Daily Mail

dude goes on a rampage because there was no mayo on his sandwich, Chinese kid denied treatment because his mom was wearing short shorts, blind barber suing because he was fired, toddler eats one of the most venomous snakes in the world, Chlymidia outbreak in Texas high school

The kid from Who's The Boss got AIDS from a crystal meth orgy, Furries want to have sex with Tony The Tiger, the creator of the Pop Up Ad apologizes, theres a new Transgender Beer, and kangaroo farts are apparently bad for the environment

Chicken fight turns deadly, people drinking frog juice to be better at sex, pharmacy gives out bi polar pills for Halloween candy, military fort goes into emergency mode after soldier dresses up a suicide bomber.

Dude chops off his dick because his girl cheated, apparently EVERYONE has herpes, dude finds out his son actually belongs to his twin brother that he absorbed in the womb like Dwight Schrute, police turn away a guy trying to confess to murdering his gf

Dude charged with assault during Monopoly tournament, Guatemala hires a comedian as their president, Cops now carrying nunchucks, man already camping out for Black Friday 33 days early, school locked down after man demanded to sing Justin Bieber songs to the students over the intercom

Hot dogs contain human meat, dude beats his friend to death because of the walking dead, China says poor men should share wives, cheese is addictive like drugs, people die whale watching

4 year old has a CVS themed birthday party, Jeb Bush thinks Super Girl is hot, drinking red wine is the same thing as exercising, worldwide Lego shortage, hunters accidentally kill a bunch of animals inside a zoo

Dude charged with DUI says his dog was driving, chick periscopes herself drunk driving, Steven Tyler tells Trump to stop using his music on the campaign trail, chick breaks into UFC fighter's home and shits all over his bathroom, dude gets lost in the Australian desert hunting for wild camels

Dude calls the police because he got too high, couple says KFC is the key to to their 40 year marriage, Donald Trump trolls Marco Rubio, scientists create an exercise pill, dude gives a masseuse a $5,000 tip

Babysitter has sex with the dad AND son she works for, Burger King's Halloween Whopper turns your shit green, Rihanna says Rachel Dolezal is a hero, Chuck E Cheese serving booze, reality TV gambling scandal rocks the Great Bake Off