This week, Miles Nolte feng shuis your fly box and hammers with a gas station spoon, we make out with sweaty strangers in New Orleans, fail to be West Coast cool on eastern rivers, gobble trout sashimi, and settle for a closed-face second prize.

Learn how to dodge aggressive hawks in a sea plane and miss bulls on parade because they’re beyond nipple deep.

This week, lodge owner, musician, and tattooer Theophile Bourgeois improves our casting with white lace, we play sludge metal and sip dessert bloody Marys, endure pain in our drum holes, and get wasted on a stranger’s houseboat.

This week, Joe and Captain Eric Kerber teach you how to increase your odds of dying in a helicopter, the boys garnish Alaskan shark frustration with orchid petals, ruin vacation for wildlife photographers, and pass on throwing little in-line spinners on massive tuna rods.

This week, Robert Hawkins and Justin Carfagnini of Bob Mitchell’s Fly Shop have trouble recognizing famous hockey players, we eat fried chicken with the predator in the water closet, trade used gear for Macy’s gift cards, and cry about losing our favorite Adidas hat.

This week, Nate P. and Erik S. of “Shore Lunch With Nate P.” thwart feline attacks and fish next to a water skiing Jeff Bezos, we savor the essence of beer and urine at Prince’s favorite club, throw raw bacon at unsuspecting fans, and dunk worms with the goodest boys in Minnesota.

Legendary surfcaster Bob “The Garbage Man” Bratananananewski explains the benefits of Pilates and why you’re not special because you can catch blitzing striped bass.

This week, former tackle shop owners Bill and Helen Brinkman explain why you never give free coffee to anglers, we discuss getting in bar fights with rod-and-reel thieves, recall the essence of liquified Atlantic sturgeon, and drive a giant Buick right into the minnow tanks.

This week, Mike Williams of “The Blair Witch Project” encourages kids to trespass in abandoned buildings while fishing, we watch tight liners duke it out with Brad Pitt, discuss a severe injustice to marlin anglers, and sink our fangs into “Blood Hook”

This week, walleye guide Ross Robertson goes deep on “video game fishing” and shallow on compliments, we steal a new Huffy bicycle from a little girl at a derby, get forward-facing about bedded bluegills, and ride off in an Argo like Thelma and Louise.