I am so excited!

Should I say it not?

While I jinx it if I say it?

Ok, I will say it. We have found it and now I can see the path again. I can see how we can move on.

What a change it has made.

It's been hard. It's been harder than I thought.

I am not going to lie. We are in no difficulties, but life is a bit uncomfortable. Not what we imagined and I miss my things, my stuff, my routine.

Try new things... they say

Step out of your comfort zone... they say

Easy, isn't it?

But there are so many comfort zones I have created I am struggling to even recognise them.

Do I really want to do it? Am I procrastinating as an excuse?

Where do I start from?

Life throws stuff at us, and people tell us: don't give up, keep going, show resilience.... and all that is good. But, is there a time to admit defeat? to change the goal? to move on?

Have you found yourself looking and using every excuse under the sun to not do something? maybe something small or something big but just not doing it.

That's what was happening to me. In fact, it has happened many times. Sometimes i did well holding back, others not so much.

Have you seen this episode of Friends. The one in which Joey "breaks the dog".

I have been thinking a lot about it recently as I found myself in a similar situation.

I am finding myself with what I always wanted: free time... and I am realising I don't know what to do with it.

Have you found yourself in the same situation? is it good, bad or neither?

Today I start the second series of this podcast. I have changed the name from "diary of a parent in lockdown" to "diary of a parent going through life" which I guess it means, I am going to share more varied stuff.

My only purpose is to open up to the difficulties of day to day any parent (dad in my case) might be feeling and how we are going through it. Sometimes we'll get it right, other times we might not.

The second series is all around the big change we have coming when we leave London and move to Amsterdam. in a few months.

It sounds obvious and everybody will say it. Not everybody needs to like me and I don't need to like everybody. Easier said than done. But this week was a crash course on it.

Do you know what I learnt? that I am a good decent person and by and large, I get along with people.

So, I can look at the exception, or I can put perspective and realise that I am a good decent people. I choose the second option.

Have a nice evening

Javier

To the risk of spoiling the episode, I'll say I am very angry today. I didn't wan to do the entry and was finding difficult to find words in between the anger.

Through the 10 minutes of the entry, I came with a couple of ideas, but one that is more powerful than the rest. Is it helping? Well, it's not changing the whole day, but it is helping me bit by bit.

Hope your day is going better

Javier