Discovering Our Scars

Show hosts, Stephanie Kostopoulos and Beth Demme, share their experience with forgiveness. They talk about why there are times it is more powerful to forgive and remember than it is to forgive and forget. Also, we sometimes think of forgiveness as a response to an apology, but Steph and Beth have discovered that forgiveness isn’t necessarily tied to an apology. In fact, they’ve discovered that forgiveness is a choice. A choice that is powerful when applied to others, and ourselves.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod50
Words we use: https://dospod.us/words
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about silence. They reflect on why it’s important to have silence, but why it can be hard to come by. Steph loves to be in the quiet of the woods, but Beth tends to be a verbal processor who’s never really in silence because of a condition called Tinnitus. They also talk about why we tend to avoid silence. Is it because it seems heavy (like a moment of silence), lonely, or even boring? If so, what are we missing out on when we fill every space? Are we, on some level, afraid or unwilling to be alone with our thoughts? Whether you’re someone who values silence or someone who needs noise, you’ll find something in this conversation that seems like it’s just for you.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod49
Words we use: https://dospod.us/words
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about the difference between empathy and pity. Why do we feel sorry for people, and how do we communicate those feelings? How can we communicate empathy in a way that builds relationships instead of cutting off communication? Steph and Beth reflect on how it has felt to receive pity from other people and how that has informed the way they communicate to others. They also discuss how examining why we pity another person can produce self-awareness and personal growth.

Full transcript and show notes here:
https://bit.ly/dospod48
Words we use:
https://dospod.us/words
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

In Episode 47, Steph and Beth are joined by special guest, Daniel Kuykendall. Steph and Daniel worked together at Apple about a decade ago and they’ve been friends ever since. Daniel is a commercial photographer and videographer, but he’s a guest on this episode to talk about something much more personal—his life as a Type 1 Diabetic. This is an honest conversation about the emotional and financial costs of a lifelong illness. Daniel shares openly about what life is like with an insulin pump and how he deals with the constant finger pricks and fluctuating blood sugar. He talks about some of the thoughtless comments people make and how he’s learned to deal with insensitive questions. Steph and Beth then invite you to reflect on how you’ve reacted to people who are dealing with lifelong illness and how Daniel’s story might impact your reactions.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod47
Words we use: https://dospod.us/words
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

In Episode 46, Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about what it’s like to lose someone during a pandemic. There has been a lot of attention on COVID deaths—rightly so—but how has COVID changed our grieving process even when COVID is not the cause of death? Steph shares stories about her grandmother who passed away (not from COVID) on the morning this episode was recorded. Beth talks about how COVID has disrupted funerals and memorial service rituals we normally rely on. COVID is a shared experience that seems to be making hard things harder. Then in Slice of Life, Steph and Beth each share a story about something happening in their lives right now.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod46
Words we use: https://dospod.us/words
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

In Episode 45, Steph and Beth talk about the #MeToo movement and some of their #MeToo moments. They explore when the movement started and how they became aware of it. They have a healthy discussion about what they each think the phrase “sexual harassment” means (or doesn’t). Steph shares about being at an industry event and being touched inappropriately by an executive. Beth shares how memories of #MeToo moments from years ago linger and wonders out loud if her 40-something self would respond differently than her 20-something self. These experiences are important for women (and men!) to not only acknowledge, but talk about openly. When we shy away from bringing these incidents to light, we create an environment where they can fester. Then in the Questions for Reflection, they invite you to reflect on the #MeToo movement and whether you’ve had your own #MeToo moments.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod45
Words we use: https://dospod.us/words
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

In Episode 44, Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about the pain of invisible emotional scars. If we break a bone, it gets set in a cast and no one doubts our pain. No one can see our emotional scars, but they manifest in a variety of ways. The cast tells the world we need to heal, but there’s nothing to signal our need for emotional healing—or is there? Steph and Beth talk about reacting to bad drivers and what to do when customer service becomes customer dis-service. Also, how does the current mask debate reflect those internal, invisible, emotional scars that too many people are carrying? Join Steph and Beth for a revealing conversation about the pain of invisible scars.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod44
Words we use: https://dospod.us/words
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

In Episode 43, Steph and Beth are joined by Jamie Kocur, author of My CCM Soundtracked Life: How I Became Disillusioned With the Music That Once Captivated Me. Jamie grew up a church-goer, but in her teens she became the kind of Christian who listened to only CCM (Contemporary Christian Music) and minimized her exposure to secular influences. She says she was “quietly judgmental” during that time. Working with the African Children’s Choir, she experienced a spontaneous, personal form of worship. When she returned to the US, the worship style that had captivated and sustained her, now felt empty. It felt like it was manufactured happiness, rather than sincere worship. Feeling disconnected in worship led her to question other things about her faith. Jamie has an honest conversation with Steph and Beth about what that journey was like and where she finds herself now. They talk about the lie that becoming a Christian guarantees instant happiness and only happiness. And why Christians are so often defined by what they are against.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod43
Words we use: https://dospod.us/words
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

In Episode 42, Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about Beth’s first career choice—lawyer. It seems like people love to hate lawyers, until they need one. They talk about everything from OJ Simpson to Casey Anthony to downloading a will from the internet (Spoiler Alert: Don’t Do That!). Are lawyers all in it just for the money, or is there something else driving them? Why did Beth choose to become a lawyer? What are some of the differences between criminal law and civil law? What kind of law did Beth practice? This is an honest conversation that will give you an insider’s perspective on the practice of law, for better or for worse.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod42
Words we use: https://dospod.us/words
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308

In Episode 41, Steph and Beth explore the art of asking for what you want. You have to know what you want in order to ask for it. Voice assistants like Siri, and Alexa (Steph and Beth’s favorite!) can only respond to a command when it is clearly stated. This translates into our human interactions, too. Whether you are dealing with a boss, a co-worker, a vendor, or even a sub-contractor on a home improvement project, you have to know what you want so you can clearly communicate your expectations. Sometimes when women are clear they are perceived as being bossy. Why is that and what can we do about it? What is the difference between someone who is a bully and someone who is bossy? Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about how voice assistants are teaching us all to be more clear.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod41
Words we use: https://dospod.us/words
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308