Daily Mail

Woman with twins finds out they have different fathers, woman puts a baby in her carry on bag during flight to Paris, penguin travels 5,000 miles to see the man who saved him from near death, Cuban dudes put pearls in their dicks, Florida mom known for Pro-Gun stance gets shot by her 4 year old son

Hot Dog Hooker is BACK, teacher fired after student finds nudes on her phone, dude waterboards his girlfriend to find out if shes cheating, guy shoots himself in the face taking selfies, Science Says happiness can kill you, and two siblings born both on Leap Day

Los Angeles edition of DailyMail

Dude walks across the Alps in fake goat legs, NASA will pay you 18k to lay in bed and smoke weed for 70 days, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas asks a question for first time in 10 years, dead body found at an Air BnB, and an Oscars MFK

Supreme Court justice hasn't asked a question at work in 10 years, Oil is so cheap pirates are just giving up on pirating, German mayor caught searching for hardcore porn, garlic knots start a brawl in Florida, old couple invent their own time zone

Argentinian soccer ref killed for issuing a red card, China displacing 10,000 humans to build telescope searching for aliens, 2 marijuana nuns dedicate their entire lives to weed, dude wakes up from a coma speaking Mandarin, and Virgin Airlines tells Kanye West to eat a dick

Dude rides his bike from India to Sweden for a girl, chick attacks her boyfriend with a mini bat for not getting her a Valentines Day Gift, dude meets his Facebook friend for Valentines Day and gets thrown off a building, Kanye West designed penis video games when he was 12, and a MFK Monday featuring Adriana Lima, Kate Beckinsale, Olivia Wilde and some SHOCKING results from the voters

Pope sends out 1,000 "Super Confessor" priests, dude blames his 10th DUI on eating beer battered fish, woman gets deported for using her passport pages as toilet paper, stripper cant stop getting naked in public places, plumber gets naked in his client's home, and the Thursday Throwback of the Day - The Wild Things Threesome

Chinese baby wakes up right before being cremated, goat arrested in India, Indian police are going to use slingshots, Red Lobster up 33% after Beyonce mentioned them, Florida man throws an alligator through the drive through window, drunk Wisconsin couple lets their 9 year old drive them home

Dude dies doing Krispy Kreme Challenge, guy in India first person to ever get hit by a meteor, Woody Harrelson trying to open marijuana dispensary in Hawaii, Ireland trying to make it "uncool" to be drunk, Michigan bans anal sex