Divorce Source Radio

Divorce is a stressful and unsettling situation. At minimum, a major relationship is ending, all sorts of your normal routines are upset, and along with the stress of transition are the legal hoops we have to jump through before things can be resolved. There are also volatile emotions that are frequently associated with divorce. Add all of these this together - and you have a difficult situation to deal with.

In today's program we feature issues that women face during a divorce and our guest is Dennis Zamplas, founder of The Law Firm of Victoria, dedicated to representing women only in divorce and other family law matters.

Topics in the program include:

• Do men have an advantage over women in divorce
• Does it matter who files for divorce first?
• Can the wife move out of the house with her kids before the divorce is final?
• Is it possible to have the husband ordered out of the home?
• If the husband has existing debt, will that debt be shared with the wife after divorce
• Child custody and parenting time
• Spousal and child Support
• What to do if your husband has had an affair
• And much more

(Listener Note: This is Step #9 of this 12 step series. To take full advantage of this please visit our show archive and listen to the episodes in their proper order).

It is normal to feel hurt, anger, blame and resentment while going through divorce. It is a devastating and traumatic transition, one that we all resist and that no one escapes without experiencing these painful feelings at some point in the process. Karen McMahon and Karen Basmagy discuss the pitfalls of living in resistance and the benefits of learning to accept what is.

When we feel stuck and overwhelmed, it is a red flag that we are resisting what is happening to our lives.

It sounds something like, "This isn't happening!", "I can't believe s/he is doing this!", "It wasn't supposed to be this way!", "This is all my/his/her fault". When we are in resistance, we remain stuck in blame and disbelief and unable to move forward. We unable to see our part in our dissolving marriage and unwilling to consider the possibility in life after divorce. Resistance adds more stress and tension into an already difficult situation.

The key to stepping into the possibility that your future holds is to learn to accept: accept the choices you made, accept the way your spouse behaves, accept that you marriage is dissolving and the divorce is happening.

By resisting, nothing changes except that it is harder and more stressful. By accepting, we begin to move through the hard time. Acceptance opens up choices and we can see more possibility with each decision we make. Acceptance enables us to channel our energy into what we do have control over. Listen in and follow the suggested action steps to help you move through your divorce.

Grab your FREE 12 Step Flash Guide at www.divorcerecoverylifeline.com

For more information on Journey Beyond Divorce visit: www.Jbddivorcesupport.com.

Is it possible to remain happy as you face one of the most challenging times in your life?

Our guest, Susan Pease Gadoua is the founder and Executive Director of the Transition Institute of Marin, specializing in meeting the needs of separating and divorcing men and women. We explore the importance of understanding your own needs, how to find your happiness, and the meaning of loving yourself. It's an enlightening and engaging conversation, tune in to learn how to find the power of happiness.

Topics in this program include:

• The meaning of happiness
• What it means to love yourself, to be open to loving and healthy relationships
• Preparing yourself emotionally for a great relationship
• Why people get stuck in relationship traps – and being with the same personality type
• Avoiding the relationship trap mistakes and downfalls
• The risk of a rebound relationship

Tug of War

A Judge's Verdict on Separation, Custody Battles, and the Bitter Realities of Family Court

There are many myths and misconceptions about what goes on in a Court Room. When it comes to justice, all too often couples are disappointed by the outcome – and end up with large legal bills, family drama which causes an all out war, and a resolution that leaves couples disillusioned. Our guest, Justice Harvey Brownstone, a sitting court judge, best-selling author, and host of Family Matters TV (http://www.familymatterstv.com/); helps us understand what really goes on inside the court room, and a judge's mind. Justice Brownstone has been called a maverick judge who is a pioneer that is unilaterally changing the public image of the judiciary. This honest and thought provoking interview will change the way you think about litigation, and how you work through the divorce process. We are fortunate to have Justice Brownstone share his thoughts and enlighten listeners as to what really goes on in Court, and what really matters.

Topics in this program include:

· The impact of litigation on the family

· What is really in your children's best interest

· The importance of a legal consultation

· A frank discussion about divorce, relationships and so much more

Toni and Steve are back together after a 5-year break. Unfortunately, Steve has a cold, but that doesn't stop the duo from getting their new show off the ground.

More great shows to follow.

(Listener Note: This is Step #8 of this 12 step series. To take full advantage of this please visit our show archive and listen to the episodes in their proper order).

Divorce is a time of upheaval and chaos. Life as you've known it is changing daily in ways small and large. You are responsible for many to do's to manage the change. Exactly where all this change is leading is unknowable yet your mind is in overload attempting to predict your future or figure out the past. In Step 8 we discuss the importance of leading your head to where your feet are or, bringing yourself to and staying present in the moment.

It is an ingrained habit of mind to time travel to attempt to figure out the unknowable. When we get lost in reflections of the past or fears projected onto our futures we waste the present by disabling our ability to be effective in the one place that is real and where we have power, right here and right now.

Staying present in the moment eliminates the feelings of powerlessness that so many individuals experience during divorce. Easily accessible tools and effective practices are available to bring you back to, and keep you in present moment awareness. In this present moment that you are powerful to choose and take considered and strategic actions to navigate wisely and well through your divorce as well as the rest of your life.

Understand how you are intensifying that pain, how to begin minimizing it, and how to use present moment awareness to make your journey through divorce and beyond as easy and pleasurable as possible.

Grab your FREE 12 Step Flash Guide at www.divorcerecoverylifeline.com

For more information Journey Beyond Divorce visit: www.jbddivorcesupport.com.

Positive. Life-enhancing. Enlightening. Compassionate. These words are seldom associated with divorce. Words that typically come to mind are: Painful. Agonizing. Resentful. Bitter. Our guest, domestic relations judge and best-selling author Judge Michele Lowrance enlightens listeners how people can attain a positive outlook, achieve forgiveness, and move on with a mended soul (http://thegoodkarmadivorce.com/). Judge Lowrance has learned that there's a better way to handle divorce. So she came up with a plan to turn the negatives of divorce into positives. She explains the program in her book, The Good Karma Divorce: Avoid Litigation, Turn Negative Emotions into Positive Actions, and Get On with the Rest of Your Life.

Topics in this program include:

• On court: An understanding what the court system can and cannot do – it can't rescue you, but perhaps it can encourage forgiveness.
• On children: Ordinary parenting is not enough; parents need to adopt wisdom building skills for heroic parenting. Justice Lowrance asks: "What is more important for you to be right, or for your children to be happy?"
• On forgiveness: In the beginning, you won't be ready to forgive. At this stage it is fine to let your emotions steep and give them room to breathe. Treat them like a flu that has to run its course. There is a necessary gestation period between anger and forgiveness.
• Creating your soul searching party: developing your Personal Manifesto
• The crucial things you have to know about having the "divorce conversation" with your soon to be former partner.

We are discussing the tender topic of discovering infidelity today and with us is C.J. Grace, author of "The Adulterer's Wife: How to thrive whether you stay or not." During today's show we'll support you to look at three aspects of confronting infidelity so you will understand how to give yourself the space to get clear before taking action about staying, leaving, or kicking your spouse out. We will also share tools to help you heal from the hurt and design your path forward so that regardless of your eventual choice, you'll emerge more confident and clear in yourself and capable of creating a future of your design

C.J. shares a few of the gems in her book which is a perfect resource to "tease apart the emotional knots you're experiencing, step back to view your situation with some distance, and understand the what and why of your options - she provides all with the perfect amount of irreverent humor and wisdom."

For more information on Karen McMahon and Journey Beyond Divorce visit: www.JourneyBeyondDivorce.com

Today, many couples choose to live together without being married and have a child together. The question becomes, what happens if you split up? Will you have to pay spousal and child support as if you were a married couple?

Attorney, Henry Gornbein helps sort through the legal questions in what used to be referred to as a "common law" marriage and guide you through the process.

For more information on Henry, visit: https://www.lippittokeefe.com

For more information on Henry's Gracefully Greying TV show, visit: https://www.nrmstreamcast.com/lifestyles-page/gracefully-greying/

For comments and questions, feel free to write Divorce Source Radio at: [email protected].

(Listener Note: This is Step #7 of this 12 step series. To take full advantage of this please visit our show archive and listen to the episodes in their proper order).

Everyone divorcing has a particular version or story of what happened to their marriage and why. This story is usually from a singular personal perspective, yours. Your spouse has another story, also singular and personal. Unless your spouse is truly delusional, both stories have a basis in truth yet neither encompasses a whole truth.

In Step 7 Karen and Lisa explore the concept of "story" as differentiated from "what actually happened". They provide practices and skills that allow you to become aware of your story as only one of a number of versions so you can begin to own your part in the unfolding and unraveling of your marriage with compassion and understanding.

As you begin to question your story and look at other ways of interpreting the personalities and events involved, there is a freedom to recognize your role in what happened. By stepping out of your story and beginning to own your role you open up the possibility of learning and growing through understanding rather than being frozen in place by judgement.

Explore ways to detach from your story, free yourself from being a victim of circumstances, recognize and change behaviors that have not been working for you, find acceptance and forgiveness for both yourself and your imperfect companion, and enjoy a broader range of choices and options that lay hidden behind your story. Simply, you will meet the perspectives and tools that will allow you to grow and heal through your pain.

Grab your FREE 12 Step Flash Guide at www.divorcerecoverylifeline.com

For more information on Journey Beyond Divorce visit: www.jbddivorcesupport.com.