They’ve been treating me like one of the family, and I’ve put up with it for as long as I can.

Get up on the down stroke, that is if you can sing and dance. - George Day

Your either living where you are or you just live where you at! - Darren Gray

Let he who without sin read The Oklahoma Gazette!

 “Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.”

I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went, then it dawned on me.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both ‘lefts,’ which on the one hand is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.

I went to see the doctor about my short-term memory problems — the first thing he did was make me pay in advance.

I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.