Dad to Dads Podcast

Having personally been through an 11 year divorce/custody process, Keegan Burke, a divorce strategist, shares his insights on navigating the complexities of divorce, particularly for men. He discusses the importance of having a strategy, understanding the obstacles men face, and the common mistakes made during the divorce process. Keegan emphasizes the need for documentation, dealing with false allegations, and managing relationships with attorneys. He also provides valuable advice for dads going through divorce, highlighting the importance of planning and accountability.

Takeaways

• A divorce strategist helps men understand the divorce process.
• Economic considerations are crucial in divorce planning.
• Men often underestimate the costs associated with divorce.
• Attorneys may not always provide the best advice for clients.
• Documenting everything can serve as vital evidence in court.
• Men need to be proactive in protecting their interests during divorce.
• The family law system can be biased against men.
• It's important to choose the right attorney for your case.
• False allegations are a common tactic in divorce proceedings.
• Having a solid strategy can significantly improve outcomes in divorce.

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In this episode, Dr. Eran Magen discusses the challenges faced by men going through divorce, emphasizing the importance of support systems, emotional well-being, and the impact of parenting on children's lives. He shares insights on how men can navigate the emotional turmoil of divorce, reconstruct their self-image, and find joy in life post-divorce. The discussion also covers strategies for managing conflict, dealing with false allegations, and the significance of building a supportive community. Dr. Magen provides practical advice for men to enhance their mental health and well-being during difficult times and especially around the holiday season.

Takeaways

• The relationship between parents and children is crucial for emotional development.
• Men are at a higher risk of suicide during and after divorce.
• Support systems are essential for men to cope with emotional challenges.
• Loneliness is a significant issue for men, especially post-divorce.
• It's important for men to allow themselves to be happy outside of parenting.
• Children are sensitive to their parents' emotional states.
• Scheduling fun activities can improve mental health and well-being.
• It's okay to have bad days; they are part of the healing process.
• 988 is a vital resource for those in crisis or needing support.
• Building a supportive community can help men navigate divorce

www.divorcingdads.org/

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In this episode of the Dad to Dad's Podcast, Robert and Bella Duncan discuss the challenges divorced parents face during the holiday season. They share practical tips to ensure children feel secure and happy, emphasizing the importance of logistics, emotional support, and thoughtful gift-giving. Bella highlights the need for parents to avoid conflict and focus on creating positive memories for their children, reminding listeners that kids only get one childhood.

Takeaways

• Work out the holiday schedule early to avoid confusion.
• Assure your kids that you will be okay when they are with the other parent.
• Avoid discussing contentious issues during the holidays.
• Encourage your kids to give thoughtful gifts to their co-parent.
• Remember that your kids only get one childhood, make it count.
• Logistics help children feel secure and reduce their anxiety.
• Children often worry about their parents' happiness during the holidays.
• Keep adult conversations separate from children's experiences.
• Create a positive holiday atmosphere for your kids.
• Focus on the joy of the holidays rather than personal

 www.akidwithtwohomes.com
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Rod Richard, Coach & Mentor, shares his journey into fatherhood, emphasizing the importance of being present and the challenges modern fathers face. He introduces the four pillars of fatherhood: faith, family, finance, and fitness, and discusses how these elements intertwine to create a well-rounded approach to parenting. Rod reflects on the state of fatherhood today, noting a resurgence in the value placed on fatherhood and the need for male camaraderie. He offers heartfelt advice for new fathers, encouraging them to embrace their journey and be present for their children.

Takeaways

• Rod emphasizes the importance of being present as a father.
• The four pillars of fatherhood are faith, family, finance, and fitness.
• Modern fathers face challenges like work-life balance and self-doubt.
• Fatherhood is a journey that requires continuous learning and adaptation.
• The importance of male friendships and support in fatherhood is crucial.
• Rod believes that every father is the perfect father for their child, flaws and all.
• Rod encourages fathers to embrace both the good and bad moments of parenting.
• Conversations about fatherhood are essential for personal growth and community support.

www.4fitfatherhood.com

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JD Emmons shares his journey from feeling like an outcast in his youth to becoming a sobriety and development mentor. He discusses his struggles with alcohol, the turning point that led him to sobriety, and how his faith played a significant role in his recovery. JD also delves into his fitness journey, highlighting the transformation he experienced after quitting drinking and how he now uses fitness as a mental reset. He emphasizes the importance of choices in life and how he aims to inspire others through his experiences and coaching.

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In this episode of the Dad to Dads podcast, Robert engages with relationship specialist Dr. Jeanne Michele to explore the complex topic of infidelity. They discuss the prevalence of infidelity in society, the various forms it can take, and the emotional impact it has on both partners. Dr. Michele emphasizes the importance of communication, self-reflection, and setting boundaries in relationships. The conversation also delves into the differences in how men and women experience betrayal, the role of masculinity, and the potential for healing and rebuilding trust after infidelity. Dr. Michele shares insights from her book, 'The Infidelity Cure,' which offers guidance for those affected by infidelity, including the affair partner. The episode concludes with a discussion on the influence of ancestral patterns on behavior and the importance of seeking professional help to navigate these challenges.

Takeaways

• Infidelity is a prevalent issue, with 70% of Americans engaging in some form of it.
• The definition of infidelity can vary between couples and includes emotional and physical betrayals.
• Social dynamics, including workplace interactions and social media, contribute to the rise of infidelity.
• Recognizing early warning signs of infidelity can help prevent deeper issues.
• Infidelity can serve as a wake-up call for couples to address underlying relationship problems.
• Men often struggle more with the physical aspect of infidelity than women do.
• The emotional connection is often more painful for women than the physical aspect of infidelity.
• Setting clear boundaries in relationships is crucial to prevent infidelity.
• Self-reflection is important for understanding the motivations behind infidelity.
• Healing from infidelity requires commitment and effort from both partners.

www.drjeanemichele.com
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INFCure.com
TheInfidelityCure.com

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In this episode of the Dad Dads podcast, Robert interviews former NBA player Cuttino Mobley, who shares insights from his basketball career and his experiences as a father. Cuttino discusses his early life, the influences that shaped him, and the lessons he learned from playing alongside basketball legends. He emphasizes the importance of mentorship, the challenges of parenting, and the values he instills in his children. Cuttino also addresses the societal perceptions of fatherhood and the need for fathers to be present and engaged in their children's lives. The conversation is filled with wisdom, humor, and heartfelt reflections on the joys and responsibilities of being a dad.

Takeaways

• Cuttino reflects on his journey from a late start in basketball to the NBA.
• Playing with legends like Pippen, Barkley and Hakeem taught him valuable lessons.
• Mentorship is crucial in both basketball and fatherhood.
• Cuttino emphasizes the importance of defense in basketball.
• He discusses the impact of coaching on his understanding of the game.
• Cuttino enjoys watching current players like Anthony Edwards.
• He believes in raising children with strong work ethics regardless of gender.
• Cuttino shares the differences in parenting a son versus a daughter.
• He expresses the joy and fulfillment he finds in being a father.

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In this interview, Robert welcomes back Dr. Peter Salerno, author of 'The Nature and Nurture of Narcissism.' Dr. Salerno discusses his alternative perspective on narcissistic personality disorder and the misconceptions surrounding it. He challenges the traditional theories that attribute narcissism solely to abuse or neglect in childhood, emphasizing the role of genetics and innate temperament. Dr. Salerno also addresses the concept of codependency, arguing that it is not a valid diagnosis and that narcissists can manipulate and hijack the emotions of others. He highlights the importance of understanding the genetic and biological factors that contribute to narcissism. Narcissists thrive on chaos and drama in relationships because of deficiencies in their brain structure and functioning. They have a complete lack of empathy and lower arousal in certain areas of the brain, making stability and normalcy boring to them. They have a distorted perception of reality and believe that drama is the baseline of normal functioning. Narcissists have personal motives in relationships that have nothing to do with the well-being of the other person. When confronted or exposed, they can become vindictive and play the victim.

Takeaways

• Narcissistic personality disorder should be understood from the perspective of gene-environment interaction, rather than solely attributing it to abuse or neglect in childhood.
• The traditional theories of narcissism overlook the role of genetics and innate temperament in the development of the disorder.
• Codependency is not a valid diagnosis and should not be used to explain why individuals attract narcissists.
• Narcissists have the ability to manipulate and hijack the emotions of others, leading them to behave in ways that are uncharacteristic.
• It is important to consider the genetic and biological factors that contribute to narcissism in order to better understand and address the disorder. Narcissists thrive on chaos and drama in relationships because stability and normalcy are boring to them.
• They have a distorted perception of reality and believe that drama is the baseline of normal functioning.
• Narcissists have personal motives in relationships that have nothing to do with the well-being of the other person.
• When confronted or exposed, narcissists can become vindictive and play the victim.

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Robert welcomes back Erin Schaden, Divorce Coach & Family Law Attorney. In this episode, Robert and Erin discuss divorcing a narcissist. They talk about the prevalence of narcissism in divorce cases and the importance of working with an attorney and divorce coach who have experience dealing with high-conflict divorces. Erin emphasizes the need for strategic planning and preparation when divorcing a narcissist, including understanding the different personality disorders involved and how to approach them. They also discuss the challenges of custody battles with a narcissist and the importance of documentation and having a strong support system. When dealing with a narcissistic ex-spouse in a custody battle, it's important to understand projection and alienation. The narcissist often accuses the other parent of what they are guilty of themselves, and they may manipulate the child to align with them through psychological abuse. It can be difficult to prove alienation because the child may align with the alienating parent out of fear and a lack of alternatives. Children tend to align with the parent they feel safest with, so judges should consider who the child feels safest with when making custody decisions. It's crucial to document everything, even seemingly minor incidents, as they may be useful in court. Communication apps like Our Family Wizard can be helpful in managing communication and reducing conflict. It's important to trust your instincts, be intentional with your words and actions, and avoid badmouthing the other parent to your children. Addressing your own childhood wounds and seeking help from professionals can also be beneficial.

Takeaways

• Divorcing a narcissist can be extremely challenging and requires strategic planning and preparation.
• Working with an attorney and divorce coach who have experience dealing with high-conflict divorces is crucial.
• Understanding the different personality disorders involved and how to approach them is important.
• Documentation is key in custody battles with a narcissist.
• Having a strong support system and expanding your frustration tolerance are essential for navigating the divorce process with a narcissist. The narcissist often accuses the other parent of what they are guilty of themselves.
• Children may align with the alienating parent out of fear and a lack of alternatives.
• Judges should consider who the child feels safest with when making custody decisions.
• Document everything, even seemingly minor incidents, as they may be useful in court.
• Communication apps like Our Family Wizard can help manage communication and reduce conflict.
• Avoid badmouthing the other parent to your children.
• Address your own childhood wounds and seek help from professionals.

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Robert brings back parent alienation expert Charlie McCready to further discuss parent alienation as well as address the questions and comments from listeners. Charlie discusses the emotional roller coaster that targeted parents go through, including grief, guilt, injustice, isolation, anger, and anxiety. He emphasizes the importance of self-healing and addressing insecurities and vulnerabilities from one's own childhood. We also discuss the dynamics of the alienator and the need to mitigate the damage rather than trying to stop it. Charlie cautions against trying to convince the child that they are being alienated and instead focus on maintaining some semblance of contact and providing unconditional love and support. We also explore triggers, blockers, and expectations that can hinder the healing process. The principal themes of the conversation are: understanding the different experiences of each child, the spectrum of alienating behavior, the impact of enmeshment on children, the intergenerational cycle of alienation, the importance of self-healing, the need for trust and emotional availability, preparing for special days, and maintaining hope.

Key Takeaways

• Parent alienation is a common and heartbreaking experience that leaves targeted parents feeling powerless and isolated.
• Self-healing is crucial for targeted parents, as they need to address their own insecurities and vulnerabilities from their own childhood.
• Mitigating the damage caused by the alienator is more realistic than trying to stop it completely.
• Maintaining some form of contact with the alienated child, even if it is difficult, is important for counterbalancing the negative narrative they are exposed to.
• Triggers, blockers, and expectations play a significant role in the healing process and need to be identified and addressed. Each child's experience of parental alienation is unique and should be considered individually.
• Alienating behavior exists on a spectrum, from severe to naive.
• Enmeshment can have a significant impact on children, leading to long-term psychological effects.
• The intergenerational cycle of alienation can result in children developing cluster B personalities.
• Self-healing is crucial for targeted parents to be emotionally available and trustworthy for their children.
• Preparing for special days and managing expectations can help targeted parents cope with the alienating parent's tactics.
• Maintaining hope is important, as relationships with alienated children can change over time.
• Reframing the narrative and focusing on personal growth can empower targeted parents to regain control of their lives.

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