Detoxicity: By Men, About Men, For Everyone

Hey Folks! I'm excited to bring you this latest conversation, starring Damon L Jacobs, a licensed marriage and family therapist. In our chat, we discuss the intersection of mental health and sexual health. Damon shares shis personal journey of growing up gay, the impact of the AIDS crisis, and the evolution of sexual health awareness. He emphasizes the importance of body image, self-acceptance, and the role of pleasure in relationships, while also addressing the cultural influences on sexuality and the shift towards non-monogamy. The conversation highlights the significance of community, vulnerability, and finding joy and purpose in life, culminating in Damon's YouTube series "Tub Talks" that fosters open and honest discussions.

Nore Davis is a comedian, writer and actor. He has appeared on "Succession", "Boardwalk Empire", and "Last Week Tonight", in addition to a lengthy list of talk show appearances. His new special Element: A Solo Show Film is available on his website and covers several of the topics we wind up talking about in this episode.

Our conversation explores themes of healing, emotional vulnerability, and the impact of trauma on individuals and communities. We touch on the influence of religion and the intergenerational transmission of trauma. Nore and I touch on everything from superheroes and tattoos to inner child healing, the impact of family dynamics, the fear of being alone, and the importance of self-awareness. We also touch on the concept of freedom after death and the legacy we leave behind.

Nore is a thoughtful, deep cat. I hope you enjoy our conversation.

I first interviewed comedian and writer Josh Gondelman way back in Episode 39, a conversation that took place nearly four years ago. So we had a lot to catch up on. We talk about the world opening back up and how that’s had an effect on Josh’s career and personal life.  I give a shout out to his substack newsletter, and what it feels like to give advice (or more accurately: pep talks) to others. The conversation delves into empathy, social interactions, and the importance of understanding different perspectives. In this part of the conversation, Josh and I discuss the importance of growing and cultivating community. They talk about maintaining friendships and being upfront about friendship intentions. Josh emphasizes the value of being a fan of your friends and using social media mindfully to support and appreciate others. We also touch on the reticence towards earnestness and the societal pressure to be cool or aloof. I do like the zero and five birthdays, and in advance of Josh’s upcoming 4-0, we talk about what that milestone feels like for him. Josh is an amazing talented (and kind) human, and I’m psyched to welcome him back to the show.

In this episode, I’m chatting with Jayson Greene, a journalist and author based in Brooklyn, NY. Jayson is probably most-well known as a senior editor at the influential music site Pitchfork, and we kick off our conversation by discussing what got him into music journalism and writing in general. Jayson’s memoir, “Once More We Saw Stars” is a tragic account of loss, and we also touch on that. The greater part of the conversation, though, focuses on societal expectations of masculinity and how it’s impacted both our lives. Jayson shares his personal experiences of being bullied and feeling like he didn't fit (and still doesn’t fit) the traditional masculine mold. How does that traditional masculine mold help us or hurt us? How does not subscribing to gender norms affect the way we walk through the world, the way we interact with others, the way we parent? What does queerness mean? Jayson also asks me some fairly probing questions that cause me to think about issues like psychological safety and how I interact with that concept in my regular life. It’s a really great conversation, and an hour in, we realized that there was no way we were gonna touch on everything we wanted to in the time we had. So stay tuned for part 2, coming soon!

Jayson's IG: greenejayson

Hi Friends! In this episode, I interview Isaac Knox, a comedian and freestyle rapper (and Guinness world record holder!) Isaac shares his journey of becoming a freestyle rapper (because, do people dream about doing this as kids?) and his decision to move to New York. Isaac shares stories about intentionally living in his car for fairly lengthy periods of time-- on two occasions, and emphasizes the importance of staying connected to communities and institutions that need change, rather than completely disengaging. Isaac speaks passionately about his faith and being connected to the church. He also reflects on his personal journey of healing and growth after the end of his marriage.

I hope you enjoy!

Hi Friends! In this episode, I'm talking to my buddy Bryan Dunn . During our conversation, Bryan chats about his experiences growing up as a military brat (and the enhanced worldview that afforded him), and his fairly recent move from Brooklyn to upstate New York. He reflects on the social pressures and obligations of living in a big city, especially when you're in a creative field. Bryan also shares his journey as a musician and the shift in mindset that led him to be content with his artistic path. We chat a bit about middle-aged guy shit, taking care of your physical and mental health and what that looks like as one ages.

We also delve into the complexities of dealing with hurtful behavior and the roles of forgiveness and growth. It's a really involved, really vulnerable conversation, and I hope you enjoy it!

Hey everyone!

I'm bringing back my friend Ryan Bentham, who some of you may know from having appeared in three previous Detox episodes, and who others may know from the Life on the Swingset podcast.

Ryan (AKA Prof) and I talk (somewhat loosely) about sexy stuff, but we also talk about his long road back from a major health setback and how going through the experience changed his life. We talk about almost being an empty nester and what it feels like having raised two successful adult men. What does communication mean to him these days? What does gratitude mean? All this and more during our conversation. Hope you enjoy!

Brian and I befriended one another nearly two decades ago, and while we've been peripherally in touch in the years since our work relationship ended, we had our first face-to-face LONG conversation in quite some time earlier this year. Turns out Brian's made some moves since our early days. Now based in L.A., Brian discusses his upbringing, talks about his early days in the music industry (not to mention his first months and years as a New Yorker), and shares how he (accidentally) stumbled into education. It was great to reconnect and get some more context into his life. I hope you enjoy this episode!

I'm excited to welcome Benjamin Wagner back to the show! Ben is a musician and filmmaker who, in previous lives, was a high-ranking exec at MTV News as well as at what is now Meta (Facebook, Instagram, etc). Ben recently completed a film called "Friends and Neighbors", in which he charts his own journey through abuse and trauma. We talk a bit about the process of confronting such a personal topic on screen and inviting loved ones to take an active part in the journey. Zooming out from that, we also talk about the life changes Ben has made in recent years, including uprooting himself and his family and transitioning out of corporate America, and what that's done for his mental health. It's a really good conversation (and the movie's good too, I hope you all watch it once a streaming deal has been reached). Feel free to comment and share your thoughts!

Chad and I go back at least fifteen years. When we met, he was working for a gospel label, but he didn't have the "holier than thou" attitude a lot of Christians have. We became friendly, and I became more intrigued as I got to know his life a little better. He's the son of missionaries, grew up in Papua New Guinea, he's the parent of a Black child. We discuss all of this during our conversation, as well as delving into how the racial uprising of 2020 turned into a major inflection point. We also discuss issues surrounding insecurity, struggles with faith, and...to cover a fairly regular topic, how he's sustained by having (and cultivating!) a community of other men. Enjoy our conversation!