here is to reflect on where you are right now, and then think about what it would take to move just one step closer to where you want to be. Small steps, big impact.

• The Miracle Question— I get you to imagine what you would be doing differently if you moved 1 up the scale, for instance, I am a 7, so I talk about what I need to be doing to move from a 7 to an 8.

  This helps you get really clear on what you’re aiming for, so you can start working toward it.

Make it Happen - Why now, you ask?

Well, we’re at that point in the year where those New Year’s intentions can feel distant or maybe even forgotten.

Make It Happen Monthly is all about checking in with yourself, making sure you’re still aligned with what you really want, and giving yourself the space to make it happen.

So, join me! Make It Happen Monthly is completely free, and it’s happening on the last Sunday of every month 7pm on Zoom. You’ll get the chance to connect with other women, reflect on your progress, and set some clear intentions for the month ahead.

To save your space head to my website, kayholdsworth.com

How to Make Yourself Proud in 2025

In this episode, I reflect on what it truly means to make yourself proud in 2025.

We all set goals and make plans, but how many of us actually follow through?

This episode explores the importance of commitment, the power of taking action, and how you can honour your goals and make yourself proud by the end of the year.

I was going to share practical tips, journaling prompts, and my favourite quote on commitment but forgot.

I have shared it below.

Key Points Covered:

• Reflecting on the Year Ahead:
  What does making yourself proud in 2025 look like? I talk about the importance of setting clear intentions and following through on what you say you’re going to do. Imagine the sense of pride and fulfilment you’ll feel at the end of the year, knowing you’ve honoured your commitments.

• The Power of Commitment:
  I share one of my favourite quotes by William Hutchison Murray on the magic of commitment:
  “Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness... Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”

  
  

• Tips for Staying Committed and Making Progress:
  I provide practical tips to help you follow through on your goals, including:

  • Getting clear on your “why.”
  • Breaking big goals into smaller steps.
  • Embracing discomfort and pushing through resistance.
  • Celebrating small wins to build momentum.
  • Visualising your success.

• Journaling Prompts to Get You Started:
  I offer a journaling exercise designed to help you reflect on your goals and take action:

  1. What would make you proud in 12 months’ time?
  2. What have you said you want to do but haven’t yet done?
  3. Why is this goal important to you?
  4. How will you feel when you accomplish it?

MAKE IT HAPPEN FREE MONTHLY WORKSHOP – Take Action on What Matters

Are you tired of watching your ideas, dreams, and projectsgather dust while another month slips by?

Ready to get crystal clear on what truly matters and makereal progress on your goals?

🎯 This workshop is for you. 🎯

Join a community of like-minded women for an empowering hourof reflection, intention-setting, and action-taking—designed to help you movefrom feeling stuck to making real, positive, forward momentum.

In this one-hour session, we will: 

💡 Imagine starting thenext month with unstoppable momentum, feeling focused, energised, and incontrol of your progress.

What You’ll Get:

It’s Free, It’s Powerful, and It’s for You.
Join us every month on the last Sunday at 7pm via Zoom!

📅 Next Session: Last Sunday of the month
Yes, I’m Ready to Make it Happen!

Welcome to this week's episode! Today, we're diving deep into something I know all too well—feeling stuck. If you’ve ever found yourself spinning in circles, with dreams and ideas that never seem to go anywhere, then this episode is for you. I’ve been there too, for more years than I care to admit, but trust me when I say, you can break free. Let’s talk about how.

Segment 1: My Story of Stucksville (3-5 mins)
I start by sharing my own experience of being stuck—how I felt like I was living in "Stucksville" for at least 15 years. I had all these dreams and plans but couldn't figure out how to make them happen. It felt like I was just going around in circles, and the frustration was real. I want to let you know that if you’re feeling the same, you're not alone.

Segment 2: Recognize the Root Cause of Feeling Stuck (5 mins)
We often feel stuck because something deeper is going on—fear, overwhelm, or maybe just too much on our plate. Take a moment to ask yourself, “What’s really holding me back?” It could be fear of failure, a lack of clarity, or even that dreaded feeling of being completely overwhelmed by your to-do list.
Journal Prompt: “What is one specific area in my life where I feel stuck? What thoughts or emotions are contributing to this feeling?”

Segment 3: Shift from Overthinking to Action (5 mins)
Overthinking is the enemy of action! Trust me, I’ve been caught in this trap too many times. The key is to stop analysing every possible outcome and start with just one small step.
Action Step: Choose one small thing you can do today. It doesn’t have to be huge—maybe just a 5-minute task—but it will create momentum.
Journal Prompt: “What is one small step I can take today to make progress in an area where I feel stuck?”

Segment 4: Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs (5 mins)
Let’s talk about those sneaky limiting beliefs. You know, the ones that whisper, “I’m not good enough,” or “I’ll never be able to do this.” They’re powerful, but they’re also lies. Challenge them!
Journal Prompt: “What are the beliefs I hold about myself that are keeping me stuck? How can I reframe these beliefs into something empowering?”

Segment 5: Embrace Imperfect Action
Perfectionism is a dream killer. The truth is, things will never be perfect, and that’s okay.
Journal Prompt: “What is one thing I’ve been putting off because it doesn’t feel perfect? How can I take a step towards it, even if it’s not perfect?”

Segment 6: Reconnect with Your “Why”
Why did you start this journey in the first place? Whether it’s a personal or professional goal, reconnecting with your deeper “why” can reignite that fire within you.
Journal Prompt: “Why is achieving this goal important to me? How will my life change once I break free from being stuck?”

Segment 7: Set Boundaries and Eliminate Distractions (3 mins)
Sometimes, we feel stuck because we’re too busy doing things that don’t actually matter to us.

Journal Prompt: “What distractions are keeping me from making progress? What boundaries can I set to protect my time and energy?”

Segment 8: Celebrate Small Wins (2 mins)
It’s so easy to overlook the small wins when we’re focused on the bigger picture. But every step forward, no matter how small, is worth celebrating.
Journal Prompt: “What small win can I celebrate today? How does acknowledging this win make me feel more empowered to keep going?”

Segment 9: Visualization
Journal Prompt: “What does my future self look like after I’ve broken free from feeling stuck?

Getting unstuck doesn’t happen overnight, but taking these small, intentional steps will create momentum. If I can do it after 15 years in Stucksville, so can you. Remember, it's all about progress, not perfection. Keep going—you’ve got this!

Sign up for my FREE MAKE IT HAPPEN MONTHLY WORKSHOP

Get clarity on your intention for the coming month... and make your dreams, plans and ideas a reality.