Curious Fox

This week Effy Blue and Jacqueline Misla are curious about colorism, featurism, and texturism and they are joined by Dr. Donna to chat about:

• What are colorism, texturism, and featurism? Where does it come from? How does it show up day today?
• How does it impact sexual self-esteem?
• How does this impact relationships between people of color?
• What can we do now that we know this?

To guide us in our exploration, our guest this week is Dr. Donna Oriowo:
Dr. Donna Oriowo (oreo-whoa!) LICSW, CST, is international speaker and certified sex and relationship therapist in the Washington D.C. metro area. The owner of AnnodRight, Dr. Donna specializes in working with Black women on issues related to colorism and texturism and its impacts on mental and sexual health. She is the author of Cocoa Butter & Hair Grease: A Self Love Journey Through Hair and Skin. Dr. Donna is an advocate for sexual freedom, self-love, acceptance, and accomplishment for WoC, especially Black women. She collects inspiring quotes, eats donuts, loves pasta, & stays home--cuz COVID aka Rona. 

Dr. Oriowo currently serves as co-chair of the Diversity, Equity, Inclusion committee with AASECT, Communications Steering Committee Chair, too. She can be found on Facebook and Instagram @Annodright. OR you can visit her on the interwebs at TheCBHG.com or AnnodRight.com

Resources Dr. Oriowo mentioned:
IG accounts:
@darkest.hue
@colorismhealing
@yabablay

Books:
Hair Story - Ayana D. Byrd and Lori L. Tharps
Cocoa Butter and Hair Grease - Dr. Donna Oriowo   
Hair Matters - Ingrid Banks
Tenderheaded - Pamela Johnson and Juliette Harris
One Drop: Shifting the Lens on Race - Yaba Blay

Documentary - Dark Girls
Movie - Spike Lee school daze

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Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxes
Effy Blue @coacheffyblue
Jacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla

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Join the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

This week Effy Blue and Jacqueline Misla are curious about couple privilege and hierarchical relationships: 

• What is couple privilege?
• How does it differ from hierarchy in relationships? 
• How does it affect relationships?
• How can we design our relationships with privilege and hierarchy in mind? 

Support the show

Connect with us on IG and more:
Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxes
Effy Blue @coacheffyblue
Jacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla

Email us or send a voice memo: [email protected]
Join the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

This week Effy and Jacqueline are curious about the purpose of jealousy: 

• What is jealousy? How do you characterize it?
• What are the evolutionary roots of jealousy? And what purpose does it serve in the emotional portfolio of the human species? 
• What are the distinctions between the biological sexes and jealousy, based on existing research?

We are challenging the status quo that jealousy is bad and something that non-monogamous people should not feel. 

To guide us in our exploration, our guest this week is Prof David Buss:
David Buss is a Professor of Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. Buss previously taught at Harvard University and the University of Michigan. He is considered the world’s leading scientific expert on strategies of human mating and one of the founders of the field of evolutionary psychology. 

His books include The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating; Evolutionary Psychology:  The New Science of the Mind; The Dangerous Passion:  Why Jealousy is as Necessary as Love and Sex; The Murderer Next Door:  Why the Mind is Designed to Kill; and Why Women Have Sex (with Cindy Meston). 

His new book: When Men Behave Badly: The Hidden Roots of Sexual Deception, Harassment, and Assault (2021) uncovers the evolutionary roots of conflict between the sexes. Buss has more than 300 scientific publications. In 2019, he was cited as one of the 50 most influential living psychologists in the world.

To find more about Prof David Buss,  go to her website  or follow him on Twitter  @ProfDavidBuss

Support the show

Connect with us on IG and more:
Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxes
Effy Blue @coacheffyblue
Jacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla

Email us or send a voice memo: [email protected]
Join the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

This week Effy and Jacqueline are curious about friendships and jealousy: 

• What defines a friendship? What distinguishes a friendship over other relationships? 
• Are female friendships different from male friendships? 
• Is friendship jealousy different from romantic jealousy? 

We want to challenge the status quo that romantic relationships are more important than friendships and female friendships are ultimately about rivalry and threat.

To guide us in our exploration, our guest this week is Dr. Jaimie Arona Krems:

Dr. Jaimie Arona Krems is a social psychologist who uses interdisciplinary theories--from evolutionary biology, animal behavior, behavioral ecology--to explore friendship, those often-understudied friendly and competitive interactions among women, and the stereotypes and prejudices that shape people's social landscapes. She received her Ph.D. from Arizona State University, M.Sc. from the University of Oxford, M.L.A. from the University of Pennsylvania, and her A.B. in Classical and Near Eastern Archaeology from Bryn Mawr College.

To find more about Dr. Jaimie Arona Krems,  go to her website (www.kremslab.com) or follow her on @JaimieKrems

Support the show

Connect with us on IG and more:
Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxes
Effy Blue @coacheffyblue
Jacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla

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Join the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

What happens when a traditional ceremony like a wedding honors the queerest of relationships? What are some other ways to celebrate a relationship(s)? What is it like to celebrate a break-up?

In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline hang out with queer wedding planner Ambyr D'Amato to challenge the status quo that 

• Weddings are the only types of relationship ceremonies 
• Only traditional relationships have and deserve to celebrate with a ceremony 
• We should only celebrate when we merge into a relationship 

This week's guest Ambyr D'Amato: 

Hi, I’m Ambyr. I’m a wedding planner. My mission is to help create a meaningful time for you on your special day and throughout your wedding planning process. 

What would it feel like to breathe or meditate a little before working on your wedding budget? How can we create a positive experience for you, your family, and all of your guests? What would it feel like to be taken care of, listened to, and coached every step of the way? 

I want the weddings I do to be inclusive and joyful. I welcome all types of couples especially LGBTQ+, multi-relationship, and multicultural families. I am a queer, intersectional feminist woman. My family is Catholic, Muslim, and Hindu, so in whatever way love has brought you together, I’m sure it’s something I can get on board with.  

To find more about Ambyr D'Amato,  go to her website www.weddingsbyambyr.com or follow her on IG @weddingsbyambyr 

Support the show

Connect with us on IG and more:
Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxes
Effy Blue @coacheffyblue
Jacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla

Email us or send a voice memo: [email protected]
Join the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

Is magic and witchcraft for fairy tales? Can magic, witchcraft, and rituals be a way to connect with our bodies and tap into our intuition? Can tarot be used to help us get clarity on the choices we have and the decision we have to make?

Effy and Jacqueline hang out with Pleasure Witch Haylin Belay to talk about how magic and tarot can provide a framework for us to get in touch with what we know intuitively.

To find more about Haylin Belay, go to his website www.haylin.co or follow her on Instagram @haylin.co.

Curious Fox listeners can enter code CURIOUS at checkout for 15% off a 30-minute Tarot reading.

Support the show

Connect with us on IG and more:
Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxes
Effy Blue @coacheffyblue
Jacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla

Email us or send a voice memo: [email protected]
Join the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

How can a couple in an open relationship deal with a new crush or new relationship energy? 
How can someone deal with the shame/guilt of exploring a non-traditional relationship or sexual path?
How can you figure out if someone is a good match for a kink experience?
How to make addressing fears fun?
How can I tell my child that I/ we are opening up our relationship? 

Effy and Jacqueline kick off the year by answering questions from our foxy listeners. 

Support the show

Connect with us on IG and more:
Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxes
Effy Blue @coacheffyblue
Jacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla

Email us or send a voice memo: [email protected]
Join the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

Effy, Jacqueline, and the Foxy team are taking a break for the holidays. Listen for their holiday wishes and some recommendations on what to listen to while they are away.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL.

Support the show

Connect with us on IG and more:
Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxes
Effy Blue @coacheffyblue
Jacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla

Email us or send a voice memo: [email protected]
Join the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

How much does evolutionary wiring impact the types of relationships we seek? Does it really come down to nature vs nurture? How much of whom we are attracted to impacted by our ancestors? Is there such a thing as free will?

Effy and Jacqueline get nerdy with evolutionary psychologist Dr. Adar Eisenbruch - whose research centers around cooperation, friendship, and behavioral endocrinology - to talk about how much of our relational choices are contemporary and how much is written deep into our source code over millions of years ago.

To find more about Dr. Adar Eisenbruch, go to his website adareisenbruch.com. 

Support the show

Connect with us on IG and more:
Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxes
Effy Blue @coacheffyblue
Jacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla

Email us or send a voice memo: [email protected]
Join the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

What does it mean to put effort into relationships? Does one person always show up more than the other? Is relationship maths is as simple as 50+50 makes 100%? 

Effy and Jacqueline sit down to work out what is the right maths when it comes to the division of effort that goes into a relationship while comparing parental relationship dynamics to adult romantic relationship dynamics.  Not all relationships are created equal. 

Support the show

Connect with us on IG and more:
Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxes
Effy Blue @coacheffyblue
Jacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla

Email us or send a voice memo: [email protected]
Join the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes