The Taiwanese McDonalds Goddess, Pooping on a Plane, Tetris stops sex cravings, chick marries God, Starbucks changing their Pumpkin Spice Latte recipe

Drunk Batmen with their dicks out, a cheese maker suing PornHub, and treasure hunting in the sewers of Brooklyn are all in today's Daily Mail.

Dude assaults his brother fro eating all the Big Macs, dude chops of Japanese lawyers penis and flushes it down the toilet, Jews are fighting over the letter J, contempt of court for "liking" a girl's photo on facebook, Wheaties is coming out with beer

Trump says he'll whine until he wins, Haha > lol, Prisoners want porn, Science Says dudes like porn (Magnets, OH!) and an unfortunate Disney tweet about the atomic bombing of Nagasaki, Japan

Man sentenced to marriage, dude wont allow life guards to rescue his daughter, Shakespeare was a pothead, North Korea has their own time zone, Porn Hub trying to become The Netflix Of Porn

Millennial Chicks having tons of orgasms, dude gives a 4 year old a wet willy, Donald wants Mexico to pay for his Wall, Dude on Meth at the zoo declares himself Tarzan, old chick offs herself at 75 because she doesnt wanna get old

Japanese girls invent the new "Hangover Look," Chinese people keep dying on escalators, Dutch woman marries her dog after her husband cat dies, everyone in St Louis is killing each other, 364 pound mom goes blind from 28 Red Bulls a day

Iran is 165 Degrees, India trying to ban ALL porn, Village People feud, KFC has invented a bucket that prints photos, Snoop stopped with $422,000, new nominee for MailMan of the Year.

The world's oldest panda, a toddler obsessed with a personal injury attorney, and yes, you will soon be able to spray a condom onto your penis

People who drink make more money, dude complains that bald people are vilified, Deez Nuts officially files to run for President, fugitive gets caught after appearing, and a Real Or Fake involving a pig and an Alabama Walmart