Discovering Our Scars

Steph and Beth are joined by Rev. Betsy Ouellette Zierden for an honest conversation about how we tend to hold onto ideas that we know don’t work. Sometimes we have ideas about the Bible, God, our family of origin, or even ourselves that help us for a time, but then get in our way. Steph had to let go of her ideas about the importance of job security in order to leave her job at Apple and launch her full-time DIY business. Betsy, an ordained elder in the United Methodist Church, had to let go of the idea that God didn’t call women to preach and pastor. Beth had to let go of ideas that connected her self-worth to her productivity. Steph, Beth, and Betsy talk about everything from systemic racism to religion the Bible and more in this episode.

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Life is a mixture of the good and bad. Sometimes the tough experiences leave scars—physical and emotional—but those experiences also form who we are. Scars are reminders of the hard moments and tough experiences, but they also prove that we are capable of healing. Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about their scars and the gratitude they feel for the healing those scars represent, both physical and emotional.

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Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod59
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A conspiracy theory used to mean an idea that was completely on the fringe, but today it seems there are a growing number of conspiracy theories and an increasing number of people willing to take them at face value. To explore this phenomenon, Steph and Beth go inside their own experiences with conspiracy theories. For many years, Steph believed the moon landing was a hoax. Similarly, when Beth’s children were young she worried there was a link between autism and vaccines. How did they navigate through those conspiracy theories and how does that help them navigate new conspiracy theories today? They also have an honest conversation about how much Christianity can seem like a conspiracy theory even though it isn’t.

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Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod58
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In Steph’s work as a DIY’er on YouTube she often gets comments telling her to get back in the kitchen. The title Episode 57 comes straight from one of those comments. Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about what’s at the heart of these comments and why they aren’t okay. Do the men who make these comments realize how insecure it makes them sound? Do they realize how demeaning it is to suggest that a woman’s “place” is in the kitchen? What’s the deal with the idea of a “resting B___ face” and why isn’t there a male counterpart? Steph and Beth talk about using power tools, feminism, egalitarianism, gender identity, and more.

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Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod57
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In these highly polarized times, can people with completely different political views have an honest conversation? Is there value in this kind of conversation? Steph and Beth invite Steph’s friend Daniel back to the podcast. He’s a conservative with well-researched and strongly-held opinions who was willing to give it a try. They talk about some tools that are helpful when engaging with people who disagree and then delve into tough issues including white supremacy, abortion, and the 2020 Presidential Election. After you listen, you can decide for yourself if a conservative and a liberal can have an honest conversation about politics and whether it’s even worth it.

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Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod56
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Sometimes we just have to say it: life is a lot right now. From COVID-19 to the upcoming election, our relationships are strained, our nerves are fried, and our personal emotional reserves are nearly depleted. Differing political viewpoints and differing ideas about public health have always existed, so what is it about this particular season that makes it feel heavier? In this episode, Steph shares her decision to fire her long-time recovery sponsor and how that led to an incident of self-harm.  She and Beth talk about what prompted her to fall back to an unhealthy coping mechanism and what she will do differently going forward. If you’ve felt sick and tired lately, this episode will resonate with you.

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Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod55
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We each have different hats we wear at work and at home, but do we also wear masks that hide who we truly are? Are there times when it is healthy and appropriate to hide our feelings? Steph and Beth have an honest conversation wearing masks and why it’s important not to wear a mask so long you lose track of who you are. Steph asks if we can safely put on the mask for the person we want to be (like we would dress for the job we want) or is that unhealthy? Beth realizes, almost mid-sentence, that she is old school when it comes to job interview attire. There is also talk about the ways that people sometimes hold up mirrors so they never have to reveal themselves, always reflecting ourselves back to us. This episode even includes an honest conversation about heaven and hell and the masks church folks wear. Also -- stay tuned for a good chuckle about pronunciations.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod54
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Money is something that is essential and yet it’s one of those things we are taught not to talk about. In fact, culture says it’s downright rude to discuss money. The reality is many of us are carrying around money scars. Steph and Beth both share honestly about the money messages communicated to them as they were growing up. Beth gently teases Steph about Steph’s excellent credit score, and shares a life hack for how she recently gained fifty additional points on her credit score. This is an honest conversation about how fear and anxiety about money can create scars that impact our financial present and future.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod53
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Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about dreaming big and being ready for your dreams to come true. They talk about whether there is a difference between an idea, a goal, and a dream. They also address the reality that we sometimes let other people discourage our dreams. Steph and Beth both share about dreams that have come true and some that are still in the “maybe” phase. They offer Questions for Reflection for you to think about how dreaming big applies to you and they close the show with Slice of Life, a chat about what’s happening now.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod52
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For the first time ever, Steph and Beth host two special guests at the same time, twin sisters Pam Bates and Paula Patty. Steph and Beth ask all the questions you’ve ever wanted to ask twins, but were afraid to ask. Do they sometimes feel each other’s pain? Do they have the same likes and dislikes? Pam and Paula have just released their first book, The Most Amazing Harvest: The Man Behind the Story. The book is the story of an amazing community event that happened when Pam’s late husband Carl was diagnosed with terminal cancer shortly before harvest time. Pam and Paula talk with Steph and Beth about what it was like to collaborate on their book and what it’s like to collaborate on life together.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://bit.ly/dospod51
Words we use: https://dospod.us/words
Voicemail & text: (850) 270-3308