What happens when you ask for something you deeply desire, and it’s met with rejection?

In this episode, Brenda and Catherine explore the art of asking for what we want while staying rooted in self-worth, even when the answer is “no.” Through honest personal stories—from diamond earrings to a fridge full of Pellegrino—they unpack how to hold desire cleanly, without attachment to the outcome.

This is not about getting what you want—it’s about loving that you want it.

They explore the nuances of desire as a personal practice, how to receive both gifts and refusals with grace, and why clear, fresh asking creates freedom. Learn how to stop tying your worth to others' responses and start trusting your desires as worthy in and of themselves.

Highlights:

• Brenda shares a story about wanting diamond earrings and how her husband’s reaction impacted her
• The difference between loving our desire and needing it to be fulfilled
• Why men may feel overwhelmed by certain requests, even if they want to please
• How to receive gifts graciously, even when they miss the mark
• The practice of “asking every time like it’s the first time”
• Taking responsibility for our own desires instead of expecting validation
• How to receive a “no” without making it mean something about your worth
• The freedom that comes from being in approval of your desires

🌺 Stay in love with your desire—regardless of the outcome.
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What happens when life feels like an all-you-can-eat buffet of desires? When every opportunity feels irresistible and you want it all—right now?

In this episode, Brenda and Catherine dive into the emotional terrain of competing desires and the tough choices we must make when we can't have everything at once. They explore what it means to move through life’s “candy store” with discernment, drawing from personal stories and hard-earned wisdom.

Brenda shares a powerful, vulnerable account of her divorce—a soul-driven choice that led to emotional upheaval, financial strain, and years of shame before she found her way back to self-compassion. Her story reveals a deeper truth: desire isn’t always about gratification—it’s about alignment, honesty, and growth.

Through real-life examples around homes, money, and relationships, this conversation invites listeners to look honestly at what they want, what it costs, and what they’re truly willing to choose.

Whether you're overwhelmed by too many options, sitting with regret, or struggling to prioritize your desires, this episode offers something grounding: permission to be human, imperfect, and compassionate with yourself as you learn.

As Brenda says, "You can't do it wrong... whatever decision you make brings you to the next place."

In this episode, we explore:

• Life as a candy store or buffet of endless tempting choices
• Not everything we want is possible—or meant for us—all at once
• Desire requires making honest choices and accepting the costs
• Being a full YES means owning the consequences of your decisions
• Financial tradeoffs between dream homes and meaningful experiences
• Hidden costs of desires often only reveal themselves later
• Brenda’s vulnerable story of divorce and its unexpected aftermath
• The power of deep honesty with self and others
• Finding compassion when choices lead to messy outcomes
• The three core arenas of desire: health, wealth, and relationships
• There’s no wrong choice—every step leads to the next learning

💬 Share your reflections with us on Instagram @desireismedicinepodcast.

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We all want freedom but are our go-to comforts actually keeping us stuck? In this revealing episode, Brenda and Catherine explore the fine line between real freedom and sophisticated forms of avoidance.

From Netflix binges to spontaneous vacations, they examine how common pleasures can sometimes act as distractions from discomfort. Through honest personal stories, they uncover how facing limitations, rather than escaping them, builds deeper resilience and lasting liberation.

This conversation invites you to explore your own habits with compassion and curiosity. What are you avoiding? What would true freedom really feel like?

Episode Highlights:

• Common escape routes: Netflix, shopping, social media, and more
• Why temporary relief often delays real growth
• How simple actions (like going for a walk or cooking) can feel more freeing than elaborate distractions
• The connection between avoidance and feeling stuck
• How backing yourself in hard moments builds confidence and freedom
• Cultivating curiosity (not shame) around escapism
• Recognizing where you don’t yet have full choice
• Understanding that true freedom often comes through discomfort, not away from it

Share this episode, write a review on Apple Podcasts, and let us know how this conversation landed for you.

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What does it mean to love without losing yourself?

Freedom isn't about avoiding responsibility, it's about staying rooted in yourself while loving others fully. When we overextend in small, constant ways, always saying yes, always accommodating, we slowly drift into self-abandonment and codependency.

True freedom begins when we trust others to navigate their own journey. Seeing each person as a divine being capable of growth allows us to step back without guilt. While our desire to help may come from love, it often prevents real resilience from developing.

This shift requires internal work, especially regulating our nervous systems so we can sit with discomfort instead of jumping in to fix. Whether you’re a parent, partner, or healer, freedom grows when you honor boundaries and let others rise in their own time.

Episode Highlights:

• Loving without losing yourself means maintaining boundaries even when you have the capacity to give more
 • Seeing everyone as a "spark of God" creates freedom from needing to control or fix others
 • Nervous system regulation helps us sit with discomfort when witnessing others struggle
 • True freedom comes from trusting that everyone is making the best decisions for their growth
 • Motherhood offers powerful opportunities to practice loving without interference
 • The distinction between helping clients professionally versus loving people personally
 • Giving others space to learn and grow is the greatest gift we can offer them

Join us in this exploration of freedom through relationship and share what resonates with you most from today's episode. Share with us: how do you practice loving without losing yourself? Feel free to rate us and leave us a review.

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What does it really mean to be free? Is it doing whatever you want—or something else?

In this episode, we explore the difference between true freedom and false freedom. Many of us chase a version of freedom that actually leaves us feeling more stuck—mistaking impulsivity, people-pleasing, and structure-free living for liberation, when they’re really subtle forms of escape.

True freedom arises when we make conscious choices aligned with our values. It’s not about having no limits—it’s about making intentional choices rather than from wounds or conditioning. This kind of freedom brings clarity, safety, and spaciousness into our lives.

Surprisingly, structure—often viewed as restrictive—can be a powerful ally in cultivating freedom. Supportive routines reduce decision fatigue and create space for what matters most. Like skyscrapers that sway in the wind, flexible structures help us remain grounded and resilient.

Main Points:

• Awareness precedes choice—you need to know you have options before you can exercise freedom
 • False freedom often looks like reacting from impulse or emotion without considering impact
 • Structure paradoxically creates more freedom by eliminating decision fatigue
 • Like skyscrapers designed to sway with wind, effective structures have built-in flexibility
 • Regular practices (morning routines, consistent sleep schedules) support freedom rather than restrict it
 • Saying yes when you mean no might feel easier but compounds into less freedom over time
 • Small choices compound over time—consider the collective impact of daily decisions
 • True freedom involves owning your impact with love and integrity
 • Self-trust and self-awareness grow when you honor your needs and limits

Reflect:
What structures would truly support you?
Where are you experiencing true freedom? Where might it be false freedom in disguise? Where are you trying to escape?

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When we’re young, freedom feels like staying up late, eating candy for dinner, and having no one tell us what to do. But as we grow up, that surface-level idea of freedom gets challenged. True freedom, is not about indulging in everything, it’s about having genuine choice and the ability to act from our values, not our wounds.

Brenda and Catherine explore their personal paths to authentic freedom. Brenda opens up about breaking free from perfectionism and people-pleasing, where retail therapy once offered short-lived comfort but not true satisfaction. Catherine shares how her struggle with overthinking and mental pro/con lists left her exhausted and paralyzed. Her early attempts at liberation looked like apathy and rebellion, but they didn’t bring peace. 

Together, they uncover the uncomfortable (yet essential) "messy middle" - the part of the journey where we swing between extremes before finding alignment. They also explore how modern freedom includes digital boundaries, discerning true desire from disguised compulsion, and redefining success on our own terms.

If you’ve ever felt trapped by your habits, your phone, your finances, or your own expectations, this episode offers insight and permission to begin again.

Highlights from the Episode:

• Freedom requires taking responsibility for our choices—not escaping them
• The path often swings from constraint to rebellion before balance emerges
• Catherine's journey led from anxious overthinking to clarity and peace
• Brenda’s evolution moved from perfectionism to empowered decision-making
• True freedom means responding from our values rather than our conditioning
• Mindful spending is more liberating than impulsive consumption
• Digital boundaries are essential—choosing when and how to engage
• Saying both yes and no with equal ease is a sign of inner freedom
• Compulsions can masquerade as "freedom" but actually keep us stuck
• The “messy middle” is where transformation and self-trust are forged

 ✨ Where in your life are you craving more freedom?
 ✨ What have you already freed yourself from?

If any part of this episode resonated, let us know, write a review, and share this episode with someone you love. 

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Ever wonder why some people see kindness everywhere while others only notice rejection? It’s not the world that’s different, it’s our perception. Brenda and Catherine explore how our brains filter reality based on our beliefs, often without us realizing it.

Using Tony Robbins’ “red car” experiment as a jumping-off point, they speak to how 95% of our brain activity happens unconsciously. These mental filters shape everything from our relationships to our opportunities. Beliefs like “I have to do everything alone” or “nobody wants women to succeed” can become self-fulfilling prophecies, until we learn to spot them.

Through personal stories and a simple four-step process, the hosts show you how to become aware of your filters, question them, explore new perspectives, and intentionally shift your focus. They invite you to experiment with your attention, because when you change what you look for, your whole world can shift.

Highlights:
 • Our reticular activating system (RAS) unconsciously filters information based on prior beliefs and fears
 • Tony Robbins' "red car" exercise demonstrates how we notice only what we're looking for
 • Negative beliefs like "nobody wants to help me" create self-fulfilling prophecies
 • Awareness is the first step to changing perception
 • Questioning assumptions opens space for alternative explanations
 • Setting conscious intentions redirects our attention
 • New skills may be needed to support belief shifts
 • Curiosity is more powerful than judgment
 • Daily challenge: look for evidence of kindness
 • Evening reflection: “What surprised me today?”

Ready to see beyond your mental filters? This conversation might just change how you view everything. DM us your surprises...we love hearing what shifts for you.

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Brenda and Catherine explore how that anxious inner hum - the persistent urge to do something – might actually be an invitation into stillness, not more action.

Brenda shares how her former need for order and perfectionism once kept her from being present with her kids. A pandemic moment of realizing “the dishes don’t have to be done today” shifted everything. Constant motion, she reflects, is often a way to avoid discomfort and deeper self-connection.

Catherine adds insight from her own pattern of trying to fix others as a way to escape her own unease. Whether through busyness or caretaking, both patterns reflect difficulty being with uncomfortable feelings.

They offers grounding practices like placing a hand where tension lives in the body, narrating sensations without judgment, and using calming phrases like “I am safe.” Catherine says, “You don’t learn to drive when you need to take someone to the hospital.” We build capacity in quieter moments so it’s there when we need it.

Whether you're someone who can't leave the dishes or someone who never does them, this episode invites you to shift your relationship with stillness – and discover freedom in simply being with yourself.

Episode Highlights:

• Anxiety often shows up as an urge to move, act, or fix
• Our overstimulated world feeds anxious tendencies and perfectionism
• Constant motion can block deeper connection with self and others
• Noticing, naming, and breathing into physical sensations helps regulate the nervous system
• Phrases like “I am safe” support grounding in the moment
• Regular embodiment practices build resilience for emotional challenges
• Healing comes not from avoiding discomfort, but allowing it with compassion

Let us know what resonates – we’d love to hear from you.

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The profound difference between solitary self-discovery and maintaining authenticity in relationships is the heart of this week's conversation. We dive deep into what it means to be "a monk on the mountain versus a monk in the city" – exploring how much easier it is to feel connected to our highest self when alone than when navigating the complexities of human connection.

Relationships serve as our most powerful mirrors, reflecting back aspects of ourselves we'd never see alone. That momentary sting when someone doesn't return our greeting or the discomfort of having our opinions challenged – these friction points aren't just obstacles to overcome but invitations to grow. 

As we share personal stories about handling rejection and disapproval, we uncover how these moments can either cause us to crumble or strengthen our sense of self.  

Episode Highlights:
• Relationships serve as mirrors, showing us aspects of ourselves we can't see alone
• The challenge of staying authentic while being in relationship with other people and their world
• Self-regulation when faced with rejection or disapproval
• Learning to stay open rather than crumbling when others don't approve
• How relationships expand our horizons by exposing us to different worldviews
• Creating something greater together than we could ever produce alone
• The importance of investing in relationships that matter
• Finding the balance between being fully yourself and connecting with others

If you related to this episode or have thoughts to share, please DM us and let us know how it resonated with you.

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This episode explores the beautiful complexity of women’s friendships, challenging the myth that deep connection happens effortlessly.

Catherine & Brenda share personal stories about how our own relationship grew through intentional investment - what we call “coins in the fountain.” True sisterhood takes time, vulnerability, and the courage to navigate discomfort. Many of us were never taught how to build lasting, soul-nourishing friendships.

We dive into common patterns, like collusion, jealousy, and conditional support, and how unlearning them opens space for authentic connection. We also acknowledge the often-overlooked grief that comes when friendships shift or end, and how deeply those losses can impact us.

What does real sisterhood look like? It’s imperfect, messy, and profoundly rewarding. It’s showing up fully, celebrating each other’s growth, and choosing courage and care over comparison.

Sisterhood is not about luck—it’s an intentiional practice of intention and trust.

Episode Highlights:

• Challenging the myth that friendships are effortless

• Investing time, energy, and vulnerability

• Transforming situational friendships into soul connections

• Releasing unhealthy patterns like collusion and competition

• Honoring the grief of evolving or ending friendships

• Allowing imperfection and repair

• Building relationships that truly see, support, and celebrate

• Finding your people through courageous, intentional choices

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