Discussing Nothing

Oompa Loompa doopidy doo, we have a brand new super fight for you. Oompa Loompa doopidy dee, who will win? Just listen and see! Move aside, Animal Farm, there's a new analogy for Marxist theory in town: a fight between Oompa Loompas and Vampires. Hampered by weak hamstrings, and presumably battling unemployment, will five Oompa Loompas have what it takes to defeat their blood-sucking overlord? Find out what Ross thinks as Tristan and Alex battle it out for another super fight episode!

*DISCLAIMER: Please forgive the audio issues at the beginning of this video! Normal audio quality does resume at 7 minutes in. We apologise to your ears for any distress. Thank you!*

Life ain't no picnic, especially when you're trying to impress Archduke Ross! For this episode of Discussing Nothing, Emma and Tristan meet head to head for the very first time. Who will emerge victorious, and win the title of "Best Picnic Idea Person in the YouMore Office"? I mean, who wouldn't want that etched onto a plaque on their desk, right? What will Ross decide, the decadent excess and quintessentially British spread put out by Tristan, or Emma's selection of classic picnic treats?

Remember the alphabet? The thing that goes "A, B, C, D" and so on? If you do, then I'm sure this week's episode will tackle a question you've been asking yourself for many-a-year: What is the best thing beginning with "B"? Bananas? Boomerangs? A banana boomerang? Well, it's none of those things, but I think Alex and Aalyn definitely missed a trick by not hurling banana boomerangs at each other from across the office. Alex and Aalyn are no strangers to conflict. From what colour the YouMore office wall is painted to the amount of praise they should give Ross (the answer is always none), you won't find these two agreeing on much. Find out how they got on in their grudge match for determining the best B-item now!

Edinburgh's most ridiculous podcast has another Super Fight in store! You've seen an energy drink-fuelled honey badger take on a mind reading, hummus making pirate, now buckle up for the next bout. It's a Kung Fu Reggae Band vs a grizzly bear inhibited by the hiccups and a foam finger. What have Alex and Tristan got up their sleeves to argue their case? Do Tristan's off-beat heroes have what it takes to stop Alex's inconvenienced hibernator, or will they have their steel pulse cut short? It's neck and neck, so find out who can beat the dreadlock and who's going to be handed their UB40 in defeat!

What is the best thing in the world beginning with A? No, Alex didn't pick himself. Somewhat surprisingly for this A-loving carnivore, Alex opted for the worldwide symbol of gentrification: the avocado. Tristan's weapon of choice to combat Alex's avocado? The destroyer of the morning, the bringer of football, the time when it is acceptable to have a beer: the afternoon! Let these A-rated titans of the YouMore office battle it out in front of the ever-fair, ever-just judge: Ross. What will he decide is the best thing beginning with A? The versatile avocado pear, or Tristan's favourite time of day?

If you were Prime Minister, what would you make illegal? For team YouMore, the topics up for discussion were seasonal weather, and sports-watching pub-goers... Who said we don't talk about the big issues? Yes, that's right. Emma wants to make WINTER illegal. That doesn't mean simply renaming the winter months, or just pretending it isn't cold outside. She means actually making the abstract concept of the season of winter, as well as its physical form that manifests itself as biting winds and perennial darkness, ILLEGAL. Winter is abolished. But has Emma even considered the polar bears? What will they do when what little ice they have left in their Arctic home melts for the final time, just so Emma doesn't have to wear an oodie for a few short months? And then we have Aalyn's proposal. Ban sports from being shown in pubs, and other public institutions. For a large chunk of the populace that calls ole Albion its home, the pub is a sacred place. And, some would say, gathering there to watch "the match" is a significant part of British culture. But can that excuse the rudeness? The sheer insistence of ignoring the conversation at hand, just to watch another 0-0 draw? And have you even thought about the health and safety? Have you? The number of people we see tumbling to their deaths because they got distracted by the TV in a pub is endless. When will we learn? No wonder the NHS is getting overwhelmed... See what Ross, faced with another life-altering decision to make, decides will be illegal. Will Emma turn Scotland into a tropical paradise 365 days of the year, or will Aalyn manage to bring down a British institution as sacred as tea and crumpets? Listen to find out!

Everyone likes a Sunday roast, but we all have our favourites. That's the topic of discussion today: what is the best roast? Alex and Ross, two deeply opinionated individuals at the best of times, attempt to put their differences aside to come up with the top 5 roast dinners. Chicken? Lamb? A nut roast (don't be silly)? Who knows?! See what team YouMore land on for their best roast dinners!

Your favourite podcast for absurd conversation is tackling another mind-boggling conundrum as Alex and Tristan battle it out once again. But they will not be doing the fighting themselves, of course. In Alex's corner is a vicious honey badger, one of nature's most fearsome fighters, armed with five energy drinks and riding a segway. Sounds fun. In Tristan's corner he has a mind-reading pirate with the power to turn all it touches into hummus. Shiver me timbers, what a delicious face-off we have in store for you! Of course, mediated by Ross who will use all his insight and wisdom to determine the winner of this battle for the ages. Fighters, begin!

The Discussing Nothing podcast makes its long awaited return - and what a comeback it is, ladies and gentlemen! Buckle up to hear about all the things you never thought about, and probably never will! The first episode of this revamped second season sees two heavyweights of the YouMore office face off against one another. It's Alex vs Tristan. It's road rage vs democratic voting. Which would you get rid of? Does road rage have benefits? Would the world really be that much worse if our next prime minister was decided with an actual race? Who knows... It's up to Ross to decide!

We have a habit of talking about the inane and irrelevant. But no more, I say! This episode we get real with some pressing issues, brought to light by recent events in Auld Reekie.

Like the elves leaving Middle Earth, the bin men left Edinburgh's streets to send Scotland's capital into a state of anarchy and disarray. Elephant-sized rats roamed the alleyways and pungent fumes filled the previously fresh air.

With this in mind, Alex and Tristan take their minds to an even darker place than they experienced during the strikes. What public service would cause the biggest issues? Would we be witness to a Purge-like society with the absence of police? Would torrents of excrement flow down the Royal Mile without plumbing (gardyloo!)? Would we experience an age of witch doctors and mage-craft in the absence of healthcare (or would it just be like America)? Who knows! Listen to find out.