Why are you angry and how do you de-escalate?Divorce isn’t easy and emotions almost always run high. In today’s episode, Seth and Pete talk with Doug Noll, an expert peacemaker who co-founded Prison of Peace, an organization dedicated to training maximum security prison inmates how to be peacemakers and mediators in their prison communities. He had been a trial lawyer, so knows a thing or two about battles in the court room. So today, we’re having a conversation about conflict and de-escalation.It all starts with emotions. We’re emotional beings, and they far often outweigh rational thought. But why do we get so emotional? And how can we start learning our triggers and how to respond? Those are things Doug knows a thing or two about. Once you’re there, how can you bring yourself down? And what do you do to de-escalate the conflict when it’s your ex who’s bringing it? Doug talks Seth and Pete through some tools that can help you when you’re dealing with high conflict in your divorce. 
About DougDouglas E. Noll, Esq. is an award-winning lawyer-mediator who has mediated thousands of conflicts. His calling is to serve humanity, and he executes his calling at many levels. He is an award-winning author of three books, a teacher, speaker, and a trainer. His fourth book De-Escalate was published by Beyond Words Publishing in September of 2017. De-Escalate is now in four languages and in its second printing. Doug’s work carries him from international work to helping people resolve deep interpersonal and ideological conflicts. He is the co-founder of Prisonw of Peace, and creator of the Noll Affect Labeling System. In 2012, Doug was honored by California Lawyer Magazine as California Attorney of the Year. 
Links & Notes

• Schedule a consult with Seth
• Got a question you want to ask on the show? Click here!
• Get Your Resources from Doug Here
• Doug’s website
• Doug on LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook and YouTube
• De-Escalate: How to Calm an Angry Person in 90 Seconds or Less

• (00:00) - Welcome to How to Split a Toaster
• (00:26) - Meet Doug Noll
• (01:07) - Prison of Peace
• (03:35) - Why Do Arguments Spin Out of Control
• (07:28) - Tool to Calm Down
• (12:29) - Responses
• (14:34) - Affect Labeling
• (18:53) - What Happens in You When You Affect Label
• (20:43) - Day to Day
• (29:13) - Structuring Data
• (33:08) - In a Contentious Divorce
• (39:25) - For the Lawyer
• (43:00) - The Structure
• (44:34) - Opposing Counsel
• (50:03) - Resources
• (52:52) - Wrapping Up