Diving Into The Shadow

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Chapter 2 - Episode 8 :Coyote Bait

Finding hobbies in your birth chart, a realization, s club 7, quitting before getting good, sadness, songwriting, and how the 3 of wands indicates emotional avoidance.

Why I can't get my phone back, temperance revisited, more insight into March 2022, mom bullies, reading the audience and I clarify 2 important details at the end.  I also used the words "fled the state" at the end of the episode; but would have liked to have said, "left the state to seek help." My sense of humor gets the best of me and sometimes people take it seriously.

The trauma of becoming homeless, the fire, PTSD, psych ward story, capricorns, my cousin and reading the audience.

https://www.slhn.org/lehighton

Why I love the number 5, the struggle of expressing duality, clues in your birth chart house signs, a story about vacation with Aunt Debbi & Uncle Allan, and I read the audience again. 

https://www.slhn.org/lehighton

The weight of my abuse resulted in a 3-week stay in a behavioral health unit. I talk about my experience, medication, Venus/Pluto conjunctions, the 3 of pentacles, my instagram drawings, the road ahead, and more.

https://www.slhn.org/lehighton

6 of cups, what I did with my wedding ring, and the time I performed witch craft. I also sing again - this time, you don't have to read between the lines.

Show Notes:

Lyrics - I Started A Fire

I started a fire

Now they know you're a liar

Feel your flames getting higher

Coming down to the wire

I painted a story

You used it to destroy me

Called on your army

To lure me and harm me

You stole my companions

They left me stranded

You're so damn underhanded

And they're just as branded

They watched and they waited

For the girl they now hated

To finally suffer

Keep their secrets all covered

I had to accept it

Was alone in the trenches

Did what was expected

To go undetected

You almost lost her

Among all the fodder

If no one believes her

We don't have to fear her

But I walk in the shadows 

I find comfort in battle

It's like controlling cattle

With the sound of a rattle

People start to awake now

Understand what I say now

Feel encouraged to pray now

To keep evil at bay now

The lesson you now know

As you walk through the cold snow

Be careful what you throw

When you dive in the shadow

When you dive in the shadow

I started a fire

Now they know you're a liar

I started a fire 

Now they know you're a liar

Now they know you're a liar

I tried to leave my husband and failed miserably. I had to take on the label of a sick and paranoid woman as I used my podcast as both a decoy and an outlet while I planned a new way to leave. I never expected people in the city I live in to hear my personal medical history or my podcast before they met me. I never expected my friend and a woman I considered a mother-figure to work behind my back with my abuser. But when you share your vulnerable self with the world around you, you lose control over what happens to you. Some people can't accept difficult truths so they call you sick and they call you a liar because they don't want to believe that what has happened could actually happen to a person; or worse, that they participated in it and they were on the wrong side. I lost almost everything through this experience, but life must go on and I still need to make a life worth living. I will share the experience of rebuilding my life so that those who find themselves in similar situations can have hope.

I ask you to listen to this episode without someone else's words clouding your perception of me. Sometimes your best friend turns out to be your worst enemy.