Responsibility might seem like the buzzkill of desire, but what if it’s actually the key to deep fulfillment? Brenda and Catherine challenge the fantasy that our wants should simply appear without effort. Instead, they explore how taking ownership of our desires creates the fertile ground for them to flourish—both within ourselves and in our relationships.

They discuss the natural seasons of desire and how what we want changes over time, requiring different kinds of attention and action. Brenda shares her current journey toward homeownership as an example of holding space for a big desire even when the path forward isn’t clear. Catherine reflects on her younger self who avoided window shopping because wanting felt too painful, showing how our relationship with desire can evolve as we grow.

The conversation turns to sexual responsibility, revealing how true freedom comes from creating safety. They encourage listeners to consider the lasting impact of their choices, especially when those choices involve creating life with another person. As Brenda notes from personal experience, “We are no longer married and we are in it for life,” reminding us that some connections are permanent through our children.

Whether you’re reconnecting with a dormant desire, reassessing your priorities, or trying to understand why certain wants feel so urgent, this episode offers compassionate guidance. The magic happens when responsibility and desire work together—not as limitation, but as the foundation for true freedom.

Episode Highlights
• Taking responsibility for desires rather than turning away when they feel out of reach
• Using discernment to prioritize what matters most in your current season of life
• How “window shopping” for desires helps you become the person who can receive them
• Reconnecting with desire by identifying what works best for you—stillness for some, movement for others
• How sexual responsibility creates the safety that leads to more freedom and pleasure
• Making choices with awareness of their potential lifelong consequences
• Navigating co-parenting relationships that continue beyond divorce

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What happens to our sex lives when we actively practice desire? Everything changes. When we approach desire as a spiritual practice, our relationship with sex shifts from reactive and conditional to conscious and self-responsible.

Brenda and Catherine explore how this transformation unfolds, moving beyond old patterns, like withholding sex during conflicts or expecting partners to manage our arousal, and toward a more empowered, pleasure-led way of relating. They share personal experiences of letting go of outdated scripts, like believing we should always want sex if we love someone, or that desire disappearing signals a relationship problem.

Instead, they offer a compassionate view: sexual desire naturally ebbs and flows, and those shifts can be met with curiosity, communication, and creativity. From navigating life changes like new motherhood to finding new ways to connect physically, the focus becomes honoring what’s real in the moment.

A key insight is that turn-on is our own responsibility. This reframes sexuality from something dependent on others to a deeply personal practice of self-awareness and self-expression. By tending to the things that make us feel alive—rest, play, creativity, and meaningful connection—sexual desire becomes a natural extension of a well-fed life.

Episode Highlights:
• Recognizing that sexual desire naturally fluctuates and having approval for yourself when it changes
• Communicating what you want sexually, even when it’s different from yesterday
• Why women sometimes “forget how much they like sex” and how to reconnect with that knowledge
• Moving beyond patterns of withholding sex during relationship conflicts
• Taking responsibility for your own turn-on rather than expecting your partner to create it
• Navigating challenging periods like new motherhood with honest communication
• The importance of being “well-fed” in all aspects of life to sustain sexual desire
• Shifting from externally-oriented to internally-oriented sexuality

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Have you ever found yourself in that strange, disorienting space where you used to feel your desires clearly, but now, all you hear is silence?

In this episode, Brenda and Catherine explore what happens when desire goes quiet. After spending so much time learning to follow the whispers of longing, what do you do when those whispers disappear?

Rather than rushing to fix it, they invite you to pause and listen differently. These quiet seasons aren’t failures—they’re invitations. Invitations to slow down, return to the body, and deepen your trust in the natural rhythms of desire.

They discuss how speed, overthinking, and life circumstances like grief can muffle desire’s voice. They share personal stories and practices that help them reconnect - like Catherine’s ritual of doing absolutely nothing for two hours, or Brenda’s reflections on trusting the unknown in her longing for home.

Most of all, this episode is about trusting that desire doesn’t abandon us. It simply changes form. Sometimes it simmers. Sometimes it rests. But it’s always alive inside you.

Episode Highlights
• Experiencing a lack of desire after learning to follow it isn't a problem - it's a signal
• When desire feels absent, check if you're in your head instead of your body
• Pivoting your attention often restores connection more easily than forcing clarity
• Reconnection strategies include movement, stillness, time in nature, relational support, etc
• Moving too fast can drown out desire - slowing down helps you hear and feel
• Life’s desires have a natural hierarchy - you can’t fulfill every want at once
• Grief and hardship often quiet desire; it’s not wrong, it’s human
• Gripping too tightly to desires creates resistance, practicing trust is more effective
• Holding the “what” while releasing the “how” is a powerful desire practice
• Desire isn’t a constant flame - it ebbs and flows, like everything else in nature

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Have you ever caught yourself mindlessly eating chocolate or clicking “next episode” on Netflix into the early hours, even when you’re no longer enjoying it? Brenda and Catherine talk about the “hungry ghost” state: a craving that seems bottomless, never fully satisfied.

In this episode, they explore the Buddhist concept of the hungry ghost (Preta in Sanskrit), beings with enormous bellies and tiny mouths, eternally yearning but never fulfilled, and how this ancient metaphor shows up in modern life. Whether it's through binge-watching, emotional eating, impulse shopping, or draining relationship patterns, they reveal how these behaviors often point to deeper unmet needs.

Drawing from their own stories (yes, including Hershey’s Kisses and online shopping sprees), they offer a compassionate lens on what it means to be caught in cycles of compulsive behavior. Rather than shaming these patterns, they see them as messengers—nudging us to ask: What am I truly hungry for?

This conversation invites listeners into a deeper relationship with desire—not as something to control, but as something to understand. The journey isn’t about discipline or perfection; it’s about awareness, honesty, and the courage to meet our true needs.

Episode Highlights

• Hungry ghost behaviors can show up as binge-eating, excessive shopping, or endless scrolling, etc
• The Buddhist image: big belly, pinhole mouth ~ always hungry, never satisfied
• Awareness is the first step to interrupting compulsive cycles
• Self-compassion is essential; shame only deepens the hunger
• Our culture promotes both deprivation and overconsumption, especially for women
• The question “What do I truly need?” brings clarity
• These patterns often point to meaningful desires we’ve been taught to suppress
• Sometimes, we must move through the compulsive phase before we reach true nourishment

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What if desire shows up before we even have the words for it? In this episode, we explore how desire first emerges - not as a clear thought, but as a whisper, a spark, a sensation in the body. Long before we can name it, it’s already speaking to us.

We share personal stories (including Brenda’s not-actually-about-the-beach vacation dilemma) to show how subtle desires, when ignored, often morph into resentment. In a world that trains us to focus on problems rather than possibility, we rarely ask: What do I truly want?

Together, we unpack what it means to become responsible for your desires—not just chasing outcomes, but tuning into the deeper need beneath the surface. Sometimes the real craving isn’t “no more beach trips,” but “I need novelty,” “I want freedom,” or “I’m longing for adventure.”

Desire isn’t a luxury—it’s a compass. And the practice of listening to it can reshape your relationship with yourself and everyone around you.

Episode Highlights

• Desire often arrives as a body-based knowing before we have language for it
• Suppressed desire doesn’t vanish—it turns into frustration or resentment
• Our culture prioritizes problems over possibility, making desire hard to access
• Being “responsible” for your desire means understanding the deeper why beneath a want
• Desire is rarely about the outcome—it’s about the feeling we're seeking
• Tools like desire lists help build clarity and self-awareness
• Small acts of fulfillment grow the muscle of self-trust and inner wisdom
• The key question to return to: “What am I really longing for?”

🎧 If this episode resonates, share it with someone who’s ready to want more from life.
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Celebrating 100 episodes! 

In this milestone episode of Desire as Medicine, we pause to reflect on the extraordinary journey we’ve taken together. What began as tentative conversations has blossomed into a bold exploration of desire, self-love, and transformation, for us, and for you.

Over the past hundred episodes, we've charted a path for women (and the people who love them) to live more authentically. Series like Self-Love, Sisterhood, and Freedom have deepened our understanding that desire is not just a feeling, it's a practice. 

We’ve been deeply moved by your stories. From the woman who stopped straightening her hair to lean into her natural beauty, to the man who felt seen in a world that rarely allows men to express emotion, your feedback affirms the ripple effect of desire-led living.

This podcast has stretched us professionally too. It’s been a path to greater visibility, consistency, and creative expression. And it’s shown us that when you follow desire, everyone around you benefits.

Looking ahead, we’re expanding into video and exploring new frontiers, new topics related to desire. But at our core, one truth remains: desire is medicine, and we will continue to relate to it as medicine. We’re so grateful to walk this path with you.

Want to celebrate with us? Leave a review on Apple Podcasts and let us know how this journey has shaped yours.

Episode Highlights:

• The Self-Love Series (starting at episode 35) shifted our perspective: self-love is built through everyday, consistent actions
• How showing up to your desires and projects consistently grows you as creatives and professionals
• Listener stories reflect profound transformation, shifting relationships to self, body, and emotions
• Men are embracing emotional expression through this work
• Our practical advice is landing, whether it’s keeping phones out of bedrooms or embracing who you are
• Our core message: When you follow your desire, it uplifts everyone around you

We'd love to hear from you! Please leave a review on Apple Podcasts and let us know how this show has impacted you.

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In this episode, we dive into the deep medicine of sacred rest. What happens when you intentionally put everything down and step away from the constant pull of work, screens, and to-dos. Through the lens of Brenda’s personal Shabbat practice, we explore how ritualized pauses create room for desire, clarity, and real connection.

We live in a culture that celebrates hustle and constant output. Whether you’re a parent, caregiver, creator, or all of the above, honoring your need for rest isn’t indulgent, it’s essential.

Let’s talk about how creating boundaries around downtime helps us reclaim our energy, re-center our values, and show up more fully in every part of life. Your version of rest doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. The key is discovering what truly replenishes you and protecting it like your wellbeing depends on it. Because it does.

Episode Highlights:
• How Brenda’s Shabbat practice became a portal to deep rest and connection
• Why sacred rest is essential in a world that never stops
• The paradox of being constantly “connected” but deeply disconnected
• How rest helps us access our truest desires
• The resistance that shows up when we try to unplug—and how to move through it
• Simple ideas for building your own rest ritual
• How mothers and caregivers set the pace for rest in the whole household
• Why intentional downtime is a power move, not a pause button

Let us know what landed for you...we love hearing from you.  If you liked this episode, leave a review on Apple podcasts!

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Have you ever noticed how the same desire can be received completely differently, simply based on how you say it? The way we communicate our needs and desires shape the quality of our relationships more than we realize.

In this intimate and insightful episode, we unpack the subtle (and powerful) role of syntax, tone, and word choice in expressing desire. Whether you’re navigating romantic connection, friendship, or family dynamics, the shift from blame to vulnerability can open doors to deeper intimacy.

Brenda shares her personal practice of saying, “I have a desire…” to invite curiosity and soften the moment before making a request. This playful approach, rooted in honest expression and emotional safety, helps transform potentially charged conversations into loving, connected exchanges.

We also explore the concept of “clean asking," making requests without guilt, pressure, or manipulation - and how speaking from love rather than fear completely changes how we’re received. Your words are not just communication, they’re energetic spells that shape your reality.

💬 What would shift if you spoke from desire instead of complaint? From love instead of fear?

Highlights:

• How “you never hold me” vs. “Can you please hold me?” changes everything
• Why syntax and phrasing matter in emotional communication
• Turning complaints into heart-centered desires
• The power of “I have a desire…” to create curiosity and softness
• What it means to make a “clean ask” (no neediness or manipulation)
• How vulnerability is key to expressing what we truly want
• Words shape your reality, so use them with love and intention

If something in this episode resonated, please share it with someone you care about - and let us know what landed for you. We’d love to hear from you - send us a message! 

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Have you ever asked for something that felt totally reasonable, only to be met with resistance, rejection or discomfort? It can feel disorienting, even painful.

In this episode, we explore how to ask for what you want in relationships without attachment, resentment, or collapse. Through stories of diamond earrings, perfume, and simple affection, we reveal the subtle difference between demanding and cleanly desiring.

When we love our desires, rather than clinging to outcomes, we create space for more connection, more possibility, and less pressure. We introduce the transformative practice of “asking every time like it’s the first time,”. We share how approval can  shift everything about how we ask and how we receive.

This episode speaks to who you become through the asking for what you desire.

In this episode:
• The difference between demanding and clean asking
• Why emotional attachment sabotages desire
• Real-life examples: earrings, perfume, affection
• “Ask every time like it’s the first time”
• How to stay radiant and open when you hear “no”
• Releasing resentment and rewriting old patterns
• Being responsible for your desire (not outsourcing it)
• Knowing the difference between “not now” and “not ever”
• The freedom of loving your desire—no matter the outcome

May you love your desire, even when it’s not fulfilled.
May you hold yourself with grace when you meet resistance.

We’d love to hear your takeaway or leave us a review; your words mean the world to us.

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What happens when you ask for something you deeply desire, and it’s met with rejection?

In this episode, Brenda and Catherine explore the art of asking for what we want while staying rooted in self-worth, even when the answer is “no.” Through honest personal stories—from diamond earrings to a fridge full of Pellegrino—they unpack how to hold desire cleanly, without attachment to the outcome.

This is not about getting what you want—it’s about loving that you want it.

They explore the nuances of desire as a personal practice, how to receive both gifts and refusals with grace, and why clear, fresh asking creates freedom. Learn how to stop tying your worth to others' responses and start trusting your desires as worthy in and of themselves.

Highlights:

• Brenda shares a story about wanting diamond earrings and how her husband’s reaction impacted her
• The difference between loving our desire and needing it to be fulfilled
• Why men may feel overwhelmed by certain requests, even if they want to please
• How to receive gifts graciously, even when they miss the mark
• The practice of “asking every time like it’s the first time”
• Taking responsibility for our own desires instead of expecting validation
• How to receive a “no” without making it mean something about your worth
• The freedom that comes from being in approval of your desires

🌺 Stay in love with your desire—regardless of the outcome.
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