Discovering Our Scars

Virtue signaling generally refers to an empty act, but is virtue signaling all bad? We each have virtues that we deem important and sometimes we want to signal them. Plus, awareness is valuable and what seems like a meaningless gesture might bring attention that generates change. What do we do when companies signal virtues we disagree with? Do we stop doing business with them or is that taking it too far?  Steph and Beth talk about the Capitol riots, Breast Cancer awareness month, the ALS Ice Bucket challenge, corporate virtue signaling, Chick-Fil-A, and more as they explore the concept of virtue signaling.

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How often have you heard someone say, “I’m a good person. I’m not prejudiced!”? Are the two mutually exclusive? Is our desire to label people good and bad at the heart of our inability to admit and address our prejudices? Steph and Beth admit and explore some of their prejudices, where they come from, and how they impact their interactions even today. Steph shares about a prejudice it was hard to admit to Beth. Beth talks about a recent experience at work that opened her eyes to a prejudice she didn’t realize she had. This is an honest conversation about the reality that prejudice exists, even among “good” people.

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On January 6, 2020, rioters entered the U.S. Capitol in an attempt to overthrow the government and thwart the certification of the Electoral College results. We’ve launched into 2021 with words straight out of the history books—insurrection, sedition, coup, and treason. Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about how this event has affected them. What is their understanding of what led to this? Was it predictable, surprising, or both? Whether you are still trying to process how you feel about what happened on January 6 or you’ve already moved on, we hope you find this conversation helpful.

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Six years ago Steph’s friend David began revealing to people that he is gay. In this episode, he joins Steph and Beth for an honest conversation about what that was like. Straight people never have to “come out” to their parents, declaring their attraction to another gender.  When we step back and look at what our LGBTQ+ friends go through, we can see how strange it must be. For David, being honest about his attraction to men meant relinquishing leadership and teaching roles at his church and risking a rift with close family and friends. David is generous in telling his story. He talks about his surprise and appreciation for the people who chose not to reject him and he extends tremendous grace to those folks who tried to express their concern for his eternal salvation based on the “choice” they believed he was making. David even pauses to point out that life for him as a white gay man is privileged, unlike the lives of transgender persons of color. This graciousness pervades David’s story and his outlook on life.

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A mentor once told Steph that her hobby and her job had to be two different things. On this episode, Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about jobs and hobbies.  The dichotomy between the work you do for money and the things you do for fun is an old way of looking at things that doesn’t represent today’s lifestyles. To really unpack that question, Steph and Beth have a conversation about hobby stores, the TV show The Office, pets, video games, and more. Plus, they delve into today’s trend to monetize every aspect of our time, including our hobbies. As always, the show ends with questions for reflection to help you apply the conversation in your own life.

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Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about the use of #Blessed. While it can be intended to show appreciation, it also has some troubling implications. If you aren’t #blessed, are you #cursed? Also, what do we mean when we say “God Bless America?” And why do we say “God bless you” when someone sneezes? It turns out if you sneeze around Steph, she probably won’t say a thing! How can we discern people’s motives or intentions about #Blessed and does it even matter? Is there a difference between being #Blessed and seeing #Blessings in your life?

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2020 has been a year like no other. It brought us together and tore us apart all at the same time. We endured debates about the efficacy of wearing a mask AND we endured presidential debates. Police misconduct and brutality brought our need for anti-racist ideas to the forefront. And in the midst of it all we stopped shaking hands, eating in restaurants, and traveling on planes. Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about the highs and lows of 2020.

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Just as Samuel Moore-Sobel was about to start his sophomore year in high school, his face was burned by sulfuric acid. In a flash, his life was changed forever. Samuel endured many surgeries to address the physical injuries, but soon he realized the emotional trauma he suffered was just as real as the burns on his face. In this episode, Samuel joins Steph and Beth for an honest conversation about how his physical and emotional scars led him to a new understanding of the universality of suffering.

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What does it mean to “cancel” someone? Why does it happen and who gets to decide? Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about canceling, boycotting, and harnessing the power of group think on social media. They talk specifically about JK Rowling and questions about her support for transgender individuals, but also about the broader question of why we want to cancel the people we disagree with on political or social issues. And, what do we do about celebrities like Bill Cosby and Michael Jackson? Does the concept of cancel culture apply to them?

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When we are young children, we think our parents are practically super-human. We think they can do no wrong. We think they follow the rules, especially the ones they set. But, at some point, we realize they are just humans who make mistakes and sometimes break the rules—even rules they come up with themselves. When Steph was 14-years old, her father revealed that he had another daughter; a child born before he met Steph’s mom. Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about how our own self-confidence can be shaken when our confidence in our parents takes a hit. Steph and Beth also talk about how ideas about God as “the Father” can elevate our ideas about dads (or lower our ideas about God). Ultimately, accepting our parents’ flaws can be a pathway to self-acceptance.

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