This week, decoy carver and ice spearing zealot Ryan Ebert almost experiences death by sturgeon, we catch giant pike with golf balls and horror movie memorabilia, piss mom off by leaving walleyes in the sink, and forget our anchor while pursuing deep beasts.

This week, author, musician, and conservationist Riverhorse Nakadate sells us sausage and fights shark finning, we carp fish with the alley cat of Kunkeltown, fall in love with Brandy the bass ringer, and get lost in the wilderness right behind the AutoZone.

This week, Captain Zach “Hammer” Miller hunts muskies in a patriotic homeless camp, we score wild browns despite a lack of cozy sweaters, open the door to the cold truths about fatherhood, and threaten a Facebook cheapskate with serious power tools.

This week, guide and competition fly angler Anita Coulton prays for more paper towels in Brown Town, we lose our balance Euro nymphing on one leg, smoke the devil’s lettuce in front of a conservation officer, and huff diesel fumes until we can’t feel our fingers.

Learn how to fish through the distraction of 20 naked models clogging up your favorite beach

This week, hardcore kayak angler Kevin Hughes mutes his boss so he can battle a trophy permit, we chase pike during the worst conditions and prove muskie guys don’t know everything, pass on a bomb striper bite to (possibly) surf to our icy doom, and explain the benefits of tiny toilets.

This week, C&R listener Clay Parmley takes us on a trek across Northern Europe where dream girls abound and nobody else fishes, we decide snake venom is better than fermented char, teach you how to strip set with lip-ripping force, and camp on your mom’s lawn with no legal ramifications.

This week, full-time Bigfoot researcher Mike Familant takes us on a psychological expedition from dark woods to mall parking lots, we hide our campsite from pirates so well we can’t even find it, solve the mystery of the bass-slaying serial killer, and confirm that doe urine is not the same as bug spray.

This week, Captain Eric Kerber and Captain Greg Dubrule enjoy a 110-degree party boat blood bath, we fight off vicious seals with the healing power of mushrooms, pick the perfect hair scrunchy for striper surf fishing, and dominate the trout pond at the beef jerky convention.

This week, veteran fly tyer and YouTube OG, Tim Flagler, pulls Post-It Note knowledge from his Mazda hatchback, we take a few hundred volts to the heart in the name of trout research, explain why making your own bugs makes little financial sense, and wind up cold and naked on the Yellowstone.