Well, half a cheesecake. The owner of 808 Bar and Kitchen in Sunderland, England showed up for work Sunday morning and found the guy fast asleep in the bathroom. Next to him was a mop bucket filled with stolen booze bottles and the half of a cheesecake the thief couldn't finish before falling asleep.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

New fad diet or weird scavenger hunt? An Oregon man was busted by the owners of the home he broke into. They got a picture of him, but he split and they called the cops. They found him with a stolen backpack, a gallon of milk, and a can of beets.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Guess he forgot to gas up before taking a few items from a Home Depot in California. This guy took off in his car and lead police on a little chase that lasted a couple of hours. Somewhere along the line he ran low on gas and pulled into a station for a refueling. Even THEN cops weren't able to catch him.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A woman in Florida was arrested for trespassing after refusing to leave a gas station. When police repeatedly asked for her name, her reply was always "My Butt Just Farted." Turns out it was NOT her real name.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, the adorable story of the crappy candy. This mom called herself out after realizing the Skittles she was giving her two young children as treats were actually Zombie Skittles. If you're not familiar, Zombie Skittles are a Halloween treat and each bag contains a nasty-flavored surprise. That's one way to wean your kids off sugar.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

At least he's consistent. 30-year-old Joshua Logue from Columbus, OH was identified as the guy who robbed a Pennsylvania Taco Bell. Cops found out he was already in jail for robbing a different Taco Bell. In fact, Josh has broken in to at least THIRTY Taco Bells in 5 different states. Josh needs to expand his menu. Sorry in advance for the puns you're about to hear.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

After rear-ending a $207,000 Lamborghini with his $470,000 Rolls Royce, the driver fled the scene. Police are fairly confident they'll eventually find him because he left a picture of himself in the car.   

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Two teachers at Jesse Bethel High School In Vallejo, CA have been placed on leave after talking smack about the kids in their virtual class. I wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that one teacher called her students "technically illiterate." Yes, this from a teacher who didn't think to log out before degrading students who were still online.  

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Two young men were going door-to-door in Covina, CA with the story that they were raising money for the Covina High School Football team. They were probably doing pretty well for themselves until they picked the wrong house. The man who answered the door didn't believe their story. He had pretty good reason not to, he's a teacher AND football coach at Covina High School. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There are some layers to this one. A Hong Kong antique collector was recently the victim of a robbery. The burglars got away with a scroll of calligraphy hand-written by the former head of China, Mao Zedong...Chairman Mao. The guy who bought it got a great deal too, just $60. Not bad considering the scroll's estimated value is around $300 MILLION dollars. When the scroll wouldn't fit on the wall where he wanted to hang it, he cut in half. That's called depreciation. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.