This week, the honorable Nate P. angles on the Black Sabbath and shows us where the bodies are floating, we catch the world's smallest steelhead and the biggest pit viper carp, have a terrible shaving accident while infusing dough bait with fear, and feed Tuna Helper to obnoxious squirrels.

This week, Jim Fee leaves his family at the zoo to trespass with teenagers, we prepare our dads to have their arms ripped off in a foreign country, soak Kool-Aid infused chicken for frozen trout, and wood chop our way to disappointment at the drainage pipe.

This week, Captain Eric Kerber, "Neighbor" Steve McIntyre, and Matt Farrell ring in the New Year by lying about chain pickerel, we turn our kids into blood-thirsty fish killers, inject adrenaline right into our hearts to stop a glide bait overdose, and book a UFO sight-seeing cruise because it's cheaper than a tuna trip.

This week, Miles Nolte dons "gum boots" and plays Santa at the Kiwi hatchery pond, we ruin Christmas by forgetting that water freezes when it's cold, glue two pairs of waders together and hope our Doc Martens stay dry, and make our wives pick out super-complicated lures for us.

This week, Zach "Hammer" Miller and Captain Frank Campbell join forces to overtake Skein Bag Sam, we bring the smoke to the gambling hall and get on a hot brown streak, plead with nine cable access viewers to help us feel our hands, and discuss how soup isn't really that good.

This week, veteran filmmaker R.A. Beattie follows topwater retrieves for 30 days to capture one clip of his grandpa's garage exploding, we explain why Mongolia is like Montana minus all the yoga dojos, clean out our drawers and ship the contents to Slovenia, and use AI to create the perfect salmon for the Duke of Wolsingham.

This week, Mike Iaconelli grabs his waders and steps into awkward boudoir shot hand-offs, we throw glide baits behind the worst department store of the 90s, explain why your kid is better at fishing a Senko than you are, and poison invasive species with liquor and real bits of gold.

This week, Tim Romano bear hugs a muskie and counts your little floaters, we poach stocked trout because our dad says it's OK, get adopted by a Mexican family that gives us illegal plants, and throw a drift boat in the dumpster because we don't want to talk to strangers.

This week, C&R sound engineer "Magic" Mike Pedersen flies all the way from British Columbia for smoked dogfish with mustard on rye, we throw pork roll at striped bass from the top of the Empire State Building, get kicked out of Applebee's for wearing vulgar T-shirts, and nearly burn down a church with hot chocolate peanut bunker action.

Too cheap for pro taxidermy? Learn how to botch every DIY attempt at preserving tails, jaws, teeth, skulls, and other fish parts in your kitchen.