Dear Midlife...

Aga Lawrynowicz is a mom of two school-age girls and a stepmom of two college boys. After becoming a mother and discovering that nothing about motherhood went as predicted, Aga dedicated years to her personal healing and realized that empowering moms and creating community are her passions. In her 40s, she quit her oil and gas consulting career to go back to school and receive a coaching certificate.

Aga left Poland at 22 and has lived in five countries on two continents before she moved to Seattle in 2011.

As a life coach, Aga is committed to deconstructing the common image of motherhood promoted by our culture. She helps moms find ease, settle into their maternal identity, and get grounded in their feminine power.

Trinity and I have become fascinated with this idea of shedding the personas you've assumed throughout your life that may no longer serve you and finding who you are at the core.  Aga provides us tips on how to do just that:

1. Our first identity that we acquire is by pursuing some kind of validation from the external world and we do this for survival. But, it may not be who we ARE.
2. Your identity needs to be rooted in your values, not beliefs
3. Ask yourself "What do I need RIGHT NOW?"
4. You can control your circumstances, but you have a choice of what you’re going to do with what you have.
5. Take what you can get. Self-Care doesn't need to take 5 hours. Take just five minutes to step into the sun or breathe while you fill the pasta pot with water. It all adds up.
6. There are no wrong choices…it's really about how aligned you are with your choices

You can find Aga at:

Website: Choose Clarity

IG @ChooseClarity

The Power Mom Method Program

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Terrie Vanover is a Divorce Healing Strategist who went through a horrendous divorce herself and ended up homeless, broke, and broken financially, emotionally and even physically after being hit by a van and suffering numerous injuries. Now she’s living her dream life helping others to heal after divorce and has even created a relationship with her ex where they get along great, hang out, and do everything to support each other and their beautiful children.  Now, she works with others to heal their traumas and do the inner work and forge new, healthy relationships. She use actionable exercises and strategies that can be implemented in real life to quickly increase your self worth so you can no longer be triggered, set healthy boundaries, and feel at peace no matter what is going on externally. 

In this episode, Terrie shares with us the following strategies

1. Healing includes "consciously surrendering" to your feelings. You have to feel your feelings in order to move through them
2. You cannot solve internal problems with external solutions. It requires mindfulness practices and reparenting yourself
3. For many people, the red flags we see in new relationships…feel like home and become comfortable. So we are attracted to those people because its easier to stay in that space
4. Meditation can help you achieve a state of mind in which you can respond and not react.
5. Adopting new and healthy rituals are important because they can help rewire your brain
6. Use forgiveness to release toxic emotions. It is for yourself. It doesn't not mean absolution…A forgiveness letter that you write (for yourself only) will help you to release negative thoughts and is a great place to start

You can find Terrie at:

Choosing to Rise Website

https://www.facebook.com/terrie.vanover.9

IG @vanoverterrie

YouTube TerrieVanover.tube

Gayle Lynn is a relationship coach focused on “What do you do when your partner wants to have sex with another person?” or maybe YOU want to have sex with someone else? She has a passion to empower women to make educated choices about their relationships. She has personally experienced her spouse coming to her and expressing his desire to have sex with someone else. So many people will go out and cheat on their partner when there is a better way to handle the situation. Creating open and honest communication is key in these situations. Big feelings come up and many people don’t know how to process them. Having someone who has no agenda and creates a space where there will be no shame or guilt is what her clients experience. 

Through Gayle Lynn’s experience she learned how messy relationships can be when someone is expressing their sexual desires. She helps to navigate family and cultural beliefs, communication pitfalls, processing emotions and more. Her desire is that her clients will be able to evolve their relationships into what they desire and achieve inner peace. For some this may be creating more intimacy in the marriage, opening the marriage and for some it may be a divorce. Whichever decision is made she can guide you through it without judgment or an agenda. She is trained in the Chopra method of coaching and uses her C.A.R.E method to facilitate her coaching style. 

In this episode, she will share with us valuabe tips and resources such as: 

1. Find out what you want within your marriage and then find ways to consciously pursue what makes you both feel happy and supported. Keep the conversation open.
2. Learn to love yourself in your own body so you can feel empowered to make decisions for yourself within the frame of your marriage.
3. There can be no shame, guilt or judgment for getting to what you want for your life.
4. Those with whom we have relationships in our lives can become a mirror in which we see ourselves and learn more about who we are.
5. Relationships are just two energetic beings, sharing themselves
6. Jealously is just a reflection of what you seen in them that you desire in yourself
7. C.A.R.E Method | Communication, Attachment Style, Really Understanding Yourself, Emotions

You can find Gayle Lynn at 

email: [email protected]

Facebook Relationships Evolving with Gayle Lynn

Book Recommendations

The Ethical Slut

Slow Sex

Dr. Ashley Funk is the Owner and Founder of Paradise Psychology in Fort Worth, Texas. As a Licensed Psychologist, Dr. Funk specializes in the treatment of anxiety disorders and helping caregivers manage unwanted behaviors displayed by their children. She is also passionate about helping her clients improve their relationships through open, effective communication and healthy boundaries.  Here are some of her best parenting tips:

1. Catch you child being good more that you catch them being bad. Use a 5:1 ratio of positive feedback to the negative. Rewarding a child doesn't have to cost money
2. Self-Care is VITAL. You have to care for yourself FIRST, before you can care for others.
3. Let your child know they can talk to you about anything and everything.
4. Social media has been proven to have a negative impact on mental health. Have a handle on your child's access to social media. Know what apps they're using. Know their logins. Know who they are talking to. Limit time and access to certain technologies, when necessary.
5. Try to limit technology 60-90 minutes before bedtime.
6. Time out rule of thumb is the child's age + 1 (a 4 year old would sit in time out 5 minutes). If in public, cut the time in half. Know that when you're disciplining a problematic behavior, your child's behavior may get worse before it get's better.

linkedin.com/in/ashley-funk-tx38228

IG: @paradisepsychologypllc

Stephanie Hickey is a certified sex, love and relationship coach with a special interest in relationship dynamics and personal responsibility within one’s relationship. She coaches individuals on topics related to sex, love and relationships and is beginning to move into coaching couples in session but she has a soft spot for the the one-on-one nature of working with individuals and witnessing them become empowered and transforming their own lives.

She has been with her current partner for 10 years and they are raising 2 daughters together with a third one on the way! The partnership itself is what prompted Stephanie to become interested in relationship coaching because she quickly realized that the very conscious and intentional nature of this partnership was something she did not experience in previous relationships and also not seeing amongst many other relationships.

She has found great meaning in being a witness and ally to those who also want to work their way through challenges, patterns, blocks and boredom.  In this episode, Stephanie teaches us:

1. Sit with your partner and allow each person to first discuss  "what are your fears" for two minutes each without interruption from the other person (stream of consciousness), then "what do you love about me" and finally "what do you desire" to open up healthy conversation. Each person will answer each question.
2. Take the quiz and get you know  both your and your partner's erotic blue print.
3. Find ways to reflect on what drew you to your partner and look for opportunities to recreate that connection
4. Try to vision with your partner what you want your every day life to look like. Dare to dream the impossible. The conversation will elevate your thinking and give you something to work towards
5. Journaling is a great tool to help you get out of your head and get clarity of thought
6. To add a little spice back into the relationship…do something you've never done before in the bedroom.  You will feel different… You will see your partner differently…

You can find Stephanie at

Additional Resources:

https://www.youtube.com/c/laylamartintv

https://laylamartin.com/ 

Emily Nagoski's book Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life. 

This book talks in depth about the female sexuality and why and how sexuality works all grounded in fantastic research. If you've never investigated what turns you on and what turns you off (brakes and accelerators), or if you wonder about spontaneous arousal vs. responsive arousal, this book will definitely change your life. (her website also contains free quizzes to learn more about your sexual temperament and sexual cues: https://www.emilynagoski.com/come-as-you-are-worksheets)

Azaria Menezes aka The Pussy Fairy is a successful Sex and Relationship coach that works with women, moms, and couples to bust through sexual or emotional blocks, so that they can feel turned on, ecstatic, and orgasmic in and out of the bedroom. Azaria is fueled by a passion for supporting women and couples to be their authentic selves during intimacy and in their relationships so that there is way more room for pleasure, connection, and desire. She loves supporting her clients to re-ignite that spark back into their sexuality or relationships so that they have the capacity to fall more in love with themselves and/or each other.

Azaria has been featured in Cosmopolitan multiple times both online and print, Mindbodygreen, Thrive Global, Kinkly, Giddy, Yahoo, Jack and Gill adult, multiple podcasts, and has hosted workshops at various Universities.

She also hosts the podcast: "Getting Intimate" where she brings practical ways to invite more pleasure into your body relationships and sex life. You can find Azaria on Instagram @azaria.menezes

If you're enjoying Dear Midlife, please subscribe and leave a review! 

• Does Sex Require an emotional connection?
• Why does society dictate that a monogamous relationship is the only approach?
• How do we change the social or even internal narrative about what is ACCEPTABLE and what is taboo in dating and relationships?
• How do we create a space for ourselves and for our partner in which  we can openly communicate our needs to ensure that intimacy is a pleasurable experience for both parties…and then
• How can we reconcile these choices with own morals, values and beliefs?

Dr. Mariza Snyder is a functional medical practitioner, women’s hormone expert and the author of eight books: The newest book, The Essential Oils Menopause Solution, focuses on solutions for women in perimenopause and menopause and the #1 National Bestselling book, The Essential Oils Hormone Solution, focuses on balancing women’s hormones naturally.  Other bestselling books are: The Smart Mom’s Guide to Essential Oils and The DASH Diet Cookbook.  

For the past twelve years, she has lectured at wellness centers, conferences, and corporations on hormone health, essential oils, nutrition, and detoxification.  She has been featured on Dr. Oz, Oprah Magazine, Fox News Health, MindBodyGreen and many publications. Dr. Mariza is also the host of the top rated Essentially You Podcast, (with over 3.5 million downloads) designed to empower women to become the CEO of their health. She is here with us today to have a candid conversation about what the heck is happening to our bodies as we face peri-menopause and menopause…what are the signs and symptoms and what steps we can take right now to see quick results with things like weight gain, exhaustion and brainfog.

Check out her website, drmariza.com, for women's hormone tips, including recipes and remedies.

Check out Essentially You Podcast here: Essentially You Podcast in iTunes

SOCIAL:

• FB: @drmarizasnyder

https://www.facebook.com/drmarizasnyder/

• Twitter: @drmariza
• Insta: @drmariza

https://instagram.com/drmariza/

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/drmarizasnyder

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/drmariza/

Desmond Blackburn spent 15 years selling technologies and helping companies define their organizational strategies and achieve their goals. But, then one day he got stuck and couldn't move forward. He knew what he was capable of, he knew what he had to do, but just couldn't get it done. So, he decided to "wave the white flag" and hired his own personal life coach and got done in 4 months what he'd been trying to accomplish for 5 years.  Needless to say, his coach helped him to lay out a strategy and hold him accountable for that strategy. Helping others in the same way appealed to Desmond and he shifted his career trajectory to take on the role of life coach. Leveraging a life coach can be a powerful experience to help individuals see their blind spots, identify goals and accelerate achievement of those goals.

90% of Desmond's clients are women just like you. Highly successful, juggling ALL the balls and doing an amazing job…but, who might just feel a bit stuck.  In this interview, he identifies the role "perfectionism" plays in standing in the way of progress and gives practical tips to overcome this unsustainable state of mind. He reminds us that what once worked, may no longer serve you and that progress is more important than perfect.

These recovering perfectionists/"Type A" gals loved the juicy tips and bits of wisdom Desmond shares with us in this episode:

1. What once worked for you may no longer serve you
2. Perfectionism is NOT sustainable
3. A healthy desire for excellence is NOT the same thing as "perfectionism" The person with the healthy desire for excellence values progress over perfection.. A perfectionist tells themselves only when I am putting the arrow through the bullseye every time can I be happy.
4. The message we are telling ourselves "If I'm perfect you will love me" is not consistent with what society values, which is authenticity.
5. When we lean into being our authentic selves…that is where we find community. There will always be someone who will say…man, you're dealing with THAT…? Me too!
6. Engage a coach or a therapist for a fresh set of eyes to help you see the sides of yourself you cannot see.
7. You get to determine who is "qualified" to offer you feedback/advice. Sometimes relationships come into your life for a reason and a season.  Maybe its time to "take new applications"

To find Desmond...go to his website at

coachdesmond.com to claim a 1-hr. complimentary session.

Also...check out his

E-Course titled "I Hate Sales"

and his book titled

"How to Fire the Devil as Your Life Coach" (availabe as an audio book, paperback or e-book)

Bri Collins is the owner of BCRN Aesthetics, one of Houston's leading advanced aesthetic injectors.  Bri is a Registered Nurse and uses her experience and extensive training in leading her team to be some of the best in the industry for natural and believable injectable services. BCRN Aesthetics is always evolving and leverages the newest procedures with the team's dedication to education, medical training and friendly personalities to make the services  and professionalism this med-spa offers highly sought-after in the Houston area. Bri is not only an entrepreneur, but also embarking on midlife motherhood. Please join us as Bri shares her journey to being one of the leading providers of injectable services and provides us key tips for using these techniques safely to look and feel our best. You can find Bri and book an appointment by going to her website at: https://www.bcrnaesthetics.com/  or find her on IG @bcrnaesthetics