Financial Dominatrix makes thousands torturing men online, the KKK wants to rebrand, Scottish chick wins Miss Hitler 2016, first death in an autopilot car comes as driver was watching Harry Potter, brawl erupts at Dallas taco joint because of chips and dip

Afghanistan quarantines their only pig, Jersey teacher fired for saying he wanted to "get baked" with "hot" students, BBC in trouble for joking about the Queen of England having sex, Perry Ellis lands endorsement deal with Perry Ellis, Uber now offering hot air balloon rides

India puts 18 Lions on trial for murder, RIP to the 33 inch tall human who played ALF, China wants to do whole body transplants, MMA dude kills himself play Russian Roulette

NYC Professor giving out his semen to women who need a rogue sperm donor, Prisoner sues prison for having to remove marble implants from his penis, woman gets impaled by a umbrella at the beach, Japan bans fat people from their Naked Restaurant, EMS responders wait for their White Castle instead of responding to emergency call, man slaps woman in the face with chicken

Rogue monkey causes nationwide blackout in Kenya, Rabbis say chicks are not allowed to ride bikes anymore, woman pulls gun on a wrestler at a show, Chicago teen confesses to murder on his snapchat, Science Says millennials dont like doing stuff

Russian dude chops off his buddy's dick with an axe in fight over who had the bigger penis, Axl Rose trying to get a fat picture of him removed from Google, Fox in trouble for their poster for X Men showing violence against women, Father challenges his daughter to a gun duel, Donald Trump shouts out "my African American" at his rally

30 mins od Daily Mail featuring stories from everywhere on Earth

Teacher says kids shouldnt watch Harry Potter, Nudists are going extinct because millenials dont like getting naked, dude tries to pay a hooker with a rare primate, Nerd-Off - 4 year old Dinosaur expert vs 15 year old who discovered an ancient Mayan civilization, and dating site matches Canadians with Americans fleeing the country if Trump wins

Science Says your friends dont like you, 5 out of 5 Floridas - guy shoots his brother over cheeseburger dispute, Professor accused of being a terrorist because he did math on the plane, teenager on zip line in Vegas pees on the crowd below him, lying ass 70 yr old woman pretending to be blind says her eyesight is cured after hitting her head

KFC flavored nail polish, Body in Brooklyn with concrete feet washes ashore, Jet Blue gives out free flight for crying babies, people are using anti-diahreha meds to get high