Dead Jester Productions Podcast

The Heroes explained to the bishop what had occurred to them on their travels. They told him of the cave with the massive beholder in it, and the ritual being performed on the Woman. They spoke of the town with the sinister lord, and what ill fate had befallen him. Finally, they discussed the mishap in a small village that had been taken over by vampires, and how they had destroyed an ancient vampire.

The bishop listened intently, though was still very obviously put off by the Jester's smile throughout. When they had finished their tale, he sat for a moment in brief silence. He contemplated what they had said, and pondered whether or not it was at all connected. When he finally spoke, he explained to them that he would need to speak to other bishops to get further ideas on how to proceed.

The Heroes were told to wait in the cathedral, and he would return in just a little while. They made their way back out into the large entryway they had entered from. Parishioners quickly made their way past them, clearly upset at the Jester's presence. The Heroes realized simply standing around would only cause problems, so they made their way to a small, dark corner and began to wait.

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The Heroes stood over the small man, who identified himself as a bishop. His face still pale from encountering the Jester, he carefully continued to look over the Heroes. It appeared as though he was still quite shaken up, and so the Swordsman Hero stepped forward to calm him down. He assured him that they were merely there to provide information and seek guidance.

With this, the bishop seemed relieved. Color returned to his face and he appeared more at ease. He ushered the Heroes to a back room, and sat down behind a sturdy wooden desk. He offered a seat to the heroes, though there was only one open chair. The Heroes looked at each other, waiting to see who would make a move for the open seat. They eventually settled on allowing the Jester to sit down, as it would likely prove humorous.

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The Heroes walked out of the alleyway and back onto the main street. Behind them, the female combatant sat with her back up against a wall. Her face bore a disgusted look, brought on by what the Jester had spoken to her. She no longer wished to join the Heroes on their adventure.

They continued down the road until they saw one of their destinations in the city: a massive cathedral. They made their way inside and looked for a bishop. Turning a corner, they bumped into a small man and he clattered to the ground. The Jester leaned down to extend a hand, and he accepted without looking up. Once he fixed his glasses he gazed upon his newfound acquaintance. The Jester's toothy grin caused the color to drain from his face, and he recoiled. The Heroes realized they would have their work cut out for them.

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The female combatant panicked, swiping at the small skeleton around her leg. She gasped again as two additional skeletons came out of the ground, as though they were plants growing from the earth. They wrapped their arms around both of her legs, causing her to lose balance and fall to the ground. As she fell onto her face, she scrambled to stand back up, but was unable to do so as more tiny skeletons sprung forth and held her arms to the ground. She screamed, and was now unable to move with the miniature cadavers holding her in place.

The Heroes came back around the corner to find the female combatant wildly screaming and clawing at the ground. With a wave of his hand, the Jester dismissed the skeletons and they shrunk back into the ground. The female combatant gathered herself and looked up at the Heroes. They stood over her, waiting to see her reaction. She stood up and quickly put on a false air of confidence. She looked at the Jester and slightly recoiled at his large grin.

Turning to the Swordsman Hero, she explained that she had noticed them in the crowd at the arena. She realized that they were powerful, and wished to join them on their adventure. The Swordsman Hero adopted a slightly perplexed look, and informed her that there was no chance of her joining them. He was confused as to why she would even want to. She explained that she believed that by joining a powerful group of adventurers she would become even more skilled, and would be able to succeed in the main city arena. The Heroes weren't convinced, and the Jester stepped in to explain.

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The crowd cheered as the female combatant continued to celebrate. She tossed coins from the chest up in the air, with the crowd rushing to pick them up off of the ground. The Heroes watched on, entirely unamused by what they had seen. They had been chatting amongst themselves during the fight, commenting on how poorly they believed the combatants had performed. As they walked away, the female combatant kept her eyes on them and then followed after with her reward chest in hand.

The Heroes pushed their way through the crowd, working their way towards a specific nearby shop. They bob and weave their way around the various street vendors and beggars. The female combatant followed at a distance, not wanting to catch their attention. They continued on for a while before turning into an alleyway. The female combatant followed after them, slowly making her way into the narrow street. She was surprised when she didn't see them, so she quickened her pace. As she did, she tripped as she felt something on her ankle. She looked down, and audibly let out a gasp as she saw a small skeleton wrapping its arms around her leg.

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The female combatant put her entire strength behind the blow, bringing her axe down with a thundering force. The spearman raised his spear to block it, but the axe split the spear in two. Shards of the splintered wood went flying in every direction, and the axe found it's resting place in the man's chest. He gasped for air as his lungs collapsed inward, blood spraying out onto the female combatant. She pulled the axe free, and the man grabbed at his wound. As he did, she brought the axe back down into his head. The crowd roared in applause before he even hit the dirt.

The female combatant threw her arms into the air in celebration, blood soaking her from head to toe. She roared with excitement, grinning ear to ear. A well dressed man walked into the center of the small arena to meet her. She walked up to him, ready to receive her prize. He motioned for a pair of young men to come forward from behind him. They brought with them a small chest. He congratulated her, and brought the crowd into a roar. He motioned for her to open the chest, and so she did.

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The axe wielding woman turned to face the spearman, yanking her axe from the dead man's head. She looked around for her other axe, which had inexplicably found its way into the chest of an onlooker. Nobody had panicked, as this was merely the result of watching an arena battle up close. A man in the crowd walked over and pulled the axe from the screaming man on the ground. His bones popped as the steel was freed from his chest. He tossed the axe back into the arena, and the female combatant caught it with ease.

She turned and looked back at the spearman, who appeared to be very confident based on his waiting for her. She readied herself, and then charged at the man. Swinging her first axe, she lunged forward at him with reckless abandon. He parried away her swing, bringing around the back of the spear to counter her second axe swing. She leaned into the parry, and rolled away to a safe distance. Gathering herself, she readied another charge.

She ran forward again, this time throwing an axe as she neared. The spearman rolled out of the way of the throw as it went flying once again into a helpless onlooker. He hopped back up quickly as she assaulted him with a barrage of attacks. The flurry of swings set him slightly off balance, and she quickly capitalized on this. She swung for his head, and quickly went after his legs with a sweeping kick. He fell down, with her raising her axe above her head for the killing blow.

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The Heroes watched on as the few remaining combatants eyed each other up. One of them was a hulking man wielding a large spiked mace. Blood dripped from its end, staining the sand at his feet. Another man held a large spear in one hand, and a small wooden shield in his other. His shield was cracked and chipped, but he was prepared to use it. The final combatant was a thinner, muscular woman. She held an axe in each hand, and blood was smeared across her face. It appeared her lip was split horribly, and she had a large gash across her torso.

The three combatants eyed each other up, none of them wanting to make the wrong move end end up facing off against the other two. Finally, the female combatant acted and turned to the mace-wielding behemoth of a man. She threw one of her axes at him, and he ducked away. As he turned back to face her, he realized it was already too late. She had sprinted towards him, her other axe prepared to find its place in his skull. She swung downward with all of her might, with the axe splitting the man's head from top to bottom in one giant cleave. He dropped to the ground lifelessly, all the while the spearman looking on.

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After hiding the bodies of the thugs, the Heroes continued through the alleyway. It was winding, and brought them through a more run-down part of the city than they had anticipated. Small, scrawny children peered out of their windows at the Heroes as they passed by. The Jester smiled up at them, causing them to flee back into their homes.

Eventually they reached an end to the alleyway, where the sun shone brightly and they could hear the roar of the crowds. A number of people were standing with their backs to the alleyway, and the Heroes surprised them by pushing through. As they emerged from the darkness, their eyes adjusted until they saw the spectacle that had drawn in so many.

A group of men were fighting in a small wooden arena. Blood was strewn about, and limbs were laying near what used to be their owners. Screams rang out from some of the competitors, but only briefly before they were cut out by their aggressors. The city's arena was open for business.

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The Heroes continued making their way through the city, getting closer to the center with each passing minute. The crowds continued to become thicker, until they were having to force their way through. Eventually they gave up and pushed their way into a narrow alleyway. They regained their composure and peered back out into the main street.

They could see the crowds were mostly headed in one direction, but didn't know why. The Jester thrust his arm out and grabbed a random passerby. The Heroes asked what the crowd was for, and the scared man explained that a festival was about to open. The Heroes thanked him for the information by throwing him back into the crowd. In hindsight they realized he was probably trampled, but that is the life of one who lives in the city.

They would need to find a way around the crowd to get to their destination, and so they turned back into the alleyway. As they did, they noticed a group of shady individuals standing in front of them. With their path blocked, the Heroes asked politely for them to move. The group of thugs laughed and drew their knives, and with this the Heroes knew the men to be idiots.

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