Dear NICU Mama

Because the letters that mamas write in are so remarkable, we wanted to be able to offer them in another tangible way. And what better way than to have them read aloud here on the podcast? Our first audible letter is read by the one and only Jakarta. If you'd like to see photos of their journey in the NICU and how far they have come today, we have her letter linked at the bottom of the description. We hope that her letter offers immense amounts of hope to you today!

"Dear NICU Mama, 

When you feel alone, remember it is not your fault. Being a NICU mama is isolating. This was not the path we set out on or ever imagined. It's definitely not the path we would have chosen for our children. We as mothers were not meant to love our babies through the hard plastic walls of an incubator, wait days or weeks to hold them, or watch them fight for their life. The ideal image of pregnancy and birth has been sold to us our entire life, and most of us never knew any different. Straying from these images makes us feel alone.

It's not your fault it didn’t go the way it should have, or how you dreamed for it to go. Not being able to relate to mamas without a NICU stay isn’t your fault. Explaining why your child came early and isn't home isn’t your fault. You think of all the things you wish you would have done differently or you blame yourself. But mama, it is not your fault and you are not alone.

There is nothing we wouldn't do for our NICU baby and sometimes that makes you feel alone. The hours spent at their bedside wishing for them to come home. The beeps of the machines that now take over your dreams. Even when you go through those restless nights away from your little one worried that you'll get a call from the NICU, you are not alone. 

When your child is re-hospitalized, we stand with you. When you feel lonely in a crowd of people, we stand with you. When you hold back tears, we stand with you. While you hold your breath waiting for good news, we stand with you. While you walk with your head held down, we stand with you. Your story is that of triumphs and defeats, but it is the greatest story ever told. Hold your head high for you are strong. You are a NICU mama and your story will move mountains.”

Love,
Jakarta

For more of Jakarta + August's NICU journey, head to: www.dearnicumama.com/blog/love-jakarta

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We talk about it often on our social media, but the bond between two NICU sisters is an unmatched bond. And today we have the honor of hearing the story behind the extraordinary friendship of Charleen and Lizzie!

One day while in the NICU with her daughter Emerson, Charleen noticed that another preemie baby had been born. Because she wanted this new NICU mom to know that she was never alone, Charleen wrote Lizzie a letter. Little did they both know that this letter would change their lives forever!

Charleen and Lizzie's friendship encompasses the power and beauty of what a NICU sisterhood can look like, and their interview is full of honesty and vulnerability. We hope that their story encourages any mamas listening to take the leap to reach out and befriend another NICU mama! And if you're looking for where some sisters are? The DNM Sisterhood is a great place to start.<3

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Our podcast episode for you this week is a mini episode! And during this time of COVID, we wanted to offer a self-compassion centered mindfulness exercise that any mama can do in or out of the NICU.

Certified yoga and mindfulness instructor Stephanie Ashem leads us through a 10 minute mindfulness exercise called, “The Compassionate Friend”, that is modeled after a similar exercise created by self-compassion leaders and teachers Kristin Neff and Chris Germer. We hope that this mini episode offers a moment of peace for your heart and is an episode that can continually be referred back to when you need to extend self-compassion to that beautiful soul of yours.

Steph Asheim is a certified yoga instructor and is trained in mindfulness. Steph's first child, Kaitlyn (now 14), spent some time in the NICU after Steph spent 9 weeks in the hospital awaiting Kaitlyn's arrival. Although she didn't practice yoga/mindfulness during that time, Steph realizes how valuable these tools could have been and has used them consistently while raising Kaitlyn and her younger daughter Carissa.

For more resources, exercises, and information regarding self-compassion: www.self-compassion.org

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On today's podcast episode, we have the opportunity to hear from the one and only, Vilma! The NICU journey of her son Bradley is full of great hope and strength. Vilma delivered her son via an emergency c-section at 38weeks and 5 days. Her pregnancy leading up to the delivery was smooth and by the book, so to have her son rushed away to the NICU was very unexpected. After 54 days in the NICU including one hospital transfer, Bradley received a diagnosis of Transient Hyperinsulinemia and Diffused White Matter Injury to his brain. Both Vilma and her husband Jose have committed their lives to being the best advocates and parents for Bradley that they can possibly be, and believe us when we say that it is very evident throughout this episode!

We hope that this episode offers hope to any full-term NICU mamas or NICU mamas currently waiting for a diagnosis. You are never ever alone. <3

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In an effort to celebrate Father's Day and NICU dads everywhere, we have a very special podcast episode to share with you all this week! It's no secret that NICU mamas and NICU dads process, heal, and work through the trauma of a NICU journey differently. And while we hope to eventually do an episode with a more scientific/emotional response to what those differences often times look like, we wanted to begin with a very conversational/interview-style episode featuring some some pretty incredible NICU dads. (AKA our HUBBIES!)

We are so grateful for their vulnerability, and we hope that this episode is an episode that couples can listen to together, or that a NICU dad can listen to to feel less isolated and less alone. Pull up a chair as we have a front row seat into the hearts of Ryan, Zach, and Tyler!

Happy Father's Day, NICU dads!

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May is Preeclampsia Awareness Month! And for today’s episode, we have the opportunity to sit down with Rebekah Tompkins, MD to chat about not only preeclampsia, but also HELLP Syndrome. Rebekah Tompkins not only specializes in high-risk pregnancy, but she personally experienced preeclampsia, HELLP, and a NICU stay with her firstborn son. Not only does she offer sound doctrine on the medical and physical effects of preeclampsia, but she also offers the firsthand perspective of journeying through this herself. We are so grateful for the wisdom and empathy that she brings to this conversation!

In this episode we cover:

• What is preeclampsia?
• What is HELLP and how is it different than preeclampsia?
• If I developed preeclampsia in my previous pregnancy, how likely am I to develop it again in future pregnancies? Is there anything I can do to prevent preeclampsia from reoccurring?
• Are there any additional health risks for either mom or baby associated with preeclampsia after birth?

We hope that this episode offers some sound wisdom on all things regrading preeclampsia, and reminds you once again of how miraculous both you and your little one are. You are a survivor, mama!

To get connected with Sanford Health Women’s:
Website 

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This week’s Dear NICU Mama podcast is dedicated to the second half of Justina’s journey.  After only a few months of grieving their son, Carter, Justina and her husband were shocked to discovered that she was pregnant again, six months before they planned on trying. They guarded their hearts through the rollercoaster emotions of a high-risk pregnancy, and at 29 weeks welcomed Aron.

In this episode, Justina shares her perspective and wisdom on how to endure high-risk pregnancy after loss, what it’s like to relive moments in the NICU, and how to grieve and love at the same time.

To get connected with Carter's Cause:
Website | Instagram | Facebook

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For some NICU Mamas, the journey doesn't end with homecoming.  In this episode of the Dear NICU Mama podcast, we interview Justina Oldehoff, mother of two NICU babies and founder of Carter's Cause, a resource for families in the NICU and those who've suffered infant loss.

Justina and her husband, Dan, endured the unimaginable when their precious son, Carter, was born at 24 weeks and 2 days.  Although Carter and his medical team fought bravely, he lived only three days.  Justina bravely honors his life by sharing his story with us here, as well as wisdom and encouragement for those mothers who are grieving a child.

Carter's Cause is on a mission to comfort and support to those going through one of life's most unimaginable events.  Through Carter's story, they provide resources to guide parents grieving from infant loss, parents living the NICU journey, as well as the family and friends who form their support group.

To get connected with Carter's Cause:
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NICU Mamas, we see you. We know that things like social isolation and “quarantine” are not new for you and your family. Which is why we hope that this episode offers some new and fun ideas to interact and bond with your NICU grad with Kindermusik!

This past month, Chaycie reached out to us and conveyed how she wanted to give back to our DNM Sisterhood during this time of COVID. Dear NICU Mama is partnering with Kindermusik and instructor Chaycie Kramer to offer UNLIMITED virtual classes this month for a discounted flat fee of $60! Chaycie is happy to customize payment plans and scholarships are available too! What’s even better? Chaycie will be (based on interest/availability) creating Kindermusik classes JUST for NICU mamas and kiddos.

Kindermusik is an international music and movement curriculum that has been researching childhood development for over 40 years. Kindermusik is designed to celebrate, teach, reduce stress, and provide more fellowship with an abundance of laughter, fun and positivity for these mamas and their babies. 

For the FREE Demo Class happening Friday, April 17th at 10:15 AM CT:

Zoom Link: https://us04web.zoom.us/j/4125483521

Meeting ID: 412 548 3521

Password: KMwithCK

Here we go Round the Mulberry Bush Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFrEVhOPwvc

A bio from Chaycie: “I graduated from Concordia College in 2000 with my B.M. in Music Performance on saxophone and bassoon.  After graduation, I married my 'college sweetheart' and moved out east to get my Master's in Music Performance from The Boston Conservatory.  We moved back to the Fargo-Moorhead area in 2003 when I was invited to teach at Concordia and MSUM.  I have been teaching in the area ever since!  

I’ve been teaching Kindermusik since 2009, and I can’t imagine doing anything else.  In addition, I teach private lessons on saxophone and bassoon, as well as adapted music lessons to children with special needs.  I also play bassoon in the FM Symphony when the music calls for three, so come to a concert and you just may see me up there!  

I've also been awarded Maestro Status through Kindermusik, which is only for the top 10% of all educators based on excellent relationships and family retention, and was nominated for YWCA's Women of the Year in 2018. 

My husband, Jason, and I have two girls; McKenna is now 14 and Karsen is 10.  Such wonderful blessings."

To get connected with Chaycie + Kindermusik:
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Excessive hand washing, fear of germs, social distancing and isolation... sound familiar? It may be because there are some uncanny similarities between the recent COVID-19 regulations and NICU regulations. And because of these similarities, we wanted to bring awareness to the fact that this can all be very triggering for NICU mamas.

We are so honored to have high risk pregnancy specialist and trauma professional Parijat Desphande on the podcast to share about how our bodies and minds may be responding during this unprecedented time. This episode is packed with incredible amounts of insight and immense amounts of HOPE.

Parijat Deshpande is the leading high-risk pregnancy specialist, trauma professional, speaker and author who teaches women how to deactivate their stress response before, during and after a high-risk pregnancy so they can give their baby a strong start to life. Her unique approach has served hundreds of women to manage pregnancy complications and reclaim safety and trust in their bodies that they thought was eroded forever. Parijat is the author of bestselling book Pregnancy Brain: A Mind-Body Approach to Stress Management During a High-Risk Pregnancy. She is also the host of the popular podcast Delivering Miracles®, that discusses the real, raw side of family-building including infertility, loss, high-risk pregnancy, bed rest, prematurity and healing once baby comes home.

To get connected with Parijat Deshpande:
Website | Instagram | Facebook | Delivering Miracles® Podcast | Healing Hearts Program

Parijat's Book, Pregnancy Brain - Available on Kindle and paperback on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. - https://parijatdeshpande.lpages.co/pregnancybrain/

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