Divorce with Carolyn

What if your divorce came without any shame at all? Not less shame – no shame? For most women, that question feels almost impossible to answer. In this episode, Carolyn explores the deep cultural, historical and personal roots of divorce shame, what the research says about how women's lives improve after separation, and four grounded ways to start loosening shame's grip. Plus a simple journalling exercise you can try tonight. Warm, honest, and evidence-backed.

Key takeaways

• Shame doesn't start at divorce – it activates something already present from cultural and personal conditioning.
• Women internalise relationship breakdowns far more than men, and research confirms this has measurable effects on mental health and self-esteem.
• A 20-year Kingston University study found women report significant increases in contentment and life satisfaction for up to five years after divorce.
• 100% of Women's Divorce Academy members surveyed (separated 12+ months) said they were happier after divorce.
• Shame can't survive being spoken aloud to one safe person — connection is the antidote.
• Patterns in your relationship history are not proof that something is intrinsically wrong with you. They reflect what you learned and believed you deserved — and that can change.
• A simple journalling exercise can help you examine and dismantle shame gently over time.

Resources mentioned

• Books
  • The Wife Drought — Annabel Crabb 
  • Daring Greatly — Brené Brown 
  • Self Help — Gabby Bernstein 
• Research
  • BMC Psychology — Self-Stigma and Mental Health in Divorced Single-Parent Women 
  • Kingston University 20-year study — ScienceDaily report
• Meditation
  • Insight Timer — free app
  • Sarah Blondin on Insight Timer
  • Tara Brach on Insight Timer
• Mental health support (Australia)
  • Mental health treatment plan — Healthdirect

Send Carolyn a text

READY FOR MORE SUPPORT?

Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.

Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com

CONNECT WITH US:

Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy 

Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

When Gill's husband suddenly ended their 16-year marriage, she was blindsided. She thought they had a strong relationship - something they could work on together. Instead, the decision was made without her, and she was left reeling.

In the early days, Gill couldn't sleep. She was spiralling with catastrophic thoughts about her future and her children's wellbeing. She felt ashamed, broken, and terrified about what came next.

But with the support of friends, family, therapy, and a lot of hard work, Gill not only survived - she thrived. Eight years later, she's remarried, has a beautiful relationship with her teenage boys, and genuinely believes her divorce was the best thing that could have happened to her.

In this episode, we cover:

• What it's like when separation comes as a complete shock
• The shame and judgment Gill faced (especially at her children's Catholic school)
• How she built her parenting confidence as a single mum
• Why therapy and understanding how your brain works was a game-changer
• Meeting someone new on Tinder - and why she waited six years before moving in together
• The importance of evolving together in relationships
• What she'd tell herself in that first devastating week

Key takeaways:

• Your feelings are valid - all of them, including anger
• The only way through is through (as infuriating as that sounds)
• You don't have to follow anyone else's timeline for healing or dating
• Communication and staying true to yourself are essential in any relationship
• Recovery takes time, but it is absolutely possible

If you're going through separation right now and struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel, Gill's story will remind you that you can not only survive this - you can build something even better on the other side.

Resources mentioned:

• Women's Divorce Academy coaching and community
• Tara Brach's RAIN technique
• Mental health care plans through your GP (Australia only)

Send Carolyn a text

READY FOR MORE SUPPORT?

Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.

Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com

CONNECT WITH US:

Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy 

Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

Separation changes many things. Money is usually one of the biggest.

For many women, money is the part of divorce that feels the most frightening.

In this episode, Carolyn Tate is joined by money coach Naomi Holmes (Her Money Matters) to talk about divorce finances, budgeting after separation, and rebuilding financial confidence when everything feels uncertain.

If you’re newly separated and worried about money — unsure what’s coming in, what’s going out, or how you’ll manage on one income — this conversation offers practical, steady guidance.

We cover:

• Why women are often left out of financial decisions during marriage
 • The avoidance spiral (yes, the unopened envelopes)
 • The first two numbers to focus on after separation
 • Simple budgeting tools for life after divorce
 • Talking to your bank and negotiating payment plans
 • Building an emergency fund on a single income
 • Superannuation in divorce settlements — and why it matters long term

Naomi shares her practical “bucket system” for managing cash flow, how to move from fear to clarity, and why understanding your money gives you back a sense of control.

This is a grounded conversation about money after divorce — clear, realistic and free of shame.

If divorce has shaken your financial footing, this episode will help you take the next small step with more confidence.

Links and Resources

Her Money Matters — Naomi Holmes
 https://hermonymatters.com.au

MoneySmart Budgeting Tool (Australian Government)
 https://moneysmart.gov.au

Women’s Divorce Academy
 https://womensdivorceacademy.com

Send Carolyn a text

READY FOR MORE SUPPORT?

Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.

Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com

CONNECT WITH US:

Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy 

Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!

Divorce is hard. There's no sugar-coating that. But what if moving through it – really moving through it – could lead you to a life that's better than anything you left behind?

In this first episode of Divorce With Carolyn, I share my own story: the quiet New Year's Eve moment that made everything clear, and the five phases that took me from broke, scared, and overwhelmed to a life I genuinely love.

Whether you're just starting to think about leaving, deep in the paperwork, or trying to find your feet on the other side – this episode will help you work out exactly where you are and what you need right now.

The five phases of divorce:

• The moment you know
• The business of divorce
• Getting your footing
• Getting back to you
• Building something better

Ready for real support, practical tools, and a community of women who genuinely get it? Join us at womensdivorceacademy.com.

Send Carolyn a text

READY FOR MORE SUPPORT?

Women's Divorce Academy offers expert divorce support and a friendly community of women who understand exactly what you're going through.

Learn more about our membership and divorce support: womensdivorceacademy.com

CONNECT WITH US:

Instagram: @womensdivorceacademy 

Facebook: Women's Divorce Academy

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped you, subscribe to Divorce With Carolyn and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show. Thank you!