Dear Midlife...

Today we welcome to the podcast Lucas Lowe who is a partner, dad, boss, Life Coach and CEO of Dorado Consulting Group.

Lucas shares with us his wide range of experiences and expertise that include: Aviation Maintenance, Management, Team Building, Sober Living, Bicycles, Vanlife, Progress and Productivity, Teaching/Training/Coaching, Real Estate Investing, as well as Housing and Community Development, AND at the same time he reminds us that we are so much more than our careers and skill sets.

Lucas has survived drug and alcohol addiction, facing felony drug charges, the loss of a lifetime career in the aviation industry (due to no fault of his own) and nearly losing his marriage. It was a fall to his rock bottom in which Lucas realized that he was in a life or death situation and wanted to choose life. Perhaps you've been there too? Maybe not the proverbial "rock bottom" an addict experiences. But, I guarantee each of you out there in our audience have felt this way at some point in your life. You look at yourself and don't like who you’ve become. You feel stuck and know you need to make a shift..but how?

Lucas is a Certified NLP practitioner and Life Coach who will share with us his journey as he overcame each challenge. He provides critical tools that will help you reevaluate your traumas in a new light so you can overcome them. He'll recommend ways in which you can realign with who you are at your core (not in the way others conveniently categorize you) to find true identity and inner peace.

In this episode, Lucas shares with us the following lessons"

1. People are so much more complex that what you see at face value
2. Be open minded to take as much advice and wisdom from others who have walked the path before you as possible.
3. Look to the personas and identity of others you admire to fill the space until you form your own identity of self
4. Revisit your identity every couple of years and keep it detached from the external ideals that have traditionally defined us (such as jobs or skill sets)
5. Write down your stories and get them out of your head. When you do, you can reframe old narratives and look at them in a new way.
6. Keep a journal focused on ESP…Effort, Success and Progress. Document one thing you put extra effort into, one success and one thing in which you made progress each day.

Please leave us a review and kindly let us know what you enjoy about this podcast. We feel so strongly about the message we are putting out into the world…that the midlife identity "crisis" doesn't have to be a crisis. We hope these messages are resonating with you! Let us know how!

You can find Lucas at:

Email: [email protected]

IG | @lowielowe

Lucas Lowe on Facebook

While Heather Wylde Smith is an Ethical Biz Coach with a passion for helping online coaches sell their services without feeling like they are selling their souls, she’s also adept at deep transformational coaching through structured journaling, anger work, and energy healing. In this episode we focus in on how Heather has triumphed over breast cancer and navigated a challenging relationship with a narcissistic father and has been able to reinvent her life at 46. She shares with us her approach to journaling as a tool for healing past traumas and old wounds with a unique stubborness so that you can live a life you love.

1. If you believe you are in a narcissistic relationship, evaluate the behaviors
2. Use structured journaling as a way to heal
   1. Name of person you're upset with
   2. Identify the observable behaviors to which you are having a strong emotional response
   3. What else does this incident remind you of?
   4. Name the emotions that are showing up for you
   5. How did you contribute, without taking responsibility to the other person's behavior
   6. What will you do differently and/or what resources do you need to make this change?
3. Be stubborn in your healing…try everything until you find the right fit or solution for you
4. Surround yourself with people who are on a growth path

Mentioned in the podcast:  Dr. Ramani on Healing from narcissism

Email address: [email protected]

Website | Heather Wylde Smith

Facebook | Heather Wylde Smith

Online Entrepreneur's Survival Guide on Amazon

Trisha Gudka is a Happiness coach….but, she wasn't always happy. No, ladies, when Trisha reached 40, the age where many of us groan feeling that life is half over, Trisha sighed that she was ONLY 40 and couldn't believe how many more years of life she would have to endure. Like many women in midlife, Trisha had suffered her fair share of trauma over the years that included sexual abuse and even assault that sent her into a depression in her late 20’s.  She was 42 when she decided to reclaim her life. The truth is it took many years before she even realized that she needed help. 

You may know what that's like ladies….It's like you're going through the motions of your life and you gradually lose your happiness without even realizing it until one day you can’t find a real smile or a genuine laugh. Trisha came to realize that every day brought with it a growing feeling of emptiness. She was surrounded by people but felt completely alone. She knew she had to find a way out!  Thankfully, Trisha was able to overcome depression one day at a time with guidance from doctors and self-perserverance and now helps women to overcome depression using the system that worked for her. She provides actionable exercises and strategies to fall in love with exactly who you are - mind and body, so that her clients can live happy and fulfilled lives.

In today's episode, Trisha teaches us to:

1. Know your "why" healing is a journey and knowing your why will give you the drive to persevere
2. Be responsible for your own happiness. Your significant other, your children and others around you are not.
3. Always look for the other story you can tell about any situation
4. Embrace the small moments…happiness is not a destination. It lives in these small moments accumulated over time.
5. Every day write down one thing you are grateful for about life and one thing you are grateful for about yourself

Trisha Gudka_Facebook

IG @trishgudka

Click this link to access Trisha's  5 Steps to Leave Depression Behind course.

Allyson Roberts knows what it takes to make it in this world. As a young woman, she found herself homeless, pregnant, and forced to live in her car. However, Allyson was able to persevere and harness the power of adversity to overcome her circumstances and thrive. Now she helps others do the same.

Her system of Personalized Science, the combination of brain work and spirituality, combined with her grace and sense of humor has made Allyson a highly sought after coach, speaker, and business collaborator. Recently, Allyson was recognized by Feedspot, a Forbes affiliate, in their designation of Top 100 Coaches in the World. 

Allyson is the founder of Outrageous Freedom and best-selling programs such as Painless Pivots to Power and Unapologetic Power. Her book, The Spiritual Journey: The Part No One Talks About, is available wherever books are sold.

You can find Allyson on her website 

If you're enjoying the Dear Midlife Podcast, please leave us a review

Trinity and I are really focusing our attention on the idea of identity. So many of us in midlife go through the proverbial "Identity Crisis" where we feel lost, stuck and don't know who we are or where we're going.  Our guest today helps us to get beyond feeling stuck and teaches us to re-write our own stories by knowing our strengths and skills and applying them in new ways. Gloria Coppola has been divorced, widowed, struggled through a narcissistic relationship, built a successful business while raising  2 kids only to be embezzled by a crooked accountant who took advantage of her while she was mourning the death of her husband. She has overcome, grown stronger and risen above it all.  She has healed from emotional and physical trauma and reinvented herself time and time and time again.  Gloria is proof to us women in midlife that the only limits we have are those limits that are self-imposed. She encourages us to own our own power, take control of our lives and get off our asses and make life happen. She reminds us that life, is what we make it and that power comes with inspired action. Ladies, you are in control of your own destinies, so get out there and make it happen.

In today's episode Gloria reminds us to: 

1. Know what you want to align with
2. Take stock of the skills and capabilities you have.  Open your mind to how you can use these skills in other places and other ways to rise above your circumstances.
3. Focus on moving forward, don't look back
4. Learn to ask for help
5. Take a true honest look at yourself in the mirror and OWN who you are
6. Listen to and follow-through with your intuition because it will lead you to and prepare you for things to come

You can find Gloria at:

Gloria Coppola_Facebook Page

Gloria Coppola Publishing Website or Gloria Coppola Website

Check out her new book called "Too Many Goodbyes" on Amazon

Too Many Goodbyes ON PRE-SALE NOW at BARNES & NOBLE

[email protected]

Gloria offers a free intentional journal writing course

and is taking group on a writing retreat to Italy in August 2023

Kendra Beavis is the Founder, and CEO of the brand strategy studio, MOKA Creative. Although her business has been successful, her proudest achievement has been her personal growth. She survived a tumultuous marriage, battled with several addictions as well as navigated the path through single-motherhood.

Each of these moments was a fork in the road for her. At each point, she could have turned to despair and darkness. It would have been easy to give up. However, she didn’t just persist… she thrived! Kendra has learned how to use her biggest challenges as fortifiers — Her traumas have become catalysts for radical growth to move forward and live her best life.

Now she wants to share her “Brand New You Method” with women who are looking to move past their trauma and start living their best life. Together with her clients, she walks them through the steps to figuring out who they want to be, how they want to feel every day, and what they want their lives to look like. Using the BNY method they are able to find clarity, confidence, and inspiration to take aligned action.

Through Kendra's stories of her own trials and triumphs we learned:

1. Take the things that break you down and use them to learn and grow
2. Reinvention starts with identifying how do you want to feel everyday and what do you want a typical day to be like?
3. Create a vision board for who you want to be by "cherry picking" the characteristics and attributes of others you admire. Then "try on" new personas.
4. Discover and align to your personal core values
5. Don’t be afraid to reach out, tell people your story and ask for help
6. Try something new. If you don't like it, don't do it again. But, test new theories and explore new selves
7. Forgive yourself and when you have a bad day, create your own personal "recovery kit"

Follow Kendra on IG

Guided Meditation

Brand New You Program at discounted pricing! Hurry and Sign Up!

USE PROMO CODE MIDLIFE

Our guest today, Cindy Drummond, found herself in a unique situation. She woke up one day to find her, then, significant other was being arrested for some serious crimes.  In the blink of an eye, Cindy's world had been turned upside down. She fled the situation with her two daughters in tow and had to start again from the basement of her parent's house. She'd lost trust in others and faith in herself.

But, these moments are what define our character.  Perhaps, some of you in our audience  have similarly find yourselves feeling a bit lost amidst significant life shifts and wonder what to do next. Cindy learned quickly that action creates momentum and  self-imposed goals are the catalyst to action. In a short period of time, Cindy founded a network of women by forming the Women Only Weekend and found a new tribe.  She also boldly went on 50 dates in 52 weeks and, well…you'll have to listen to the podcast to find out how that experiment went! You can also read about it in her book "Reflections from the Dating Pool. A Story About Resilience, the Importance of Finding your Tribe and the Power of Falling in Love with Yourself." Cindy could have easily portrayed the victim in this situation. But she, instead, chose to uncover her own  personal interests and desires through journaling and meditation and, then, pursued these daily fueled by courage and determination to face and triumph over the things that made her most uncomfortable. To many, this path may sounds difficult…the reward, however, is a renewed trust and love for herself. By having the strength to face her own fears and discomforts, she saved her own life.

In this episode Cindy teaches us to:

1. Find your "tribe" and spend time with people who lift you up and empower you
2. Do what terrifies you
3. Put as much into the experience as somebody else is putting into the experience when building relationships with others
4. Practice gratitude, listen to your own instincts and learn to trust yourself
5. Sometimes you have to go through some "yucky stuff" in order to find what brings you joy
6. Use self-imposed challenges as a catalyst for action

If you're enjoying the Dear Midlife Podcast, please leave us a review or send us an email at [email protected] to let us know of topics that may be of interest to you.

Our guest today is Mindy Gorman-Plutzer, a certified functional nutritionist, lifestyle practitioner and eating psychology coach with over 25 years of experience. Mindy is passionate about helping others recover from eating disorders and create a healthier lifestyle. Mindy’s approach to eating disorders tackles the root cause of the issue, and emphasizes that how and why you eat is just as important as what you eat.  Through her integrative approach, she also looks at the impact disordered eating has on one’s daily life, digestion and hormones.

Her life experience and training inspired her to create a framework that combines functional nutrition, positive psychology, and mind/body science called the Freedom Promise. She has established a compassionate resolution to physical and emotional challenges resulting from chronic and complex health issues, as they relate to Eating Disorders, specifically for women in midlife. 

This message is so powerful for me because I've had an eating disorder for over 20 years and I've come to realize that I've had such a difficult time overcoming this disorder because so much of who I am is entangled in what I put into my body. I associate my worth with how I look and have a skewed view that when I eat something outside of my strict protocols I will somehow become unlovable. In this episode, Mindy helps us to reveal these misconceptions for what they are and help us take small steps toward recovery.

Mindy is the author of The Freedom Promise: 7 Steps To Stop Fearing What Food Will Do TO You and Start Embracing What It Can Do FOR You and provides us a wealth of information in this interview including:

1. The limbic part of your brain remembers that when you're born, you are nurtured and felt safe by eating.
2. Doing recovery and being recovered are two different things
3. Stop fearing what food will do to you and embrace what it will do for you
4. F.R.E.E.D.O.M is
   1. Find you're enough
   2. Rest and digest
   3. Eat when you're hungry and stop when you're not
   4. Eat mindfully
   5. Do something everyday to make your body feel alive
   6. Only eat whole foods and
   7. Make sure you surround yourself with what truly nourishes
5. We need to learn to trust our bodies. We will never love what we don't trust or trust what we don't love
6. There are 3 kinds of emotional eating…and these don’t have to be negative. We just have to look at the "why" behind each. Recovery starts with awareness and curiosity.

You can find Mindy at the following:

The Freedom Promise_Website

[email protected]

IG @thefreedompromise

If you're enjoying the Dear Midlife podcast and relate to these topics, please share your story with us at [email protected] or leave us a review.

Today we have an extraordinary conversation with Brian Mattson. He is here to discuss with us Attachment Styles and how they affect our adult relationships. Attachment styles refer to the particular way in which an individual relates to other people. The style of attachment is formed at the very beginning of life, and once established, it is a style that stays with you and plays out  in how you relate in intimate relationships and in how you parent your children in the current day. As a psychotherapist he explores how attachment styles and trauma (with big T and little t) limit intimacy in romantic and personal relationships.

Brian says love is always in the listening, and insecure attachment and trauma decrease our ability to listen. As a result, he spends most of his time helping clients regulate their nervous systems so they can really listen and stay present. In this episode, Brian takes us through an exercise in which we tap into how to begin to regulate our nervous system and truly hear and honor what our bodies are telling us. 

Brian is a licensed marriage and family therapist. His work is influenced by almost 20 years in private practice, A 25+ year Meditation Practice in-depth Reading of Eastern Philosophy, and Extensive World Travel. He has a Master's Degree in Clinical Psychology and a Bachelor’s Degree in History. In today's episode, we explore:

1. Attachment styles as a framework that is laid over the true self that are based on how we are related to or not related to by our primary care given between the ages of 0-3.
2. The simplicity of life when we know how we want to feel…then the choices we make either help us to expand into that feeling or contract away from it.
3. How to grow spiritually by increasing our capacity to bear discomfort and staying in contact with self
4. Asking yourself what a "securely" attached person do in this situation?
5. Listening to your impulses and inhibitions…
6. Finding the "no's". What are you saying yes to that should be a "no", honor what you need.

Your Brain on Love by Stan Tatkin PSYD

If you're enjoying the Dear Midlife podcast, please leave us a review!

The tools we discuss in this podcast are:

Release Writing

Body Compass

Naming an emotion

And they will help you navigate the emotions that come with letting go of old stories and personas so you can find your true self and live authentically.

When we reach midlife, we've spent so much time playing the roles of  mom, wife, sister or dauther, it is easy to lose sight of our identity and value. If this is where you find yourself lately, perhaps, feeling lost, We're confident that this interview with Hallie will provide you insight as to how to move through your emotions, let go of old stories and rediscover your identity. If you're enjoying the Dear Midlife podcast, please share your favorite episode with a friend and leave us a review.

In this episode, we learn:

1. Find your own way to Meditate. What activity or experience puts you fully in focus?
2. Leverage what is innate and honor who you are. But, don't let your introversion or extraversion become an excuse
3. You HAVE to FEEL your feelings. You really only feel your emotions in your body briefly (for about 90 seconds). It the stories we tell ourselves that cause us to stay in an emotional state.
4. If necessary, defer feeling your emotions to a specific time, then honor the emotion, journal, write about it allow it to come up and pass at that time.
5. Going through your emotions gets easier over time. But, you have to do it in order to appreciate the happy moments.

Books

Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink

Heal Your Body by Louise Hay

FB | How to Single Without Lonliness

Gretchen Rubin | The Four Tendancies Book

Jonathan Fields | Sparked Book

Assessments

Gretchen Rubin | 4 Tendancies

Sparketype Assessment

Human Design

Hallie Hudson Peavey, Owner

▶︎ Visit Our Website! 

Hallie Hudson Communication Strategies