Disagree better

Disagree better

By Tammy LenskiSociety & Culture
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Disagree better episodes

  • How to confront someone without being confrontational

    Confronting is an essential negotiation, conflict resolution, and problem-solving skill. Being confrontational, though, will usually do you more harm then help. Here’s a mediator’s tip for how to confront someone and raise an issue for discussion without being aggressive or argumentative.

    Find the transcript with links here.

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    6 min
  • Surviving the conflict groan zone
    Resolving conflict and other complex problems demands that we push beyond the familiar options and explore new territory. But leaving the familiar behind is uncomfortable and sometimes unpleasant. Even so, staying in the “groan zone” and doing the important work there leads to better results.
    Show notes
    View the conflict groan zone graphic
    Sam Kaner's book
    Requesting a break to cool down
    On walking and creative problem solving
    Conversational sh**ty first drafts
    0 min
  • Managing difficult behavior
    When responding to someone else s difficult behavior during conflict, a good rule of thumb is, Use the lowest level of intervention first. Here s why this convention is useful for managing difficult behavior and a concrete example to illustrate.
    0 min
  • A good rule of thumb when responding to difficult behavior

    When responding to someone else’s difficult behavior during conflict, a good rule of thumb is, “Use the lowest level of intervention first.” Here’s why this convention is useful for managing difficult behavior and a concrete example to illustrate.

    Find the transcript with links here.

    To receive transcripts of new episodes automatically, subscribe at tammylenski.com/subscribe/.

    9 min
  • Is non-verbal communication all it’s cracked up to be?
    For decades, non-verbal communication has been lauded as an important part of establishing connection and understanding with others. Now a new study suggests non-verbals aren’t as key as we think.
    Show notes
    Developing latent semantic similarity in initial, unstructured interactions: The words may be all you need
    Why it's good to free up your working memory during difficult conversations
    0 min
  • How to practice a new behavior using rubber bands
    When I wanted to curb my habit of interrupting my husband, I turned to an old rubber band trick for practicing the replacement behavior (wait until he finishes his sentence, count to two, then speak) enough to make it stick. Here are the simple instructions and some uses.
    Show notes
    David Stiernholm's use of paper clips instead of rubber bands
    Examples of behaviors you can practice with this method
    Practicing the 90-second relationship rule when you walk through the door after work each day
    Biting your tongue instead of verbalizing criticism automatically
    Practicing a silent pause for 10 seconds instead of responding when you've been sucked into bickering
    Playing the "as if" game with yourself when you need to change your mood
    Resisting the temptation to take constant notes if you're a mediator
    0 min
  • Dealing with difficult people
    One of the most frequent questions I’m asked in my workshops is how to deal with difficult people. Here’s my strategy for dealing with difficult people and why it so consistently works.
    Show notes
    Category errors
    Reflexive loops
    Working with people instead of on them
    0 min
  • How to deal with difficult people

    How to deal with difficult people? It’s one of the most frequent questions I’m asked in my workshops and by readers, friends, and grad students. Here’s my strategy for dealing with difficult people and why it so consistently works.

    Find the transcript with links here.

    To receive transcripts of new episodes automatically, subscribe at tammylenski.com/subscribe/.

    7 min
  • De-escalating loud, angry conflict
    When someone is angry and loud, trying to control them is not only an exercise in futility, but can also have an unintended consequence it can escalate them. Here s one powerful alternative.
    0 min

About Disagree better

From the publisher's feed

How we handle conflict has an impact on the resilience of our vital relationships, the caliber of our decisions, the success of our careers, and our peace of mind. Mediator, conflict resolution…

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