Are you stuck in the Instant Trap and is that preventing you from being successful in meeting the right person for you?

We live in an age where things happen instantly! You can send a message to someone on the other side of the world in real-time, you can have a photo instantly, download the novel you want to read instantly without leaving your house, there's instant coffee, ready-made meals - you don't have to wait for anything.

We live in an age of instant results and expect the same when it comes to meeting the right person.

In this week's podcast, I am talking about how to avoid the instant trap as well as not fall into the scarcity trap.

Most people have heard of burnout – the term was originally related to work and happened when people felt exhausted and disinterested in work and often life in general.

What is dating burnout? Pretty much the same as regular burnout – you can’t bring yourself to get ready for yet another date, you experience a lack of interest in dating overall, you feel exhausted and you have lost hope of meeting anyone remotely decent.

Dating has significantly changed in the naughties – we have more access to singles through different means, yet it has never been harder to meet ‘the one’ or someone we at least want to date. Now because there appears to be so many options and singles available it is more depressing when you don’t find the relationship you are looking for.

In the age of Tinder and internet dating, dating really can feel like a 2nd job. Dating apps can be accessed through your mobile phone so the whole dating world is EVER present.

Now 2 things can happen at this stage:

The frustration you feel at this point is totally understandable and it is now you are susceptible to dating burnout!

In this weeks podcast, I give you tips to AVOID dating burnout and enjoy dating. 

Both men and women are frustrated with dating just now. In fact, there are wonderful singles who miss each other EVERY SINGLE DAY!

The reality is that men and women approach dating and relationships in a way that doesn't work for the opposite sex.

There are common mistakes that men make and common mistakes that women make. Understanding what they are and how to avoid them is a game-changer when it comes to getting results!

The REAL HONEST TRUTH is that most guys are bad daters as they often don't know what they SHOULD be doing. The guys who are great at dating are often the charmers, the players, the narcissist and the psychopaths and they are the ones you don't want as it is all about them!

In this week's podcast I talk about what you could be doing that is stopping you getting results on your dates and causing you to miss out on the person who could have been PERFECT for YOU.

In this week's podcast, I interview Ronnie Ann Ryan who is a Dating Coach in the US who helps smart successful women find love or thrive with magic.

I LOVED talking to Ronnie and she is saying everything that I do! It is great to have this re-enforced from someone who is on the other side of the world in New York!

Ronnie also shares her personal story of being single and frustrated in her 40's when she was getting in the way of her own success. Ronnie went on 30 dates in 15 months and is happily married 20 years later! Ronnie believes (and so do I) that if you want love you can get it at any age.

We talked about:

And so, so much more. It was an absolute pleasure to chat with Ronnie, I hope you enjoy our chat as much as I did

Ronnie Ann Ryan is a Love & Cosmic Coach who has helped 1000s of women find love for 20 years, An author of six books, and a seeker of everyday magic, she also hosts the podcast, Breathe Love & Magic. She is a down-to-earth mystic with a sense of humour, an Akashic Records reader, medium, psychic, Reiki Master, and workshop leader. Her warmth, directness, and keen insights are memorable. Ronnie’s been featured by ABC, NBC, and Fox News, BBC, NPR, MSN.com, Huffington Post, Yahoo.com! among others

You are single and want to meet someone! You thought that dating and meeting people would be fun but that's not your reality, is it? Instead of it being fun you are frustrated.

After weeks and weeks and weeks of bad conversations and dates, you feel so much frustration! You feel so disheartened and wonder if it will ever happen. Nothing prepared you for the frustration you would feel.

Why, why, why does it have to be this hard for you, everyone else seems to be meeting people?

You just aren't getting the results or meeting the types of people that you want you.

You know you don't want to settle but not sure how it's ever going to happen, going on what has happened so far.  

It is much easier to focus on other areas of your life like your job, your family or literally anything else!

But as good as they are, they just don't feel the void inside you. You can't help feeling you still want to meet someone.

You are a nice guy/woman why can't they see that. It is that nice guys finish last or that men only want younger women for relationships? You even ask yourself if everyone is too broken to want a real relationship. Or is it just that all the good ones are taken? 

There is one thing I know I see so many singles do that is repelling rather than attracting the opposite sex. Are you guilty of falling into this common trap?

Listen to this week's podcast to find out what it is and how to change it to get the results you deserve!

The most important relationship you have is the relationship that you have with yourself. It sets the tone for every other relationship in your life.

One of my favourite sayings if from the Perks of Being a Wallflower and it is, "We accept the love that we think we deserve!" When you are able to love and accept yourself you will also be able to accept healthy love. 

Self-love, self-acceptance, self-esteem are often given a bad wrap! They are seen as being a moral flaw, selfish, conceited, egotistical or at worst narcissistic! However, the reality is that loving yourself is a basic human necessity and one that will give you a life you enjoy.

In this week's podcast, I give you insight and tips on how to love and accept yourself so that you will allow someone else to. 

Spring is the time for new possibilities.

It’s been a wet, cold winter and finally, it’s spring. Time to look at what is possible and clean up what isn't working ready for summer. Spring is the perfect time to look at what is and isn’t working for you when it comes to life, dating and love. It is time for a fresh perspective before summer. Oh and whatever you plant now will get the chance to grow by summer!

Did you know the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago and the next best time is now? 

This is the time you spring clean as spring sheds light on what you couldn't see in the dark, cold winter. The sunlight also gives you the motivation to do it. So it's time to spring clean your dating and love life and in this week's podcast, I let you know how with five practical tips.

1. Make space 

2. Clear Away the negative, just like you might get rid of the weeds in the garden.

3. Fresh Mindset - putting in the nutrients into the soil so the right plants will grow.

4. Fresh look and new profiles

5. Acknowledge how awesome YOU are for doing all the hard work!

Are getting in the way of your own happiness when it comes to life, dating and relationships? When you read my question you might dismiss it, thinking why would anyone do THAT!?

But I want you to think about it for a moment. Do you avoid doing things because they are too hard, because you may fail or get caught up thinking what's the point as things haven't worked out before?

So as much as you might want something or something to happen you don't do anything about it!

This can happen in all areas of your life and not just in relationships.

But let's look at dating - maybe you don't date because it is too hard, or you have been rejected too many times so what is the point. 

Or you might have had the person you loved the most in the whole world leave you or betray you and you are scared that it will happen again.

So as much as you want to meet someone the thought of being rejected again scares you. You might stop dating altogether, date unavailable singles or push people away.

When these types of things have happened to you then you start to protect yourself from it happening again.

But instead of protecting yourself are you self-sabotaging your own happiness? Sabotage means deliberately damaging, destroying or obstructing your own happiness! When you see it written that way it would seem a crazy thing to do but it happens more often than you think.

In this weeks' podcast, I talk about why you may be getting stuck in the pattern of self-sabotage as well as how to break it so you can have the happiness you deserve.

In this week's podcast, I talk about the myth that if you just met the right person everything would just fall into place. As well as how having the mindset that you are 'unlucky' in love is making that a reality!

This podcast will teach you two things:

Great relationships aren’t delivered to you by cupid or the love fairies. The reality is that they are created by two very imperfect humans who have insecurities, baggage, past experiences and yep – flaws!

Conflict is Inevitable even in healthy relationships! No matter who you chose to be with you need to be able to communicate what you want and need, as well as being able to listen to what they want and need!

After listening to this week's podcast you will learn how to change YOUR luck.

Like it or not text messaging is a HUGE part of how you date in the 21st century. It's a pretty new skill that you HAVE to have to get results.

If you want to be successful in getting a first, second or third date you need to have good texting skills otherwise you will miss out on dating the person you want. Especially when it comes to online dating, where it is your first ever conversation.

When you text, you don't get to see how the other person feels about what you are saying. You don't get the chance to see if they are smiling or offended like you would in person! Texting is SO open to misinterpretation and is one of the biggest reasons you could be missing out on meeting the person who is right for YOU.

As a Relationship Coach for men and women, I see how simple mistakes from both sexes STOP them from getting dates. I see how the assumptions they make get in the way of results.

Men and women tend to communicate differently by text message and I see this every day when I see the text message they send and can instantly tell why they are missing the mark.

Men often treat messages as outcome-based and transactional. They will use them to communicate a set outcome like - 'Let's meet for dinner at the Queens at 7 pm. Rather than having a conversation to get the lady, they are talking to feel comfortable enough to meet them.

Women on the other hand want to get to know someone a little, to feel safe and comfortable and do this via a text message conversation.

Women get frustrated, thinking if a guy was really interested in them, he would make the effort to be interested when he is talking to her via text.

The problem is men aren't always super great at messaging and ladies you miss out on quality guys who can't message - which is a high percentage of them!

In this week's podcast the ladies will find out how to stop doing this and the men will find out easy-peasy ways to text to get results!

Win-win, right?