Discovering Our Scars

What is prayer? Where, how, and why do people do it? Is prayer about changing God’s mind? Are prayer and meditation the same thing? Steph and Beth tackle all of these questions and more. Beth shares why she doesn’t pray in the bathroom, but Steph gives her a new perspective that leaves her re-thinking her position. Steph and Beth talk about pre-written prayers that are meaningful to them, like the Serenity Prayer and the Covenant Prayer, but they also acknowledge there are a lot of clichés about prayer that muddy the waters. Why are some prayers answered, while others seem to be ignored and how have Steph and Beth handled being on both ends of that spectrum? This honest conversation about prayer will probably encourage you in some ways, but frustrate you in others. That’s what real conversation does.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://dospod.us/e12

9/11 was a touchstone moment. It defined our country for a time, and in some ways it defines the world for Steph’s generation. In this Episode, Steph and Beth have an honest conversation about how 9/11 challenged and changed some of their perceptions, while also stirring up their patriotism. Steph reads an excerpt from her book where she talks about what it was like to have a brother in the Air Force, deployed to Afghanistan in the wake of the 9/11 attack. Together they wonder if they’ve talked about 9/11 enough and they consider what they could say. They even delve into the question: Did God make the 9/11 attack happen?

Full transcript and show notes here: https://dospod.us/e11

Steph and Beth have their very first guest! Steph’s mom, Vicki, stops by to discuss why she and Steph are not friends. They have an amazing relationship built on mutual respect, dialogue, and having fun together, but they are NOT friends. Even now that they are colleagues and business partners, they still aren’t friends. Beth shares why she takes the same approach with her kids—choosing motherhood over friendship. In this episode, Beth reminds Steph of the first time they met (which Steph didn’t remember!) and how Vicki was instrumental in that meeting. This Episode is packed with emotional moments, including Vicki’s emotional re-telling of how it felt for her when Steph told her she was dealing with Non-Suicidal Self-Injury.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://dospod.us/e10

According to Myers-Briggs, Steph is an ISTJ. Beth is an ESFJ. What’s it like when an introvert and an extrovert try to create together? How does the introvert make sure she’s heard? How does the extrovert make sure she’s listening? These personality tendencies can be overcome, but how? In this episode, we explore how extroverts and introverts both gain energy and how they can do that without diminishing or belittling the other. You’ll also hear Steph have a physical reaction to Beth’s declaration that she enjoys small talk. And, Beth admits she thought interrupting people was a way to show interest.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://dospod.us/e9

Steph and Beth both used social media long before they were creating online content. This episode is a conversation about how they stay emotionally healthy in the midst of a push to share more and more online. Beth shares why she loves Twitter, and Steph shares why she prefers Instagram. They talk about how their online interactions have changed as social media has changed, and as their work has become increasingly reliant on social media. Find out why Steph hides most people on Facebook and what happened when she got called out at work for something she posted. What stresses Beth out on social media and how does it suit her extroverted tendencies? This is an honest conversation about the reality that we each spend a lot of time on social media and in online spaces, and we need to maintain a healthy online selfie.

Full transcript and show notes: https://dospod.us/e8

What does it feel like to be depressed? What do you do if someone you care about is depressed? Can a person be depressed without being suicidal? Steph and Beth talk about this and more on this episode of Discovering Our Scars. Steph shares about being diagnosed with depression at age 14. Beth shares about a time she correctly predicted she would be incorrectly diagnosed as bipolar. They both talk about why they think therapy is a valuable tool for every person, and why medication is right for some, but not all, folks. You’ll get some tools for your toolkit (you can borrow some of Steph’s) and some practical tips about how to react if someone you care about is dealing with depression.

Full transcript and show notes: https://dospod.us/e7

How often does someone else tell you what you “should” do? Whether it’s said with the best of intentions or as a passive-aggressive ploy, Steph and Beth have had enough of it. They explore some of the “shoulds” friends, family, and society have laid on them. From career choices, to family choices, to how they live and spend their free time, they’ve both received a lot of “shoulds” and even been guilty of “shoulding” on themselves. In this honest conversation, Steph and Beth explore how to respond to both internal and external “shoulds” and discern which ones to keep and which ones to delete.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://dospod.us/e6

Steph and Beth are both Christians, though one prefers to call herself a Christ-follower. One goes to church weekly, one is comfortable not attending church regularly. They set out to discuss some of the most common clichés about Christians and end up talking about what irks them most about other Christians. The cliché Christian isn’t just a problem for those outside Christianity! Steph and Beth find that even as Christian insiders, they too worry about Christians who are overly judgmental, hypocritical, anti-LGBTQ+, and closed-minded. Listen in on an honest conversation that they admit makes them truly uncomfortable.

Full transcript and show notes: https://dospod.us/e5

What is the difference between anger and rage? Steph and Beth have both struggled with anger and rage. In this episode they explore what it was like at its worst. They discuss how rage manifested itself as anger plus a destructive action or behavior. Steph took it out on herself and Beth took it out on her kids. This episode’s honest conversation also leads them to discover an important link in their individual struggles—rage was worse when life felt out of control. They also both found that unforgiveness was holding them back and feelings they thought could be denied or managed just waited and festered. 

Listen to what they’ve learned over the years and how it is that neither of them struggles with rage these days. Listen in as they explore what healthy coping mechanisms have replaced #ragebursts. They also delve into the idea that hurting others is more socially acceptable than hurting yourself. Steph was sent to a mental hospital for hurting herself. What would have happened if she had hurt the person she was actually mad at?

Full Transcript and show notes: https://dospod.us/e4

Beth thought she was having surgery to remove an ovary covered in cysts. After an initial scare, she had been pain free for months. Her bloodwork showed she was cancer free and her doctors reassured her the surgery was almost routine. Ovarian cysts are a common problem for women, there was nothing to be worried about. But during the surgery, the surgeon suspected the problem was more serious. Within a few days, pathology confirmed his suspicions. Beth’s ovary wasn’t covered in cysts, it had instead been consumed by a cancerous Granulosa Cell tumor. He told Beth the news she had convinced herself she would never hear, “Beth, you have ovarian cancer.”

In this episode, Steph and Beth explore what it was like for Beth to hear that news, what life was like after that, and what she’s learned about how to talk to people with cancer.

Full transcript and show notes here: https://dospod.us/e3