Dear Chiefs Podcast

This week we are doing things a little differently. Instead of interviewing an expert, the expert is interviewing Chelsi  + Audra about a critical incident that they experienced several years ago during The Valley Fire in Middletown, California.

**This episode was pre recorded a few weeks ago during the 2020 California Lightning fires and may make reference to the 2020 fire season. Thoughts and opinions in this episode are personal in nature and do not represent any specific fire agency. This is a personal account of a traumatic incident was experienced while their husbands were assigned to the fire.

In this episode, we are being interviewed by Sequoia Etcheverry.  Sequoia is the significant other of a Cal Fire firefighter for over 11 years. She has survived the long fire season deployments, the promotions and career changes, the missed holidays and celebrations, the shift work that makes for both exciting reunions and sometimes difficult ones too. She has enjoyed deeply learning about the ups and downs of her partner’s career, both operationally and emotionally, and is especially proud of the positive influence he has on the world day to day. She helped raise her partners two incredible daughters, who are now 16 and 22 years old.

Sequoia works in the field of first responder trauma as a research assistant and as a peer supporter, especially for first responder families. She has trained clinicians in cultural competence and has been deployed to a number of major incidents in the past 5 years. She has her master’s degree in Depth Psychology, the study of the unconscious, with a focus in trauma, dream work, mythology, and deep nature connection. She is training to become a practitioner in a specialized clinical treatment for Complex-PTSD, which is concerned not only with critical incident acute stress, but also developmental and relational trauma.

At any time during this episode if you are feeling an emotional response, it is okay to either pause or turn it off completely.  You may want to make sure to be in a place that you feel safe and secure, surrounded by a calming atmosphere and reach out for support from us or your peers if needed. We can be reached through instagram messenger @dearchiefspodcast or email: [email protected]

Lisa Yu has always dreamed of being a writer and publishing books. She has a master's degree in Elementary Education and taught kindergarten and first grade for 6 years before becoming a full-time mom. She believes in treating children with respect and dignity, and embracing their curiosity of the world. They should be given the facts and guided to understand the world around them, for one day they will be adults. She feels passionately about sharing this message and hopes that her books will make a positive impact on children and their families.

Lisa's husband is a career firefighter and is often gone for long stretches of time. When their son turned one and a half he began to realize that his daddy left for long periods of time and then returned, but what one and half year old truly understands the concept of time or where his daddy went? He would cry and didn't understand that Daddy was coming back soon.  they talked to him about what Daddy does; that he drives fire trucks and helps people in need, and that Daddy loves them very much and will be back soon. After much repetition, he started to understand.

Lisa realized there was a problem that needed a solution and then "My Parent's Job Children's Series" was born!

The goal of My Parent's Job Children's Series is to showcase jobs and explain them on a level a child can understand. The books are meant to bridge the gap faster in a child's understanding of why a parent leaves for an extended period of time to go to work, (especially where professions keep parents away at night), and what they are doing during that duration.  It is expressed in a way where a child feels proud of their parent, and come to an understanding that it's something they must do, while loving them all the while.

These books can also a resource for  families, schools, or anyone who may want to teach their children about a profession even though they may not live it.

For more information or to purchase a book visit www.myparentsjob.com. 
 

If you've been curious about how essential oils work, how they can benefit your sleep and mental wellness, or even want to remove toxic chemicals from your home, this episode is jam packed with all sorts of goodness for you.

We sat down with USGC wife, mother of 2 (with a new recruit on the way), and Young Living Expert Aislinn Lilly and we got down to the nitty gritty of how to incorporate essential oils into your sleep routine, how to eliminate candles with toxic chemicals from your home but still keep that feel good smell, and how to wear and diffuse oil blends for mental clarity and a better night's sleep.

helpful oils for sleep aid (calming effects): 

• lavender 
• cedarwood
• frankincense
• valerian
• vetiver
• roman chamomile 

How to use:

•  make a roller 
• diffuse in the bedroom
• add a few drops to your nighttime bath
• make your own bedtime mist for pillows and linen

*oils to avoid around children varies depending on age and health conditions

oils to avoid with dogs:
aniese
clove
horseradish
thyme
wintergreen
juniper
yarrow
garlic

oils to avoid with cats:
cinnamon
thyme
wintergreen
oregano
birch
clove
tea tree

For more information on Young Living Essential oils visit Aislin on instagram at : @aislinn.lilly

Raise your hand if you have trouble going to and staying asleep at night! If your hand is raised high like ours, you're going to want to listen to this episode because Jaqueline Toomey of First Responder Sleep Recovery drops some very good tips about getting into a bedtime routine, how to fall back asleep in the middle of the night when you are woken up, and tips to help your first responder recover their sleep after a critical incident.

Jacqueline’s firefighter husband's health, and the health and wellness of the brothers and sisters of the fire service whom he serves alongside, quickly came to the forefront of her everyday mission when they first met years ago. Sadly, her husband lost his senior partner on the job to suicide and this deeply impacted both of them- simultaneously motivating them to care for the psychological and physiological well being of those in the fire service. With over ten years of experience in the field of health and wellness, jacqueline has  dedicated her expertise towards her passion for first responder mental restoration and physical wellness. she specializes in sleep-deprivation, stress and trauma relief therapeutics and founded the transformative First Responder Sleep Recovery Program™.  she received my BA from Regis University, completed masters-level coursework in Education at Metropolitan State University and has trained in Nutrition Therapy. she is a 3-time Yoga Alliance internationally certified yoga and meditation instructor.  She is deeply honored to present at IAFC conferences, peer support groups, F.O.O.L.S, and has taught fire departments in over ten states in the U.S. and two Canadian provinces. She was awarded the most read contributing author to the online firefighter publication, LeatherHeadMafia.com with over 100,000 readers in 2018. You can also find her written work on sleep in the fire service at FireEngineering.com and a new Canadian firefighting publication Crackyl. 

Tips from the show:

Waking in the night with insomnia? Do this 10 minute practice:

- https://insighttimer.com/jacqueline/guided-meditations/nervous-system-reset 

Fall asleep to this practice (try to lay down on back, cover body with blanket and listen:

- https://insighttimer.com/jacqueline/guided-meditations/sleep-recovery-practice-relax

For more information about First Responder Sleep Recovery
website: www.firstrespondersleeprecovery.com
facebook: www.facebook.com/firstrespondersleeprecovery
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/firstrespondersleeprecovery/

In this episode Megan Cordaro from thepatchworkparent.com shares how to handle screen time in the age of Distance Learning and how to be gentle with our children especially when one parent has a high stress job like our responders.  

Megan is mama to 5 kiddos, including a set of twins, ages 15 to 6. She has been a fire spouse/partner for 20 years. She received her Bachelor's degree in Psychology, followed by her Master's in Social Work. After welcoming her first babies home, her heart knew her education and passion would be best utilized at home, raising her children. In a perpetual state of growth, she yearns to share what she's learned so far with anyone who feels they could benefit. She loves books that relate to respectful and gentle parenting.  

Megan "patches" together ideas, reality experiences, determination, tears and laughter to craft a perfectly imperfect calm and loving childhood for her children.

California is in the throes of fire season, our firefighters have been away from home for days, COVID-19 is still a major concern, and we're locked inside our houses still because of Shelter in Place orders. Audra and Chelsi check-in and discuss the hot-mess-express that is 2020.

Today is the 3rd anniversary of the Tubbs Fire in Sonoma/Lake/Napa County.  It started October 8, 2017 very late in the evening and pretty much the course of Audra's life. Join her in this short episode for a glimpse of what she learned and how she felt as she experienced this critical incident.

Wikipedia describes the Tubbs Fire as follows:

The Tubbs Fire was a fire storm that ravaged Northern California during October 2017. At the time, the Tubbs Fire was the most destructive wildfire in California history, burning parts of Napa, Sonoma, and Lake counties, inflicting its damage to the city of Santa Rosa. Its destructiveness was surpassed only a year later by the Camp Fire of 2018. The Tubbs Fire was one of more than a dozen large fires that broke out in early October 2017, which were simultaneously burning in eight Northern California counties, in what was called the "Northern California firestorm."[9] By the time of its containment on October 31, the fire was estimated to have burned 36,810 acres (149 km2); at least 22 people were believed to have been killed in Sonoma County by the fire.

The fire started near Tubbs Lane in the rural northern part of Calistoga, in Napa County. It destroyed more than 5,643 structures,half of which were homes in Santa Rosa. Santa Rosa's economic loss from the Tubbs Fire was estimated at $1.2 billion (2017 USD), with five percent of the city's housing stock destroyed.The Tubbs Fire also incurred an additional $100 million in fire suppression costs.

After an investigation lasting over a year, the California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection (Cal Fire) determined that the Tubbs Fire was "caused by a private electrical system adjacent to a residential structure" and that there had been no violations of the state's Public Resources Code.

In this episode, we explore the vital connection between self-care and the emotional challenges faced by spouses of first responders, especially the loneliness and disappointment that can come with their unpredictable schedules.

Joining us is Destiny Morris, a licensed marriage and family therapist and the founder of Destiny Morris Marriage and Family Therapy. Destiny holds a Bachelor’s degree in Theology from her time in New Zealand, a second Bachelor’s in Sociology and Applied Psychology from UC Santa Barbara, and a Master’s in Clinical Psychology from Antioch College. She has extensive experience working with first responders, having trained in EMDR and earned her First Responder Counselor Certification.

Destiny’s journey with her firefighter boyfriend, along with her professional background, led her to create the Instagram community @on_being_resilient. She believes resilience is a skill we can all develop as we better understand ourselves and our first responder partners.

In this conversation, we dive into how prioritizing self-care not only supports our well-being but also strengthens our relationships with those who serve on the front lines. Destiny shares her insights on balancing personal and professional life, the importance of empathy and warmth in therapy, and how humor can play a role in navigating the challenges unique to first responder families.

Follow Destiny

website: https://www.destinymorristherapy.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/on_being_resilient/

Enroll in Destiny’s Course: Thriving Through Fire—The Survival Guide Every Firefighter Spouse Needs

In this episode we sit down with James Boomhower from @Stay_fit4duty and discuss how first responders can best integrate their partners in their career by avoiding commonly occurring mistakes.

James is a Critical Care Transport Specialist- paramedic with Boston MedFlight and the founder of StayFit4Duty.  The mission of Fit for duty is to help medical professionals treat their mental health with the same dedication and tenacity as they treat the physical health of those they took an oath to help.  

 
Fit for Duty has three goals: 

1. Support and advocate for the need for better mental health and resilience education and practice in the medical profession. 
   
   
2. Advocate for and help teams create peer support programs within their institutions. 
   
   
3. Help align individuals in need with members of the mental health profession who understand medical professionals, their world view, and ideals in a way that gives them the best mental healthcare possible.