Michael Gordon likes a clever T-shirt and he was happy to be released from prison. Sadly, that combination made him easy to spot when witnesses watched him enter a car they knew wasn't his.  

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All he wanted was the Waffle House logo tattooed on his calf. He should've waited until he was sober...and had the money to pay for it.

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It's one thing to quit your job unexpectedly, it's another when you do it in the middle of your shift while doing something kind of important. 

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A 35-year old man finally went to the ER after suffering 5 months of terrible headaches. Despite seeing a doctor 5 months earlier, it wasn't until his latest visit doctors finally discovered the problem; chopsticks shoved into his head via the nostrils. I hate when that happens.

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Jack Blakeslee admitted to doing something nasty on a regular basis. He poops in empty Pringles cans and throws them out his car window. He got busted when security cameras caught him "discarding" one-such can at Haven of Hope, a crime advocacy center in Ohio.

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Cops didn't buy the "it's not mine" defense when a man in Vero Beach, FL was caught with a tube of meth in his underwear. First he said it wasn't his, so it got awkward when he admitted he knew what was in the tube.

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First, Jose Silverio stopped at a QuikTrip in Tulsa, smashed their cooler doors with a pipe, and stole some beer. THEN he drove through the front of a grocery store where he cracked open one of those cold ones and visited with store employees. It would appear someone can check "get arrested" off their bucket list. 

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47-year-old Jason Pinch was pounding on cars and yelling at drivers when cops found him, tased him, and arrested him. His ex girlfriend had called police to report he'd "gone nuts on mushrooms." There's still no clear answer as to why he was wearing a chicken costume.

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He snuck under (yes, under) a semi's double trailer where they keep the metal racks. He finally made it home, just later than, and almost 500 miles more than, expected.

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3 men in St. Louis were trespassing in an old jail when they accidentally locked themselves in a cell and had to call 911 for help. Mwah Ha Ha!

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