Daily Mail

30 for 30: First Pitch, baby gets drunk as SHIT off of vodka mix up, Brooklyn College janitor moonlights as drug dealer, Playstation users watch a lot of porn, police fool terror plot at the World Pokemon Championships

Chinese people pooping in public in California, dad who was caught in bed naked with his daughter and ended up stabbing his son in law, the Texas woman with a loaded gun in her pussy, Trump says he feels like he was in the military because he went to a military academy for high school, and a Morse Code cheating scandal that will rock the very foundation of the international chess community. Plug in juice up.

Damon Wayans comes to the defense of Bill Cosby, Porn app takes ransom pictures of people, even Westboro hates Kim Davis, woman complains that less weed leads to more meth, rough weekend for Army

Teen charged with having nude pictures of his own dick, too many people are dying from selfies, millennials cant make friends, chick fakes her pregnancy, more potato chip violence

Women lose the ability to multitask after sex changes, the dude who was so freaky in the bedroom he gave his wife PTSD, the fatso who lost 50 pounds pretending to be Gandalf, science invents ice cream that doesnt melt, and German people LOVE to fuck in their cars

Man with a 19 inch penis wants to be considered disabled, Chris Christie wants to track Mexicans like Fed Ex boxes, dude from the Pogues fractures his hip trying a "complicated dance move," Japan putting porn stars on their Metro Cards, Science has found the hangover cure

Bionic penis, parents suing over Wi-Fi making their kid sick, Ashley Madison actually had ZERO chicks, an impromptu explosion on people who still try to call my cell phone, the Oxford Dicitionary is a joke, Wu Tang cant sell their $5 million album, the most naked state in the country

Chicks are "Flexi-sexual," German chick lives on a train permanently, dude arrested for drawing dicks all over Ikea, guy who paid 100k to look like Bieber has gone missing, and the actual Justin Bieber has been banned from doing live interviews

Kid in India born with 3 dicks gets surgery, couple dies in a moat after having sex on top of a fortress, dude stabbed in the neck in fight over potato chips, Chinese chick chugs a whole bottle of cognac at the airport, and woman bites subway passenger on the F train

Parenthood is scientifically the most depressing thing in the world, Israel has dolphin soldiers, India arrests a parrot, Japanese wants to advertise on the moon, and a dude poisons his son's football team