Dear Mattsons with Jeff and Terra

Yelling works in the short term, but eventually children will ignore the yelling. It is ok to take a parent time-out and calm yourself before you respond to a situation. Join us as we talk through the ACT method and encourage you to acknowledge your child’s emotion, communicate a limit, and target an alternative. 

Check out these similar resources: 

• How do I keep from losing my temper and yelling at my children?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6I_X4SKQUI&t=4s
• Visuals over verbals: https://www.christianparenting.org/articles/visuals-over-verbals/
• 5 ways to be a better parent and not repeat your parent’s mistakes: https://www.christianparenting.org/articles/5-ways-to-be-a-better-parent-and-not-repeat-your-parents-mistakes/

The teenage years are a developmental stage that require a lot of patience and grace. But, we do not want to normalize or tolerate that teens talk back to their parents. You are helping your children develop a life skill and how we talk to each other is important. Join us as we give you tips on how to react when your tween or teens talk back.

Check out these similar resources: 

• Helping moms raise confident daughters: https://www.cpguides.org/
• Practical help for parents raising teens: https://www.christianparenting.org/articles/practical-help-for-parents-raising-teens/
• How to avoid power struggles with your children: https://www.christianparenting.org/articles/how-to-avoid-power-struggles-with-your-children/
• Decide to discipline: Tweens and teens: https://www.christianparenting.org/articles/decide-discipline-tweens-teens/

Being consistent and following through on what you say are so important in parenting. They are the keys to building trust and help children feel safe. Join us as we give you practical tips to get your child’s attention and let them know you mean what you say. 

Check out these similar resources: 

• Help! I am always saying “No” to my toddler: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_zYBI0w5Bs&list=PLdPzQ_cUwCbRc-MQ40KL3a6ze06CiY38l&index=19&t=5s
• Raising rule benders, breakers and believers: https://www.christianparenting.org/articles/raising-rule-benders-breakers-and-believers/
• Raising boys with boundaries and freedoms: https://www.christianparenting.org/podcasts-post/raising-boys-with-boundaries-and-freedoms/

There is really not a compelling reason for our kids to have social media. The data is clear and there is a direct correlation to all of the mental health issues kids are struggling with and social media. Join us as we talk through why it is important to regulate the overwhelming pressures our kids are facing today by delaying social media as long as possible.

Check out these similar resources: 

• Social media, screens, and the overindulgence of information: https://www.christianparenting.org/articles/social-media-screens-and-the-overindulgence-of-information/
• What if you kids already have screens, and you’re having second thoughts?: https://www.christianparenting.org/articles/what-if-your-kids-already-have-screens-and-youre-having-second-thoughts/
• Helping your son navigate the digital age: https://www.christianparenting.org/articles/helping-your-son-navigate-the-digital-age/

How do we address gender pronouns and sexuality with our kids? As professionals in leadership and therapy we have been processing this with parents and kids for many years. We will encourage you to stay curious, research topics as questions arise and step into these conversations with your children. Your voice as the parent is the key factor in how your children will react to these issues, so remember to approach sensitive topics with truth, grace and gentleness.

Check out these similar resources: 

• How to approach transgender topics with your teen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_EPogLO-W4&list=PLdPzQ_cUwCbRc-MQ40KL3a6ze06CiY38l&index=24&t=26s
• Embodied: Transgender Identities, The Church, and What the Bible Has to Say: https://www.amazon.com/Embodied-Transgender-Identities-Church-Bible/dp/0830781226
• Helping moms raise confident daughters: https://www.cpguides.org/
• Meet them with Jesus: Responding biblically to our kids’ problems: https://www.christianparenting.org/articles/meet-them-with-jesus-responding-biblically-to-our-kids-problems/
• Talking to your kids about dating and relationships: https://www.christianparenting.org/articles/talking-with-your-kids-about-dating-and-relationships/

God wired us all differently and some children just need a few friends and others prefer a large circle of friends. Join us as we talk through practical ideas to help your child build lasting friendships. We will also encourage you to affirm your child so that they feel known and seen and will in turn be better at engaging with others.

Check out these similar resources: 

• The friendship fix
• Three character qualities that set your kids up for success
• Navigating friendships with our kids
• Living Wholehearted Episodes 2-5, 140-141
• Helping moms raise confident daughters

As a parent, we want to equip our children and be the first voice they hear on topics like sexuality and gender. Join us as we talk through options when it comes to opting in or out of public school health curriculum and how to know if it’s too much too soon. We will encourage you to consider your children’s differences, what they may be vulnerable to and to know the curriculum being taught.

Check out these similar resources: 

• When should I talking to my kids about sex?
• How to tackle tough topics with your kids
• Talking about sex: big words for little ears
• Helping moms raise confident daughters

We want to protect our children from school bullies, but the reality is the greatest defense against bullies is building up our child’s confidence and sense of identity. Join us as we talk through how to coach your child to have healthy boundaries, ways to build their confidence and how to identify red, yellow and green light relationships.

Check out these similar resources: 

• Teaching kids about boundaries
• Try these helpful parenting phrases
• Back to blahs, blues and bullies too
• Helping moms raise confident daughters

The most important thing to remember if your child says “I hate you” is not to react or take it personally. We all say things we don’t mean when we are tired, hungry or afraid, and we put these emotions on those we feel safest with. We will remind you to ask questions, not let your children’s behaviors dictate how you love them, and to get professional help if this is an ongoing issue.

God created your child and knows the plans he has for them. When we get our perspective as parents in check it helps lead our children in peace. It is important to remind our children to work hard and do their best, but who they are as a person is separate from what they do. We will remind you to frame this conversation as an adventure, remember that there are a lot of options besides college, and that ultimately we can’t mess up God’s plan.

Check out these similar resources: 

• A word to parents of college-bound kids
• Return to sender
• 3 promises for your college bound child