Ever found yourself stuck in a restaurant with a menu thick enough to be a doorstop, only to be told your order needs to pass a vote? Welcome to Robert's Burgers, where our pursuit of a meal turned into a comedy of errors fit for the stage. This episode of Discount Storytime takes you along for the ride as my family and I embark on a quest for the best hamburger, only to be halted by a menu the size of a novella and a waiter who moonlights as a parliamentary procedure enthusiast.

Music: "Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay 

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Join me, Coffee McCann, as we read the long-lost final draft of the classic tale, discovered by our global team of lost literature explorers. Amidst humorous banter and heartwarming exchanges, follow Jack on his adventure up the beanstalk to a world filled with surprises and laughter.

Don't miss this captivating retelling that promises to entertain while leaving you pondering the true nature of our beloved fairy tale characters. Tune in for a story that not only makes you smile but also offers a thought-provoking take on a timeless narrative, or something.

Content Warning for gore and profanity.

Music:
"Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay
Siren Song by Victory Day from Pixabay
"Kids Cooking"  by Anastasia Kir from Pixabay
Sound Effects by Pixabay
Sound Effect by freesound_community from Pixabay

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Ever stumbled upon something so peculiar that it sets off an unexpected adventure? I had such an experience at a bustling downtown market where a massive, mysterious coin caught my eye. This odd discovery led me beneath the ordinary surface of city life, revealing a secret passage and introducing me to the enigmatic world of a dark cult.

We still have free stickers left for those who want to answer the challenge question at the end. Good luck! :-)

Content Warning for profanity.

Music:
"Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay
"Sad Walz-Calm Classical Piano Music" by Calvin Clavier from Pixabay
"Let the Mystery Unfold" by Geoff Harvey from Pixabay
Girl Scream Sound, Rocks falling, and Thud Sound Effects by freesound_community from Pixabay
Sound Effects by Pixabay

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Ever wondered what happens when a high-powered CEO returns to her hometown for Thanksgiving and finds more than just cranberry sauce waiting for her? Join us on a whimsical journey with Wilhelmina, who, despite her corporate success, feels the blues creeping in this holiday season. Back in the charming town of Misty Canker, she stumbles upon a familiar face from her past, Tom Humdrum, igniting a delightful mix of nostalgia and romantic tension. As the holiday preparations unfold in a flurry of laughter and chaos, the story takes a heartwarming twist filled with both humor and mystery, exploring the potential for a rekindled romance amidst the joys and surprises of Thanksgiving.

Our sponsor this week is "Leche Bell Grande."  Enjoy!

We still have free stickers left for those who want to answer the challenge question at the end. Good luck! :-)

Content Warning: Horror elements, Profanity

Music:
"Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay
"Romantic Adventure" by Pavel Bekirov from Pixabay
“Funk Upbeat” by Mikhail Smusev from Pixabay
Turkey Sound Effects by freesound_community from Pixabay
taco-bell-bong-sfx sound effect by by James White from Pixabay
Sound Effects by Pixabay

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What if your basset hounds were keeping secrets that could shake your world? Join me as I unravel a day in the life of Doug, where his lovable companions, Cooper and Alice, might just be gossiping behind his back. From a mysterious encounter with his neighbor's pug to a disapproving bark over the phone, the suspense builds. Reflecting on how our actions echo through our lives, this tale will have you questioning the depth of your own pets' secret lives.

Our sponsor today is Bland O's Cereal, we make everything else taste better!

Tune in, because this episode promises a concoction of mystery, humor, and heartfelt messages that will brighten your day!

Music:
"Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay
"Kids Cooking"  by Anastasia Kir from Pixabay
"Martians on the Lawn" by Geoff Harvey from Pixabay
Sound Effects by Pixabay
Angry Dog Bark by by freesound_community from Pixabay

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Prepare yourself for a captivating journey through the realms of cinema and the afterlife in our latest episode of Discount Storytime. Join us with our extraordinary guest, Taggart Brumble, as he takes us on a nostalgic trip to the early 1900s with "All Things Movie." Experience the scandal of a silent film that once left audiences scandalized, complete with its original score for an authentic touch.

Then, we venture into the humorously twisted afterlife with "Garden Heaven," where Reed, our spirited protagonist, encounters an unexpected fate at the Pearly Gates. With budget constraints in heaven and hell, Reed is faced with his personal challenge: an eternity of gardening, his least favorite task in life. Guided by his host angel, Maya, Reed discovers the comedic quirks of his celestial surroundings. It's a story brimming with laughs and unexpected turns as we explore the lighter side of life's ultimate journey. Don't miss this amusing and nostalgic episode filled with intriguing stories and a unique take on the great beyond.

Music:
"Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay
"Harp glissando wich chimes" by Shiden Beats Music from Pixabay
"Happy Gospel Choir and Piano" by Julius H. from Pixabay
"1900 Edison phonograph playing music" from Pixabay
"Showtime-Cabaret-Revue" by Julius H. from Pixabay
Sound Effects by Pixabay

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Join us for an unpredictable ride in this episode of Discount Storytime, featuring "CyCop the Cyclops Cop" and the quirky tale of "Handwashing Day."

Detective Patel and Officer Cyclops find themselves tangled in a web of mystery and humor as they chase down a robber with a suspiciously similar appearance to Officer Cyclops.

In "Handwashing Day" a second grade class learns a new technique to know when they've washed their hands long enough.

Content Warning for profanity.

Music and Sound Effects:
"Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay
"Strange Detectives" by Noru from Pixabay
"Going Wacky" Music by Geoff Harvey from Pixabay
Sound Effects by Pixabay

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Step into the eerie world of Discount Storytime's first annual Halloween SpookyCast, where history and horror collide in a time-bending adventure! What happens when a time machine tweaks the tales of terror from classic horror films of the 70s and 80s? Professor Theodos Crumblesquat, the brilliant mind behind the time-traveling marvel, joins us for a wild ride through iconic moments of horror history. From a sinister pub in Yorkshire to the infamous Bates High School Prom, and even an encounter in Springwood, Ohio, we explore the chaotic consequences of altering the past. Strap in for a rollercoaster of suspense and laughter as we toy with the delicate dance of time and fiction.

Movie Spoilers: American Werewolf in London (1981), Carrie (1976), The Fly (1986), Friday the 13th (1980) ,Halloween (1978), Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), Pet Sematary (1989)

Content Warning for profanity.

Music and Sound Effects:
"Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay
"Little Toy House" by Geoff Harvey from Pixabay
"Halloween (Surfing with Spooks)" by AlexGrohl from Pixabay
"Camera Flash" sound effect by Sound Effect by Štefan Baša from Pixabay
All other sound effects by Pixabay

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This week's story is "The Box of Juicillado". Obviously Mr. Poe wrote all the good bits.  Our sponsor for today is "Little Buzzkills Daycare"

Enjoy!

Content Warning for profanity.

Click above to send us a message, or email at [email protected].  Our website is www.discountstorytime.com where you can find more episodes.

Music:
"Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay
"Little Steps" by Geoff Harvey from Pixabay
"Amandon- Sad, Dark, Alone"  by Pimpitcha Schlimbach from Pixabay
Sound Effects by Pixabay

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This week's story is "Tom and Zeke". Our sponsor for today is "Alarm Buddy" - I would have written summaries for you, but I overslept. Enjoy!

Content Warning for misogyny, alcohol use, cigarette use,profanity, and violence.

Click above to send us a message, or email at [email protected].  Our website is www.discountstorytime.com where you can find more episodes.

Music:
"Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay
"Light Step"  by Jiwon (Musician) Nahee (Graphic Designer) from Pixabay
“Acoustic Motivation” by Yurii Semchyshyn from Pixabay
Sound Effects by Pixabay

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Support the show

Find Discount Storytime on Bluesky

email: [email protected]

Thank you for being awesome listeners!!!