Dating Like A Goddess

The Goddess takes aligned action; what does this even mean?

A lot of my clients love the dating apps, and some of the clients hate the dating apps.

And I also know of some people that, because they hate the dating apps so much, they don't even date at all, and they don't get to meet anyone.

They're just waiting for the magic to happen and for a guy to just magically appear out of nowhere.

And I am not going to take that away from you; I'm not going to say that that's not going to happen.

But if you are really interested in meeting someone, you want to make it happen as soon as possible; then it's going to require you to take some action. Just sitting at home watching Netflix is just not going to manifest the man of your dreams. I'm sorry.

Unless you want to manifest an Uber delivery driver.

It's like if you're looking for a job, you can physically go from company to company and apply for a job. Or you can blindly apply for jobs to the companies that you want to without knowing what jobs are available, without knowing if they are hiring or what they are hiring for. Right?

Or you can go online and search for what you want.

And we have this advantage. We are supposed to use today's technology to help us.

The problem is that we have been in this digital age, we've been given all this technology, but nobody has taught women how to use the technology to their advantage.

So here are some things that you can do to take advantage of the technology from a woman's perspective and from a feminine energy perspective.

Press play to learn more 💕

Links

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Hello, Goddess.

In today's episode, we are going to talk about does the goddess follow the rules.

I don't know if you are aware that I am a Certified Rules for Dating Coach, and I love, love, love, love, love, love The Rules.

The rules is what led me to start loving myself is what led me to begin my healing journey.

The rules is what made me become aware of all of the things that I was doing wrong.

And it led me to a journey of self-discovery to find out why I was doing all of these things wrong and was the energy behind my behaviours.

And yeah, this is a little bit piggybacking from last week's episode.

The Rules For Dating., If you haven't heard from them, they were written by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, and there are this set of guidelines that you follow.

If you want to get the guy, follow these rules, and you will get the guy, and I tell you what, every single one of those rules is true.

But I want you to look at rule number one.

Become a creature unlike any other.

You don't have to be beautiful.

You don't have to be rich.

You just need to follow a set of rules.

You need to learn to love yourself.

You need to develop self-confidence; you need to learn that you're worthy.

Some women skip this rule about "being" and go straight to the practical rules about "doing", and this is where it all goes wrong.

Press play to listen for more 💕

LINKS

💕 If you're ready to start working on your Goddessy self, join The Love School

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Hello, goddesses.

In today's episode, we are going to talk about The Goddess is Enough.

The reason behind this episode is that the other day I had this beautiful young client, and she was saying to me, I have had a couple of dates with this guy, and it's all fizzled out now.

It's really strange for me that I met a guy that meets all my criteria, and this guy did; he was educated, from the right background, right age, and right everything.

What did I do wrong Penny?

This kind of consultation breaks my heart because here I had a girl who was doing everything right, super beautiful, young, smart, educated, she had it all, and yet she was coming to me asking me what if I had spoken less, what if I wore a different dress, what if I didn't tell him about my education.

This beautiful Goddess did everything right.

And yes, you can speak less on dates, you can wear a shorter skirt, and more cleavage, downgrade your education, and do the rules to get the guy, but these things are not going to work out because you're not doing them for yourself, because you love yourself.

You're doing them to get the guy.

You want to speak less, yes, but not to get the guy. You want to speak less because that's what a confident secure person does.

A person who speaks less is a person that feels really good about themselves.

So you do want to speak less on dates, not because you're dumbing yourself down.

The strategy here is:

"I'm going to become more confident,

I'm going to love myself more,

I'm going to become more secure,

I'm going to boost my self-esteem."

And all of these things will result in you going on dates and not being in the energy of having to prove yourself.

It's not about what you do or don't do; it's about how you feel about yourself.

You have to flip the switch, and you want to come from the energy that says:

I am good enough.

I am a goddess.

I am beautiful.

I love myself.

And therefore,

I don't need to speak a lot on this date because

I have nothing to prove;

I'm not auditioning here, and

I don't need to sell myself.

I'm the prize here. So

I don't need to work for his approval.

If he likes me, great!

If he doesn't like me, his loss!

I am not going to chase the guy.

The guy not liking me is not a reflection of my worth

It's not a reflection of my value.

Simply is a reflection that he's not the right guy for me.

So do you see what I am trying to teach you all here?

I don't want you to act like the perfect girl.

I don't want you to follow a strategy that will get you the guy.

I want you to work on making yourself see that you're already enough

Work on feeling enough

When you start to see and feel your worth, then you'll start acting your value with the right energy, and all your dates will fall for you.

Press play to listen for more 💕

LINKS

💕 If you're ready to start working on yourself, join The Love School

💕 Visit my website

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Hello, Goddess.

Today we're going to talk about The Goddess is discerning 💕

The reason for this podcast is that I was asking my clients to give me ideas for topics for the podcast. What they were struggling with so that I could do the answer in the form of a podcast for them. And if you would like to contribute to the podcast topics, I will be very happy to help you out as well.

This is what one of my clients wrote to me:

What I need the most help with right now is learning how to tell the difference between an excited, enthusiastic guy with good boundaries and a guy who is pushing boundaries.

This is an amazing question because it comes as a direct result of the healing she's experienced by being in the Love School.

My beautiful Goddes used to be of a very anxious attachment style and used to attract avoidant types of men.

Now that she's on her healing journey, she's starting to attract less avoidant men who are actually displaying interest, and she's not used to men who are so clear she's understandably seeing this as a red flag but don't worry; I got you gorgeous.

In this episode, I'll explain the difference and how to recognise the red flags.

LINKS

💕 What is your attachment style?

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In today's episode, we are going to talk about The Goddess Attracts.

Most of my audience is single, so this is one of the most important concepts for you if you're single.

I know it was one of the most important concepts for me to learn because I never knew this, and nobody had ever taught me about attracting. Nobody had ever taught me about feminine energy. Nobody had ever taught me about polarity.

So if you are like me and you didn't know either, I am going to teach you a little bit about it today.

So the concept of feminine energy is that when feminine energy is fully expressed, it will come across as warm, compassionate, graceful, and vulnerable; all of these qualities will shine through.

When you are in your fully expressed feminine energy, you can refer to episodes to previous episodes to learn how to cultivate your feminine energy.

And when you are in your full expression of the feminine, you become a magnet for the polar opposite, which is the masculine.

This is based on the law of polarity that opposites attract, but in this case, not only opposites attract, the opposites complement each other, the feminine complement the masculine and the masculine complement the feminine.

This is what's going to create a natural energetic attraction.

What happens is that, as I explained in previous episodes, we women live in a patriarchal world where we are forced to be in our masculine energy to be able to function on a day-to-day basis. And there is nothing wrong with you being in your masculine energy because both males and females are made of both energies. We are both masculine and feminine, and there is nothing wrong with you being in your masculine energy.

In fact, if you need to be in your masculine energy to slay it at work, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Masculine energy is really healthy, but what it's not so healthy is that if you are a woman, you are in your masculine energy all of the time, and if you are a man, it's not healthy that you are in your feminine energy, all of the time.

For a woman to be in your feminine energy, that is when you're going to be in alignment, you are going to be more in tune with your intuition, and you are going to thrive in this estate.

So how do you achieve this state in order to thrive and in order to become a magnet?

Listen to today's podcast to find out!

Links

💕 Get my How To Become A High-Value Goddess Course

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Hello Goddesses,

In today's episode, we're going to talk about The Warrior Goddess.

I know what you're going to say, but Penny,

How is being a warrior going to help me in the dating world?

Isn't that too masculine?

Is that going to scare masculine men away?

Is that not going to be too aggressive and too leading?

And yes, if you are operating from the shadow side of the feminine warrior archetype, all of these can be true. The thing is that because we live in a patriarchal society most of the time, these are the qualities that we see portrayed in TV and the media as feminine warrior traits, the negative traits, but if you study what truly feminine warrior energy is, it's amazing, and it can really help you:

🛡️ In dating.

🛡️ In life.

🛡️ To achieve goals

🛡️ To become really confident about yourself.

🛡️To love yourself

🛡️ With your boundaries

🛡️ With your self-awareness

🛡️ To become more assertive

🛡️ To heal wounds in a healthy and compassionate way

🛡️ With creative problem solving

🛡️ To take charge of your life

🛡️ To become an empowered leader

🛡️ To advance your career or your business

🛡️ To create healthier relationships with everyone around you

🛡️ To become more intuitive and trust your intuition

and it can help you with so many more things.

Are you ready, my beautiful Warrior Queen?

Press play to learn more 💕

Links

💕 Get my Goddess Warrior course

💕 Visit my website

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Hello, Goddess and welcome to another episode of the Dating for the Romantic Goddess.

In today's episode, we are going to talk about healing.

One of my ladies asked me the other day, Penny, why do we need to heal? Why go through all the trouble? Why can we not just get on with it?

You could just get on with it, lots of people do, but you cannot live the goddess's life and be stuck in your trauma because both things cannot live together.

In fact, you will not be able to awaken your inner goddess until you start to heal your trauma.

A manifestation of your living as a goddess would be prioritising your healing because healing will lead to living to the fullest feminine expression of yourself.

It will lead to enlightenment; it will lead to happiness; it will lead to living in your purpose.

So if you want a happy life and you want to live the life of The Goddess, then you need to take self-responsibility and work on your healing.

Now, healing is not easy, and healing is not a pleasant journey, but you can take it slow, you can take it easy, and you can do it slowly and uncover one layer at a time.

You can't go into healing and work on your healing 24/7 because it would be too stressful, too painful, and too hurtful.

And it wouldn't be a kind way to heal.

So you want to be doing this healing, little by little, a little bit at a time.

And then being able to integrate your healing as you go, then you heal some more and integrate that And every time you heal a layer of your trauma, you will be able to raise your vibration.

The high-value goddess vibrates high on the consciousness scale, And the partner you want to attract also vibrates high on the consciousness scale. So the higher that you vibrate, the more you heal, the healthier, the more high value the partner that you will attract because you, this is how you become a high-value woman because you are taking care of yourself and taking care of your mental health.

You take care of your emotional health, and you heal yourself; therefore, your vibration gets high.

And also, healing is a manifestation of self-love, and The Goddess loves herself.

Imagine if you have a sick child,

You wouldn't tell the child: "why don't you just get on with it?"

You would do everything that it takes to heal that child.

You will take him to the doctor; you will cut the haemorrhage; you will take care of his emotions; you will, you will take care of him.

So to ensure it doesn't hurt, and you know, if he gets upset, you will take care of him.

So you're going to take care of yourself the same way.

If you're not convinced yet, then listen to this episode to see other reasons why you want to heal yourself.

Links

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Hello, and welcome to a new episode of the Dating for the Romantic Goddess podcast.

In today's episode, we are going to talk about the goddess is not a stop along the way; the goddess is a destination.

We are currently doing the feminine energy archetypes at the love school because I want to teach my ladies how you can reach for these different types of feminine energy in order to meet your goals and the queen archetype is the greatest archetype for women who want to get married, wanna embody the queen energy to be able to attract your king.

So I was doing some research about the queen energy, and I was putting a list together of famous queen feminine energy archetypes and I came across Blair Waldorf (the Gossip Girl character) and I came across a picture of her with a quote:

"I am not a stop along the way. I am a destination."

I just thought, OMG, this is such a great quote because there is so so much queen energy in this quote, and this is what we want, right? The romantic goddess wants to be a destination.

She doesn't want to be a stop along the way.

And in this episode, I am going to teach you how to be able to spot if you are a stop along his way or if you are his destination.

Links

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💕 Join My free Facebook group, The Feminine Goddess Community

💕 Become a member of my monthly subscription program, The Love School

💕 Work with me

Hello, my beautiful Goddess, and welcome to another episode of Dating for the Romantic Goddess.

In today's episode, we are going to talk about how to cultivate your divine feminine energy.

The reality of the situation is that we live in a masculine energy, orientated society.

We are expected to be in our masculine energy 24 hours a day.

Since the minute that you wake up is go, go go rushing to work.

Fighting your way into the tube station, fighting your way through traffic to make it to work.

Then all jobs in general, not all of them, of course, but all jobs, office jobs, or corporate jobs are based on a masculine energy model.

So you are expected to be in your masculine energy all the time. You are expected to compete with your colleagues.

There is no sense of teamwork and collaboration.

It's all; even though some offices say there is teamwork, the reality of, it is not; this is all competition.

Everyone wants to get to the top, and that's the reality.

So in an ideal world, you wouldn't have to cultivate your feminine energy because, as a woman, feminine energy is something that comes naturally to you.

But because it's been beaten out of us, most of us have consciously chosen not to be on our feminine energy because society has not made us feel safe in our feminine energy.

Then it's something that you have to be now very aware of and very consciously cultivate your feminine energy to go back to your authentic self, to go back to who you are supposed to be in the first place and stop pretending to be something that you are not.

In the 90s, we received all these toxic messages from the media, TV, television shows, and movies saying, Oh, we can do it like a man, we can go out there and be like men, and sure, you can.

But just because you can, it doesn't mean that you should or that you have to or do you even want to?

Like you thought that you have to.

But the reality is that you don't; if you grow up in a dysfunctional household, being in your feminine is 100% not safe.

And if you have been in an abusive relationship, then been in your feminine, it's also never been safe.

So if you have not felt safe being in your feminine, I don't blame you for it.

But also, at the same time, the reality is that if women don't take time to be on their feminine as well as their masculine, they will suffer mentally, emotionally, and physically. We now know that the emotions live in the body.

And if you continue to repress your femininity and you continue to suppress your emotions, your physical body will stuffer and your mental state will manifest in your physical state.

And, of course, not everyone is going to agree because there will be a small percentage of you that says, but I want to, and that's totally okay.

You know, it's your choice.

If this is the way you want to be and how you want to lead your life, that's perfectly fine.

As long as it's a conscious choice that you are aware of and you consciously choose to live like this.

But I know that living like this is going to cost you, is going to be more effort, is going to be more stressful, and you can achieve the same, if not more, by being in your feminine energy.

So if you fall under the category of those ladies that love feminine energy as I do and want to be on your feminine energy, but it's not something that you learned growing up or is something that was beaten out of you, then you're in the right place.

We're going to talk about how you can cultivate your feminine energy so that you go back to the truth of who you are, you know, being in your natural state of being.

And, of course, I'm a feminine energy coach.

If you are interested in this topic, I invite you to join the love school where I teach, guide and coach my ladies on how to live a feminine energy lifestyle and, more in particular feminine energy dating.

So today, to cultivate your divine feminine energy, I'm going to give you a few tips so that you can follow a few guidelines to cultivate your feminine energy and be more feminine.

Okay. So let's get started.

1 Love yourself

But I'm not saying love yourself as in having a bubble bath. No, that's not the kind of love that I want you to have for yourself.

I want you to love yourself at a very deep level.

I want you to love yourself at a soul level.

I want you to love yourself at a spiritual level where you work from the inside out, and everything that is in your soul will manifest outwards. It will reflect in your actions, in your energy, in the way that you treat yourself, in the way that you conduct yourself, in the way that you behave yourself in the way that you allow others to teach you.

It will manifest in your feminine energy and reflect on your self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence.

And, of course, this will result in you having a bubble bath, but you don't love yourself beginning with the bubble baths.

But the bubble bath will be the manifestation of you loving yourself, the by-product of loving yourself.

All the advice out there is for you to do the outer work.

So I am going to be the coach that is going to guide you into doing your inner work first.

It's great if you do both

it's great if you start from the inner.

It's not so great if you just do the outer work because the outer work is not going to lead to you finding your soulmate.

It takes a longer time as well when you do it that way.

And also, it will lead to self-sabotaging behaviour because, obviously, you are not ready internally to do an action. Then you try to do the action, then you will sell sabotage somehow, especially if being in your feminine has not felt safe in the past.

When you then try to do the outer work, the outer action of becoming feminine, like dressing up wearing a beautiful dress, you will self-sabotage somehow.

And this is what happened to me. It was impossible to wear a nice dress because I didn't love myself.

I thought that I was huge.

I thought that I looked horrible.

And even though I wore the dresses, I would self-sabotage with my behaviour because I didn't feel comfortable. I didn't feel safe. It felt very awkward.

So it works better if you do the inner work and work your way Outwards.

2 Make yourself your number one priority.

And when I say make yourself your number one priority, I mean this even if you're married and even if you have Children and especially if you've got Children and especially if you are a single mom.

So whatever every situation is, make yourself a number one priority.

I want you to think of yourself. I want you to think of your life like your life is a movie.

Do you remember the movie, The Holiday?

I always loved this example because it really touched my heart when I watched the movie the Holiday with Kate Winslet, and she is having dinner with Arthur, and Arthur says to her, you are living your life like the supporting actress; you are being the best friend in the movie.

You need to be the leading lady of your own life.

So I want you to live your life like you are the leading lady, and the leading lady is the most important person in the movie, and it is your job to make your leading lady happy to make her a priority.

.

The leading lady's children are not the star of the movie; the husband is not the star of the movie.

The leading lady is the star of the movie; it is your job, your priority, to make her happy and to prioritise her in everything.

This is especially if you are an empath; this is going to be, it's going to have its challenges. I get it. I'm an empath as well. It didn't come to me naturally to do this.

So I love this hack: it's like continuing to think about your life as a movie, and you are going to position yourself outside of yourself.

So you are not the leading lady anymore. You are the director of the movie.

So the director of the movie's job is to make the leading lady happy as well.

It is his job to make her look good on camera; it is his job to, you know, get the best out of the leading lady.

You can also make yourself the screenwriter of the movie.

So you're going to write the script, and you're going to decide how the story is going to go for your leading lady.

You have the power to do that, and you have the power to prioritise her with everything.

You are the makeup artist of the leading lady.

You are going to get your leading lady the best wardrobe.

You're going to be the wardrobe manager, and she's going to look amazing.

She's going to have the best hair; she's going to have the best makeup.

This is your job.

And if you think about it, empaths are the best project managers in the world.

In fact, many of my empath friends, previous jobs and careers were project managers, and this is hilarious because this is the job I want you to do exactly, but for you, instead of doing it, for other people, I want you to do it for yourself. So you're going to be your own project manager, and you're going to be your own project. Your job is to make your subject your leading lied to succeed at all levels.

So this is the best way that I can give you in like two minutes about making yourself a priority without making yourself feel guilty.

3 Make allowing and receiving your priority.

Make allowing and receiving your priority as well.

We already talked about allowing on one of our previous episodes.

So you're going to make allowing a priority. You already knew that, but also you're going to make receiving a priority.

Of course, the reason why we allow is so that we can receive.

Masculine energy is giving energy, and feminine energy is receiving energy.

So the more that you allow and the more that you allow yourself to receive, the more feminine you will become and the happier that you will be.

If you're an empath and or you are in trauma response, of course, you want to give, give, give, give, give to people, but to give it's not going to make you happy.

You know, to give is just a trauma response that you are doing in order to survive.

It's a trauma response that you created in childhood in order to survive. It's a survival trauma response.

So you need to heal that and focus on receiving and focus on allowing to receive and allowing yourself and to give yourself the permission to receive.

You can tell you have a problem with receiving, and I see it in many of my clients doing this if anybody pays you a compliment and you are completely unable just to say thank you and take the compliment.

If somebody says, oh, you look beautiful or nice shoes! Or a nice coat! And your response is like, "oh, these old things, you know, I have had them for ages," or "oh, they were cheap. I got them on the sale", or you diminish whatever that person has complimented.

First, it's an insult to the other person because you are rejecting something nice that they've done for you, and nobody likes that.

And second of all, you are blocking yourself from receiving positive energy. You are blocking yourself from receiving something good. A compliment is something good.

So when you find that you do this a lot, then you see that you have a problem with allowing, and you have a problem with receiving.

So your first step into allowing and receiving more.

It will be like the next time somebody compliments you and says, nice handbag, nice shoes. Did you do something to your hair? You look beautiful.

Just stop it with excuses. Stop it with the explanations. Stop it with the degrading of yourself and just smile and say thank you.

Thank you. That's it.

You don't have to say, oh, thank you, I just got it done.

No: Thank you, but my highlights need to be retouched, or my roots need to be done.

No, just smile and say thank you,

4 Being present

Another way to cultivate your divine feminine energy is to learn to be present.

I see a lot of women, and I see it myself as well, and I still do. But, you know I'm not 100% perfect. Gosh, I'm far from perfect. Lol, but what I mean is that there is a learning process, and we want to see progress, not perfection.

So wherever you are is fine; wherever I am is perfect as it is because we want to see progress and not perfection.

So practice being present in the moment and stop dramatising the past and stop yourself from fussing about the future because, you know, dramatising about the past and dwelling in the past, it is going to lead to depression and fussing about the future is just going to lead to anxiety.

Happiness lives in the present moment.

So things that you can do to practice being in the present moment are doing morning pages and practising gratefulness, like writing a page of what you are grateful for that you have got right now.

So you're grateful for your job, your home, and I want, don't, don't see everything like, oh, you know, I hate my job, are not grateful about my job.

Well, your job has got lots of positive things like, you get paid for your job so you can be grateful for the money that comes in every month.

So find joy in the present.

And even though it is not perfect because the more that you practice being in the present moment, it's going to lead to a more beautiful and brighter future.

The same when you go out on dates; practice being in the moment, practice enjoying the date.

Don't be on the date and be trying to think ahead.

Oh, is he going to be a good husband? Is he going to ask me out again? Oh, Does he like me? Oh, is he going to fall in love with me? Does he think that I'm attractive?

No, no, no, no.

Stop that.

And bring yourself back if you catch yourself; just consciously bring yourself back into the present. Enjoying the conversation. Enjoying the place, enjoying the atmosphere.

Enjoying the drink, just bring yourself to the moment.

Another way to practice mindfulness. It will really help you to practice being in the present because that's what mindfulness is to be in the present moment.

So you can get yourself any apps like headspace or stuff like that that help you to guide you through mindfulness practice.

And this will help you to be more feminine and be more in the present time, being more in the present moment.

If your mind is constantly in the past or constantly in the future, you're missing out on your life basically because you're never living your life; you're never living the moment.

5 Prioritize pleasure.

And if you hear we have noises in the background, Lola is dreaming and must be having a really good dream. I don't want to wake her up. So she's making all these cute little noises in the background. So I apologise for that.

So we are going to talk about what we were talking about?

Prioritise pleasure, and now where is your head going with this? Like, no, I'm not going to tell you; I'm not going to go there, lol. Well, you can if you want to, but that's not where I'm going with this.

Prioritise pleasure, meaning focus on your senses.

So like pleasure, you can experience pleasure not only with sex; you can experience pleasure with a lot of things.

So you can experience pleasure while you are showering and enjoying the hot water falling on your skin. That is a pleasure as well.

You can experience pleasure by applying perfume; pick the most beautiful perfume that you really, really, really enjoy. Some women, they focus, they focus on what perfume guys like or how they're going to get more compliments. The only person that you should care about is yourself. You know, you have to like how you smell, so spray perfume.

Apply lotion to your skin, making your skin super beautiful and soft and smooth.

That will also give you pleasure.

Brushing your hair will give you pleasure.

Taking care of yourself will give you pleasure.

Dressing yourself up in the most beautiful soft, amazing fabrics will make you feel pleasure; some beautiful, soft, delicate fabrics feel really good against your skin.

Get yourself the nicest bedding you can afford so that it feels amazing and pleasurable to get inside your bed every night.

You can experience pleasure through your food, and you can pick the healthiest, richest tasteful ingredients to create your meals. You can experience pleasure by creating a beautiful meal that also looks amazing. You can play and pretend that you are a chef and you are going to finish your dishes with a little bit of garnish so that they look amazing because beauty also gives us pleasure.

So you also are going to enjoy pleasure by reading the most beautiful literature.

Looking at the most beautiful paintings

Wear the most beautiful fashion. All of those things give us pleasure.

You can enjoy pleasure while exercising, stretching, and feeling really good.

You want to indulge all of your senses, and this is how you're going to prioritise pleasure.

You're going to go into nature and enjoy the beauty of nature. The more that you are in nature, the more that you are going to connect with pleasure and beauty; the more you connect with pleasure through your senses, the better you will feel.

And this leads me to the next tip.

6 Connect with your emotions.

So the better you feel, the happier you will be; the feminine is connected to her emotions, she feels her emotions, and she doesn't repress her emotions.

And this is not to say that you have to be happy all the time or you have to be sad all the time.

It just means that you are going to prioritise feeling good and feeling happy.

But then, of course, in order to feel good, there has to be polarity and not all the time, not 100% of the time, you're going to feel euphoric and crazy jumping happy.

But you are going to; whenever something happens, you are going to instead of repressing the emotion, you're going to allow yourself to feel the emotion, acknowledge your feelings and practice compassion for how you feel, self-compassion.

Because self-compassion is a way of healing your emotions.

So if you feel sad because something sad happened, you're 100% allowed to feel sad.

Feel the sadness, allow yourself to feel the sadness release with tears, feel compassion for yourself to allow yourself to feel it is already being self-compassionate with yourself.

And you will find that if you follow this process, the feeling will dissipate, and you will be back in neutral really soon.

It's only when you suppress your emotions that they catch up with you.

And it's only when you suppress your emotions that it leads to being unhappy.

But if you feel your emotions, you learn to self-regulate through your emotions; whatever the emotion is, it might be happiness, it might, it might be sadness, it might be anger, it might be whatever it might be, you know, allow yourself to feel the emotion, allow yourself to feel compassion for your emotion, allow yourself to release the emotion.

You need to feel it in order to release it to go back to feeling good about yourself and go back to feeling neutral and focusing on what's great about your life.

Focusing on gratefulness and what's going great in your life will keep you feeling good, and this just goes into the law of attraction, right? Because the more that you focus on feeling good, the more feel-good moments that you will attract to your life.

And also, the more, the better that you feel about yourself, the higher your vibration will become and the better that your vibrational match will become, the higher value the man that you attract will be as well.

So the better that you feel, the better the match that you will make and even when you are, you know, swiping on Tinder focused on something amazing that has happened to you during the day.

Find, well, something amazing, even if it was just little, maybe it's like, oh, you know, you saw a little bird lunchtime, and it was so beautiful and so cute.

So make yourself feel happy with the little things that you experience that are beautiful and pleasant, and they give you pleasure, they give you a smile.

Focus on those little things before you do your matches and your swiping on Tinder, the quality of your matches will be so much better than if you focus on whatever horrible thing has happened to you during the day.

If you want to learn more about cultivating your feminine energy, I do have a course that is just on this, on cultivating your feminine energy.

And obviously, I have a course on how to become a feminine goddess as well, which talks about how to get into your feminine energy.

If you're serious about your journey to becoming more feminine, you are invited to join us at The Love School. 💕

Links

💕 Visit my website

💕 Follow my Facebook Page

💕 Follow my Instagram

💕 Follow my Tiktok

💕 Join My free Facebook group, The Feminine Goddess Community

💕 Become a member of my monthly subscription program, The Love School

💕 Work with me

Hello, goddess and welcome to episode number five of The dating for the Romantic Goddess. In today's episode, we are going to talk about how to be a goddess without coming across as high maintenance or arrogant or as a self-centred bitch.

The reason I chose this theme is that one of you asked me this question, and I thought it would make such a good episode because I've noticed that most of my clients have this fear that they don't want to come across as a bitch because we have been domesticated and primed and conditioned to be the good girl, so we fear that if we are not the good girl, then we are not going to get what we want.

And when I say "we", I used to be this girl as well, so I get where you're coming from because I used to think the same thing. The problem with being the good girl is that there is a very fine line between being a good girl and being a doormat.

I rather you be a bitch when you are dating than you be a doormat because even when in your head you think that you are being a total bitch

you probably won't even be close to one, and you'll still be closer to the doormat line because of the way that you were brought up and conditioned to be nice, to be the good girl.

The thing is that this is not what I am here for.

I'm not here to teach you how to be a bitch.

I'm here to teach you how to be a goddess, and the goddess loves herself.

You see, the goddess is not a bitch and loving yourself and putting yourself first is not being self-centred, and it's not being a bitch.

It's just being a normal human being.

You are supposed to love yourself, and you are supposed to put yourself first because if you do not put yourself first, then nobody is going to put you first.

You might have been brought up by parents who didn't meet your needs, and you might have been brought up to believe that your needs don't matter and that your needs come last and that you are supposed to meet everybody else's needs before you meet your own.

And I'm here to tell you that this is wrong, this is false, and that is just not the way.

Imagine what happens if you do the opposite,

Suppose you don't take care of yourself. You are out on dates with men. They don't know you; they are not in love with you. Not yet.

( you will be able to be nice. You will be able to be nice to each other once he has fallen in love with you and you are in a relationship, and you become serious, but not before you make an emotional connection; you cannot be nice to him.)

When he's a stranger, you need to lean back and allow him to show you who he is before you start being nice to him.

Before they make an emotional connection, they're not going to put you first.

You must put yourself first, and then they will mirror your behaviour, and then they will take care of you.

But if you go on dates from an energy of your date comes first, 1st of all, this is not feminine energy; it's masculine energy. So you're not on your goddessy energy.

Second of all, it's not self-loving, putting others first. It puts you into the doormat category.

Then you are not in the self-loving energy.

You are not in the goddess energy.

And the third is just plain dangerous that you are putting the needs of a stranger that you just five minutes ago rather than your own.

Or even if you are in the online dating world and you're putting men's needs first, then you're putting the needs of 100% strangers you haven't even met yet before your own.

Another thing that happens when you take care of his needs first before your own is that you're doing his job, and therefore you are robbing him of the opportunity to show you his masculine energy.

You are robbing him of the opportunity to show you how much he likes you.

You are robbing him of the opportunity to be chivalrous.

You are robbing him of the opportunity of taking care of you

And more reasons just keep popping into my head even though I didn't write them down; I now feel the strong urge also to tell you that if you are taking care of his needs first, it puts you into the mummy category.

You are treating him like his mom did or as his mom would, and this is not going to create polarisation because, obviously, his mom's energy is masculine energy. Still, it's also it's going to kill the attraction.

He's not going to feel attracted to you if you do that because no man feels attracted to his mom.

When a man goes on a date, he wants to feel like a man. And if you take care of him, then he will feel like a little boy.

Another reason not to be nice when you are out on dates is that when you have the need for a strong urge to be nice, you're probably in people-pleasing mode, and this is a trauma response. You're probably unaware

that you are doing it, and you think that you're being nice, but your energy is not coming across as nice. You're coming across as manipulative because people who are people pleasers is just a way that you are manipulating the other person into believing that you are nice so that you can get your needs met because you were brought up to believe that you have to be the nice girl in order to get your basic needs met.

So this was a trauma response that you created in your childhood, and if you are unaware of it right now, you are still doing it and not even realising that you are doing it.

So you need to become aware of your people-pleasing ways in order to become aware of your behaviour, modify it and ask yourself why are you trying to be so nice to this stranger, right?

What's the energy? What needs of yours are not being met right now that you feel this person needs to meet for you?

If you do a little digging into the energy behind your behaviour, you will discover that the reason behind it, energy, is not going to be a really nice reasons.

One of the reasons could be you are trying to be nice so that he likes you. And the reason behind it might be because you don't like yourself.

So then you need to start working on liking yourself more

Another reason might be you're trying to get him to love you because you don't love yourself.

So you need to work on loving yourself and falling in love with yourself.

You might be trying to be nice to the person because you want him to treat you really well.

But as I already mentioned, this is not going to work. It's going to backfire the way you get to treat yourself really well is by you treating yourself really well, and then he will mirror your behaviour if he likes you.

And then, if he doesn't, it means he doesn't like you; you need to like and love yourself enough to walk away when he doesn't treat you well.

It's not for you to convince him that he needs to treat you well.

We are not here to teach people how to behave well or how to like us, how to love us.

We take it or we leave it because we love ourselves.

So, in other words, we are not going to manipulate the guy into loving us.

We are not going to manipulate the guy into liking us, into falling in love with us, into being attracted to us.

He's either going to like us or not.

He's either going to be attracted to us or not.

And the best way that you can allow that to happen is by you loving yourself a lot and being a bitch, basically being exactly what you don't want to come across as because that is the way that you are going to be authentic because you are going to be taking care of yourself without being manipulative, without people pleasing, without caring. If he likes you or not, then he will feel attracted to you because he doesn't feel any control coming from you.

He doesn't feel any manipulation.

He doesn't feel like you're trying to get him to do something that he doesn't like.

Men hate to feel that we are manipulating them, and men hate to feel that we're trying to control them, manipulating them.

So when you are people-pleasing, the energy that he gets from you is manipulative energy.

When you stop being a people pleaser and you stop being nice, you will not come across as self-centred; you will come across as authentic.

You will come across as the goddess.

Another way that we try to be nice is when we don't say no, and that belongs to the Boundaries category. You must have boundaries.

When you have boundaries, strong boundaries, you come across as high value. You do not; you do not come across as a bitch.

So don't be afraid of having boundaries, and don't be afraid of saying no, ladies.

I could be here all day telling you reasons why you shouldn't be nice. This is why I created the love school, my membership group, which you are welcome to join. If you want to learn more about this, I will give you one more, which I think it's very important.

There's another reason why you shouldn't be nice. It's because men don't think like us.

If you are nice to the guy that you don't know, he will not think. Oh, she's nice.

No.

He will think:

Oh, she likes me. So, because she already likes me, I don't need to work hard to get her, and then he will automatically assume that you are already attracted to him, that you already like him, And he doesn't need to do anything to get you. So he will not treat you like a goddess.

It's very important that we keep remembering that men don't think like us. They are not wired the same way as us. In fact, if you're nice to him, he will think that you are easy, and if he thinks that you are easy, that will kill the attraction.

Remember that to be in your goddess energy is to be in your lean-back, feminine energy. So you cannot be in your doing energy, trying to take care of him, trying to please him, trying to be nice to him, trying to do anything.

On the contrary, you need to stop trying, lean back, stop doing anything and just be happy with yourself; just be happy being yourself, be happy, loving yourself, and he will act accordingly by mirroring your behaviour on how you are taking care of yourself, how you're treating yourself, how you are being self-loving. He will mirror that behaviour back to you.

And then, of course, this is not an exact science.

Some guys will not mirror this behaviour because they are not that into you.

Then you need to love yourself enough to walk away from this type of man.

Instead of trying to be nice to them, for them to like you back, you need to stop doing that and choose yourself, like yourself, love yourself first and walk away from this man that showed you no interest, that showed you that he's not putting in the effort for you.

These men make your job easy and make your search easy because they are telling you really loudly they are not into you, and this is a magic piece of information because if they are not into you, it means they are not your guy.

So you just walk away, move on and keep dating others until Mr Right comes along, and when Mr Right comes, you'll know because he will be trying to please you. He will be really nice to you.

He will be taking care of you.

He loves the way that you treat yourself, and he will eventually fall in love with you, and he will not do this because you're being nice to him.

He will fall for you with your authentic self, and he will like you and love you just the way you are because you are being your true, authentic self with him.

So my love, stop being afraid of coming across as anything negative because when you are loving yourself and when you are living the goddess way, you have absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain 💕

Links

💕 Visit my website

💕 Follow my Facebook Page

💕 Follow my Instagram

💕 Follow my Tiktok

💕 Join My free Facebook group, The Feminine Goddess Community

💕 Become a member of my monthly subscription program, The Love School

💕 Work with me