This week, veteran fly guide, Joe Demalderis, and artist Mike Sudal navigate a hostile homeless camp while looking for happy carp, we freeze and thaw for hot nighttime brown action, see aliens on our porch even though we're sober, and wear our trout vests to the Ren Faire.

This week, Reed "The Fish Monger" Brand teaches us how to tell our friends they suck at filleting without hurting their feelings, we inspect the gills of a largemouth viewed 1 million times, feed a family of five with the tails of golden tilefish, and skip out on football to go lobstering in a gale.

This week, legendary guide and writer, Steve Dally, shoots high-velocity AA batteries at giant, venomous sculpins, we fail to land a single tarpon after getting easily 100 shots, almost get locked up for sea shell smuggling, and watch a massive trout get caught by a massive A-hole.

Learn how to break the news to your boss's escort that she's 100 miles offshore and won't see land again for a really long time.

This week, Captains Eric Kerber and Darren Dorris navigate us to the casino buffet with nothing but a compass heading, we spend $35,000 on poles to help us catch tiny bonito, learn why striped bass love the smell of diesel fuel, and invite Lavar Burton to read us the flounder regulations.

This week, lure maker Dennis Perko and tattooer "Sideshow" Brian Woolverton fight over who gets to drive the Milf Hunter 5000 to the fishing expo, we stuff a water wolf in the freezer and financially ruin our parents, glide bait our way to internet trolling, and die eating Montana sushi.

This week, Joe and his best bud, Mark Wizeman, muscle through a show after chasing a 5-year-old rainbow slayer around all day, Pastor Ted drops by to bless their quest for "orange trout," we get kicked out of a bar for underage flyfishing, and impress the ladies with our mud stockings.

This week, veteran Niagara River guide Frank Campbell trades fish heads for seedy massages, we put antiseptic ointment on the lips of smallmouth bass, ruin the life of a lady from Kentucky, and upset an Englishmen by kicking his fish into the strip club.

This week, Mark Davis of "BigWater Adventures" fights the oldest oak tree in Texas fueled by one sip of Coke Zero, we see who can handle more dorsal spines to the back of the calf, struggle to reel in the head of a dead amberjack, and wrestle a goliath group after our flip flops absorb a lightning strike.

This week, media legend Steve Quinn of In-Fisherman gives us pointers for catching eels in Manhattan, we bomb job interviews arranged by our moms, learn why bass got no respect in 1989, and allow our kids to squander careers in Major League Baseball to catch more pike.