Destroy All Children

Hoo boy. This sure is An Episode, in many respects. That 3 hour runtime is justified, unlike some other interminable epics... 

First, we have to contend with the force of nature that is The Snyder Cut. After that, I have a Retro Corner for Splinter Cell 1-3 (during which both other people on the podcast are almost entirely silent), and then it's the Main Event: a knock-down, drag-out confrontation over god damn Sonic Adventure 1 and 2. What a fucking nightmare. I regret everything about this episode. I hope you have a good time listening to it, so my suffering might not be for naught. 

Theme song by David Cassel

Outro music: "SPORTS MEN" by Harry Hosono & the World Shyness

Really weird episode this week, but in a good way. Without much news to speak of, and with possible gas leaks in both of our rooms, we instead decided to talk about Forged in Fire, the video game collector's market, and, of course... Star Track. The subject of Retro Corner is the NES Mega Mans (and 9/10, for some reason), where I thought it would be a good idea to run down all the Robot Masters. Was it a good idea? Probably not, but it brought out some bizarre latent racism from George, so I'm gonna call it win. 

Theme song by David Cassel

Outro music - The Hunger ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPrek1oAjG0 )

First off, the audio levels still aren't quite right. Trying to dial this back in. Everything was great until George nuked his goddamn computer like an idiot.

Anyway, this week we talk about Klute, podracing, WandaVision, and some sort of new Switch model, if you're the kinda freak who cares about that. This week's Retro Corner concerns Burning Force, a game that I have been assured is real, and Perfect Dark, which is a good game if you play it on a machine that doesn't run at single-digit framerates. George did not do that.

Theme song by David Cassel

Outro music: "Perfect Day" by Lou Reed

It's a JAM-PACKED, EXTRA-SIZED episode this week, because after the Usual Bull Shit (terrible-looking Pokemon games, Persona 5 Strikers, etc) we discuss Lupin III: The First, the new CGI moviefilm starring everyone's favorite gentlemen thief. Then, in Retro Corner, it's a double whammy, because George played Ico and Shadow of the Colossus. I love one of those games! Which one? Listen to find out, you dumb fucker! 

Finally, because nobody demanded it, Comics Corner returns, discussing Black Hammer, Joker: Killer Smile, and Wonder Woman: Dead Earth. If you don't like it, don't listen to it! I don't give a Shit!

Theme song by David Cassel

Outro music: "Hotel Yorba" by The White Stripes

This week, we discuss Jim Ryan's GQ interview about the state of PlayStation, the demise of Daft Punk, last week's Nintendo Direct, and water levels. I hate them. Just the worst. If you're making a video game, and you think, "Hey, we should add a water level," here's some advice: fucking don't, you maniac. Stop it. You need to be stopped, by force if need be. 

Then, in Retro Corner, it's Ristar. 

Theme song by David Cassel

Outro music: "No Sleep Til Brooklyn (Daft Science remix)" by Coins

Low-energy episode this week, as I'm snowed in, but hey, George finished Control! I started Ys IX: Monstrum Nox! There was some news on the horizon when this was recorded, so we attempted to predict what it would be. It was, uhhh... Depressingly accurate, it turns out. Then, in Retro Corner, George played some Mickey Mouse games for Children. Magical Quest, The Great Circus Mystery, and Mickey Mania, to be specific. You know, David Jaffe worked on Mickey Mania. That was before he went on to greener pastures, creating such beloved franchises as Twisted Metal, God of War, Calling All Cars, and Drawn to Death. I don't know what he's up to now. He doesn't return my calls.

Theme song by David Cassel

Outro music: "Dynamite" by Dr. Casper Darling

This week: I finished Resident Evil 7, plus (most of) its DLC. George is finally playing Control. I revisited Mortal Kombat 11. George also played the FORBIDDEN XBLA GoldenEye leak. We consider the legend of the Cum Punk. Then, in Retro Corner, George gives his thoughts on Mega Man Legends, and I have to confront him with some uncomfortable truths about Tiesel Bonne...

Theme song by David Cassel

Outro music - "Out of Control" by Oingo Boingo

Friend Of The Show Dylan (@gruel_dylan on twitter) joins us for a special episode this week, because I finally played Resident Evil 7! There's also some horseshit about Hitman 3, The Medium, Far Cry 2, and, uhhh... About an hour of Gex Chat. This is the nation's hottest Gex Line. Hot geckos are waiting for YOU! 

Theme song by David Cassel

Outro music: "What's On Your Mind (Pure Energy)" by Information Society

A lot of news happened this week, in complete inverse of the usual routine. Xbox Live's price hike (and backtracking), Konami doing Thangs, Gamestop stock insanity, and more! We also talk about Donut County and... Sonic 2006... Before getting to the main topic of the week: Hitman 3! Spoiler alert: We like it a whole lot. 

Theme song by David Cassel

Outro music: "You Think I Ain't Worth A Dollar, But I Feel Like A Millionaire" by Queens of the Stone Age

This week: I played Mafia: Definitive Edition, and discuss my feelings on what was improved or made worse in the remake. George talks about another Shinya Tsukamoto movie, Vital, whereas I just rant about WandaVision. Then, in Retro Corner, George tells us all about The Legend of Dragoon, a game that was not made by Squaresoft. News to me!

Note: immediately after recording, I realized Taboo was a Nagisa Oshima movie, but its Japanese title is Gohatto, which is close enough to whatever that other movie was. So sue me, big whoop

Theme song by David Cassel