Priest quits church in Antarctica, Snoop detained in Sweden, San Fran combating the homeless with pee resistant paint, cyclists poops in the woods and causes forest fire, Missouri man sits on his dads head and kills him

Chris Christie bails on Springsteen, Trump campaign tactics, a drunken bear, Onion article about nuclear weapons comes true, and Science Says involving cocaine and teenage sex

Backstreet Boys and Nsync are making a movie, a mom arrested for leaving her kids 30 feet away from her, pedophile writes letter asking to legalize sex with kids, 21st birthday in Texas with gunplay, and Hope Solo at the Kids Choice Awards.

A Liverpool soccer player hasn't touched his own dog in 7 years, Serial Pooper caught, Dick Measuring Contest (literally), dead guy in Demi Moore's pool, and weed can make your bones super human.

Canada most admired, intruder wants to smoke weed, asian locks her son in the car and doesnt want to get him out, drankin with pigs, engagement photos with burritos

Fuck Pluto, Farrah Abraham tooth fairy, half staff for the gays, cooking your girlfriend with hot sauce

50 Cent bankrupt, Lil Wayne/Birdman feud, strangling your mom over the TV volume, grabbing dicks, Cracker Barrel racism

KFC is out so I'm filling in. Listen to me screw up a bunch of times! I talk about Nashville and Minions and beer pong. Go buy a Mazda.

Creed fans mad at new Rocky movie title

Donald Trump shocked by his campaign backlash

Dude banned for life for passing out on the toilet in a plane for 30 minutes

Zuckerberg says next step for facebook is telepathy

Dude invents air conditioned shirt

Peas in your guacamole

Baby Floats out to sea

Mixtapes in your happy meal

Dude creating the largest Confederate Flag on earth

Texas dude eaten by alligators