Let this be a lesson to any would-be thieves. Just because you see a duffel bag sitting in a car doesn't mean that whatever's inside is something you want. Sure, it could be cash, it could be jewelry, or it just might to turn out to be a lizard and FOUR pythons. You get what you get.

Heath Bumpous was a man on a mission. His wedding was scheduled for Saturday, so on Friday morning he robbed a bank to pay for the venue and his fiances ring. THAT was just the beginning.

The surveillance video was posted to Facebook. That's where Heath's betrothed saw it, called him, and convinced him to turn himself in.

Long story short, Heath did NOT get married on Saturday.

Laurel, Kentucky: In the wee hours of the morning a homeowner found a stranger in his kitchen making mayo sandwiches. That's it, just mayo and bread. When the burglar left, the police realize he left his wallet and ID behind. Shouldn't be too tough to find the condiment culprit.

When his car got towed from in front of his girlfriend's place, THIS guy thought it would be a good idea to call the cops and report the car stolen. Ya see, he didn't want his wife to find out about his girlfriend. The police got suspicious when they found out the car was towed BEFORE the "victim" called in the carjacking. We're pretty sure the wife is going to find out now.

A man in Florida called 9-1-1 for help after locking his keys in his car. He must have been in a hurry because he called 3 times in 5 minutes. The dispatcher explained that his situation was a "non-emergency" and he would have to call someone else for help. When a deputy DID arrive on the scene it turned out the car didn't even belong to the caller.

Long story short . . .

Deputy explains they only open vehicles for registered owners.

Deputy also tells the man not to call 9-1-1 again.

Man waits 20 minutes . . . THEN calls 9-1-1 again anyway.

Deputy returns to the scene and arrests caller.

A man in Wisconsin went to court after his 4th drunk driving offense. He was arguing that he was on his riding lawnmower at the time, which shouldn't carry the same penalty as driving a vehicle while snockered. The court disagreed.

Police spent over 2 hours searching for a man hiding in a California Corn Maze. Imagine their surprise when they couldn't find him.

He was actually trying to do the right thing. Billy Bob thought he had violated his parole so he turned himself in . . . after drinking 7 Buds to work up some courage. Problem #1 was that the police weren't looking for him because he didn't have any parole violations. Problem #2 was that they got him for public intoxication, which IS a parole violation. Can't win for losin' Billy Bob.

A man in Houston forged his wife's signature on their divorce papers, thinking he'd be sneaky. THEN he shows up to his court date with another woman that he just married. I'm no lawyer but that sounds like bigamy, also illegal in Texas.

Police in the UK got a little miffed when the same guy called the Emergency phone line 23 times in one day and did nothing other than burp in their ear. They found him, he was arrested.