You would think a guy with a $1 Million Dollar bill could afford to buy a NEW  iPhone, not this guy. A woman in Scranton, PA was handed a wad of bills in exchange for her used phone. The bundle included two $1 bills, a $10 bill, and for some reason a fake $1 Million Dollar Bill. Not counterfeit, just fake since there isn't a real $1 Million Dollar Bill to counterfeit.

Two men in Florida (where else?) catch an alligator with their bare hands and decide it would be funny to feed it some beer. While they're at it, one of the guys also decides it would be funny to tempt the gator to bite his arm . . . WHICH IT DID! Thankfully they got it all on video so, ya know, evidence.

A woman in Lincoln, CA ran out of gas and walked 6 blocks to the nearest Chevron. She must have been tired because she thought it would be a good idea to ask a police officer to give her a ride back to her car. She didn't know he would run the plates and find out she had stolen the car the day before. She knows now.

Matthew Bushman from Mansfield, Ohio was wanted by police. Once the arrest warrant was issued, the police went looking for Matthew and found someone fitting his description. Whey asked if his name was Matthew he said "no" and gave them a fake name. The only problem is that Matthew has his own name tattooed on his neck. Yep, he's in jail.

Jason San Miguel of Wharton, TX was wanted on burglary charges. When the police called and advised Jason to turn himself in, he took the "Elementary School Playground" route and said "There is NO WAY you'll ever find me." Jason picked a bad hiding spot, his own house. He's probably still trying to figure out how they found him so fast.

Holly M. Barker from the University of Washington in Seattle thinks SpongeBob SquarePants is a 'violent,' 'racist' colonizer. She has written an entire article to point her finger at the evil cartoon character we know and love. What class does she teach? Don't know, don't care.

It happened again, this time in Florida. Oh wait, it happened the LAST time in Florida too. Well, then here we go again. A man called 9-1-1 to report that his roommate has stolen his stash...about $20 worth of weed. 

A) Technically that's not an emergency

B) Why? Why would you do that?

Not sure how this one snuck through. Pittsburgh Public Schools say they're investigating an ‘Inappropriate Homework Assignment’ given to first graders. You be the judge. Warning: It's weird.

It happened in Paducah, Kentucky. 26-year-old Corey Phillips tried to rob a Country Inn & Suites but things took a turn real quick when he put his gun on the counter. The front desk clerk wasted no time picking it up to defend herself. She should get a big ol' raise. Take a look at the video . . .

Two ladies in Camden, New Jersey tried to scam their way to winning at Church Bingo. One would think the Church would be forgiving, one would be wrong.