Disagree better

Disagree better

By Tammy LenskiSociety & Culture
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Disagree better episodes

  • The 6 ingredients of an effective apology
    New research has identified six elements to an apology, and the more of those elements you include, the more effective your apology. But not all six elements are equally valuable. Two are particularly crucial to having your apology accepted.
    Show notes
    Jackson State mistakenly demolishes wrong house (and issues awful apology)
    An Exploration of the Structure of Effective Apologies by Roy Lewicki, Beth Polin, and Robert Lount
    Source of Roy Lewicki quote
    0 min
  • The key ingredients of an effective apology

    New research has identified six elements to an apology, and the more of those elements you include, the more effective your apology. But not all six elements are equally valuable. Two are particularly crucial to having your apology accepted.

    Find the transcript with links here.

    To receive transcripts of new episodes automatically, subscribe at tammylenski.com/subscribe/.

    4 min
  • A loving note to my mediation clients
    My friend, there are some things I want to say about mediation with me, things I hope you’ll ponder before we gather, things I hope will guide you as we talk. I may mention them a time or two during our time together.
    Show notes
    Learning what's hooked you
    Mediation is about learning
    Mediation is about the future
    Mediation is about what matters
    Mediation may make you laugh, may make you cry, may make you want to yell, may make you want to jitterbug with joy
    0 min
  • A loving letter to my mediation clients

    My friend, there are some things I want to say about mediation with me, things I hope you’ll ponder before we gather, things I hope will guide you as we talk. I may mention them a time or two during our time together.

    Find the transcript with links here.

    To receive transcripts of new episodes automatically, subscribe at tammylenski.com/subscribe/.

    5 min
  • Moving on after conflict
    Even after a dispute is resolved, conflict and tension can linger. Even when you ve made every effort to resolve a conflict, the other person may seem stuck in it still. Is there anything you can do when someone you live, work with, or serve doesn t seem to be moving on after conflict? There is, but first, you need to understand why.
    Show notes
    More about stuck stories
    More about my book, The Conflict Pivot
    One particularly challenging habit of mind in conflict
    Why some people hurry too fast from conflict to solutions
    0 min
  • When tension continues after conflict seems resolved

    Even after a dispute has been resolved, distrust and tension can linger. Even when you’ve made every effort to resolve a conflict, the other person may seem stuck in it still. Is there anything you can do when someone you live, work with, or serve doesn’t seem to be moving on after conflict? There is, but first, you need to understand why.

    Find the transcript with links here.

    To receive transcripts of new episodes automatically, subscribe at tammylenski.com/subscribe/.

    7 min
  • Overcoming resistance
    How do you reduce resistance? What are the best ways to handle difficult people? What tactics overcome impasse? How can you get someone to ___? These questions all have something in common: They position you to work on someone, instead of with them. What if we revoked our self-appointed permission to work on other people, and pushed ourselves to work with them instead? And what would it mean for the way we act and speak and manage and mediate?
    Show notes
    Evolutionary baggage
    Leading with our curiosity instead of our judgment
    Teaching ourselves to stop pushing
    Fighting the pop-psych diagnostic habit
    Becoming more vigilant about category errors
    Teaching our non-judgmental presence to stay in the room with us
    Looking for the equal human in front of us
    0 min
  • Overcoming resistance: Work with people, not on them

    How do you reduce resistance? What are the best ways to handle difficult people? What tactics overcome impasse? How can you get someone to ___? These questions all have something in common: They position you to work on someone, instead of with them.

    Find the transcript with links here.

    To receive transcripts of new episodes automatically, subscribe at tammylenski.com/subscribe/.

    6 min
  • How to influence behavior with questions
    Positive affirmations may popular, but if you want to influence behavior, questions trump statements. But not just any old questions. Two types of questions in particular can create powerful psychological leverage for changing your own and others’ behavior.
    Show notes
    The meta-analysis (also see this)
    Here's why a question like, "Will you agree not to interrupt?" is likely to yield excellent results if asked of my husband, yet be less effective if asked of me
    The power of small behavioral changes that collectively over time can have larger substantive outcomes
    "Can" vs "how can" we resolve this? (Ellen Langer)
    0 min
  • Want to influence behavior? Stop telling and ask this type of question instead

    Positive affirmations may be popular, but if you want to influence behavior, questions trump statements. But not just any old questions. One type of question in particular can create powerful psychological leverage for changing your own and others’ behavior.

    Find the transcript with links here.

    To receive transcripts of new episodes automatically, subscribe at tammylenski.com/subscribe/.

    5 min

About Disagree better

From the publisher's feed

How we handle conflict has an impact on the resilience of our vital relationships, the caliber of our decisions, the success of our careers, and our peace of mind. Mediator, conflict resolution…

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