Damn Chocobo: Another Final Fantasy Podcast

Secret of Mana talk starts around the 23 min mark!

Jake and Rich touch one of the non Final Fantasy RPG classics of the SNES era with the often lauded SECRET OF MANA!!! Asshole villagers, a super cool old Knight (who may or may not be a creepy molester?), weird looking goblins, an exciting new battle system, seeds of some sort (???), an impressively sneaky girl, an impressively powerful but stupid sprite thingy, and a whole lot more on the latest sweating in the summer and really exhausted but pushing on because thats the adult thing to do blast we call DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN CHOCOBOOOOOOO!!!!

Music for the Episode Intro: Intro: Real Emotion (Nu Metal Remix) by AkinoRims

Intro: Secret_of_Mana_Desert_Snowstorm by Ziwtra

Outro: The Doomed by A Perfect Circle

Surprisingly we get to business in (relatively) short time! FFX-2 talk starts around the 14'30" min mark.

As the boys wrap up not only the legendary Final Fantasy X-2, they also proceed to check out the few extraneous "X" related media post X-2 and truly wrap up the Final Fantasy X saga. Do any of these sub plots wrap up in a meaningful way? Is there any late game puzzles that annoy Jake we run into? Will Yuna finally see Tidus again? Whats this deal about multiple endings? Is Rich still a train-wreck due to dealing with a newborn (hell yes he is). What the hell is this "Last Mission" deal? And furthermore - what is -Will- and how terrible can it really be? The answer's to these and MORE on the latest Epic Space Battle Featuring Realistic Robots and kick-ass lasers and explosions and teenagers being dramatic about war...oh wait thats Gundam not this..... uh... umm.... Yo, I'm really tired guys...yeah... erm..... Daaaaaammmmnn Chooocoboooooooo!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Music for the Episode Intro: Real Emotion (Nu Metal Remix) by AkinoRims

Early Break: This Charming Man by The Smiths

Outro: Living Dead Girl by Rob Zombie

Buckle in for another lengthy intro as Rich Talks about becoming a father and just how many Final Fantasy VII games he played while on Paternity leave (spoilers, he played all of them). Plus more Dissidia NT talk as Jake finally has had some hands on time with the game!

FFX-2 talk starts around the 42 min mark (I told you, lots of Baby, FFVII and Dissidia talk!)

Jake, Rich, Yuna, Rikku and Paine (Or JRYRP for short) continue their run through the often unfairly maligned Final Fantasy X-2. Side quests galore, an incredibly douchey Ronso, who are the Rednecks of Spira, Rich finding any excuse to mention Sephiroth (look I just did right there), Yuna putting on a somewhat awkward pop concert, and more eyebrow raising fashion await on the latest delightful delectable delicacy delivered directly dubbed DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN CHOCOBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Music for the Episode Intro: Final Fantasy X2 - 1000 Words Piano Cover by Kevin Yang Early Break: This Charming Man by The Smiths Outro: Cherry Bomb by The Runaways

Buckle in for another lengthy intro as Rich Talks about becoming a father and just how many Final Fantasy VII games he played while on Paternity leave (spoilers, he played all of them). Plus more Dissidia NT talk as Jake finally has had some hands on time with the game!

FFX-2 talk starts around the 42 min mark (I told you, lots of Baby, FFVII and Dissidia talk!)

Jake, Rich, Yuna, Rikku and Paine (Or JRYRP for short) continue their run through the often unfairly maligned Final Fantasy X-2. Side quests galore, an incredibly douchey Ronso, who are the Rednecks of Spira, Rich finding any excuse to mention Sephiroth (look I just did right there), Yuna putting on a somewhat awkward pop concert, and more eyebrow raising fashion await on the latest delightful delectable delicacy delivered directly dubbed DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN CHOCOBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Music for the Episode Intro: Final Fantasy X2 - 1000 Words Piano Cover by Kevin Yang Early Break: This Charming Man by The Smiths Outro: Cherry Bomb by The Runaways

NOTE: If you want to skip the "idiots playing and sucking at Mortal Kombat while swearing a lot" section of the show feel free to go to the 1:35:00 time on the show to skip all that and get to the standard format part of the show.

Its that time of year again when our boys spend an hour or so playing a classic game really badly and cursing a lot before talking about how great the game really is because they are too drunk to say otherwise. Do you like Mortal Kombat? Hows about MK2? Really? You dig that one too? Hows about MK3? Oh come on! Its not that bad!

Seriously though, buckle up as Jake and Rich drink a lot and proceed to play the first 3 Mortal Kombat games. How terrible are they at these games? Is Sub Zero the best? How much does Jake hate Johnny Cage? Is Baraka really the worst? (Spoilers - he totally is) Which version of Smoke is the best? Does Jax need metal arms to be awesome? How much is the computer a cheap ass piece of shit? And most importantly - which one of the boys is better in at the game??? All this and our individual "Top 10 Best Stuff We Enjoyed in 2017" countdown on the latest year end celebration we call Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn Chocobooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

Music for this episode - First music break: Techno Syndrome 20 Years of Kombat Remix by OtakuDee Second Music break: Mortal Kombat Theme Remix by Qumu Music Show end music break: Techno Syndrome by the Immortals

Kingdom Hearts talk begins around the 27 minute mark.

Rich and Jake spend a lengthy intro memorializing the once great and now dead Marvel Heroes, only to finally roll into the final run of our play-through of Kingdom Hearts 2. Plot finally kicks into overdrive! Kairi finally has some more screen time! Ansem reports! Did you read them? We didn't (at first anyway)! Do you like bosses finally getting hard? Because one half of Damn Chocobo does! Do you like endgame side content?!?!? Do you like arguably way too detailed descriptions of what we did to level up the various Forms??!!? Well buckle up because you're getting it anyway! Do you like Sephiroth? Because one of us apparently really really still digs that mamas boy! Because Rich apparently really likes grinding out optional side content - much to the chagrin of Jake. All this and lots and lots of wonderful JRPG and Disney drama, pulling at your heart-strings and testing your limits of dis-belief aaaaaall on that wonderful but small world (after all) we call Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn Chocobooooooooo!

Music for this episode - Intro: Darkness of the Unknown Rock Remix by Sasukeshika Outro: Say10 by Marilyn Manson

Kingdom Hearts Talk begins at around the 20 min mark.

Jake and Rich realize they bit off more than they can chew by trying to finish wrap up the game in one more episode only to realize that Sora, Donald and the Goof Bro needed TWO more episodes to properly send this bitch off. Join our heroes as they struggle through non-sequiters and tripping over our own words to finally talk about the "Battle of 1000 Heartless", discuss how awesome (or not awesome) the appearance of a certain One Winged Angel is, find numerous bosses that feel very similar to the great Shadow of the Colossus, debate on if certain boss mechanics are just dated or are bad, and break down why most combat in KH2 is really easy in comparison to its predecessor and numerous other games in the genre. All of this AND MORE on the latest morphanominal podcast with attitude we call the MIGHTY MORPHIN' DAMN CHOCOBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Music for this episode - Intro: Dance To The Death Remix by AquaDeepBasin Outro: Go Go Power Rangers by Ron Wasserman

Kingdom Hearts discussion begins around the 23 min mark.

Hope you have a comfortable seat, folks. Because Rich and Jake return once again for another overwhelmingly long episode featuring Sora, Donald, Goofy and the rest of the Disney and Final Fantasy misfits featured in the wonderful and ridiculous Kingdom Hearts 2. Donald "doing it", Pete being one sad bastard, Jake's strong... feelings... on realistic characters in Kingdom Hearts, lion form Sora's keyblade wielding skills, the long awaited return of Clown Strife, and Tifa greeting people int he traditional manner (with random punching and kicking walls) await on the next horrifyingly spine tingling fall season nightmare we call DAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMN CHOCOBOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Music for this episode - Intro: A Friend Like Me (Sim Gretina Remix) by Sim Gertina Outro: Black Rain by Creeper

Kingdom Hearts talk starts at around the 25 min mark.

Rich and Jake return to Square-Enix's super weird and wonderful Disney x Final Fantasy mashup series with Kingdom Hearts II expecting to hang with our boy's Sora, Donald and Goofy... only to discover a whole new dude rocking the Keyblade. Where is our favorite silly dog man, duck dude and jorts bro and what have they been up to since KH1? Who the heck is Roxas? Who is Naminé? Do any of those questions even get answered in this game or did Square-Enix stretch that out over several games? Are gummy ships amazing? How overwhelmingly protective is Rich when it comes to Pooh bear (Winnie the Pooh beaaaaaaaaar)? Can Rich keep his games straight after playing waaaay too many KH games since last the last episode? Find out the answers to these and all of lifes mysteries on the latest rain drenched and nearly flooded episode of DAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN CHOCOBOOOOOOOOOO!

Music for this episode - Intro: Dearly Beloved (Remix) by Leg Day and GameChops Outro: The Nobodies by Marilyn Manson

Final Fantasy 8 talk starts around the 14 minute mark!

FINALLY Jake, Squall, Hot Teacher, Rich, Jorts Boy, Party Girl, Loser Cowboy, and Love Interest Girl make it to the end of the long and lovely game known to most as Final Fantasy VIII. More Marvel Heroes Omega talk (sorry, not sorry), disbelief that Seifer still has not just thrown in the towel at this point, Aura is the best ever and we should all just accept it, being wildly overpowered and not caring one bit, discussion of how useful or useless an ages old guide has proven to be, no encounter being amazing, the greatest Final Fantasy (possibly JRPG) final dungeon ever, AND a ridiculous re-naming unexpectedly coming back into the picture all await (AND MORE) on the latest fiery fiesta we call DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN CHOCOBOOOOOOO!!!!

Music for this episode - Intro: Liberi Fatali- Fated Children by Rozen Outro: In the End by Linkin Park (RIP CHESTER)