Have you ever found yourself focusing on your spouse’s defects? Doug discusses the dog biscuit theory of marriage and shares how to drive out the negativity in a relationship by focusing on what positive behaviors your spouse possesses.

 

Listener questions and comments:

• Janet - I have a 30-year-old son who is trying to marry. He had a problem with alcohol and he met somebody who works at a bar and this girl is posting revealing photos on her Instagram. What should I do? (38:27)
• Julie - You are totally right about forgiveness. I was cheated on and found videos of it. I went to counseling thinking I was the problem only to find out it was him. It was only after talking with God that I was able to forgive my ex-husband for what he had done. (42:04)

 

Steps to turning from the negative to the positive

1. Catch the negative thought
2. Make a different choice
3. Rewrite the story
4. Reward yourself

3 steps to putting the Dog Biscuit Theory into practice

1. Beware of fault finding and criticism
2. Look for what’s right
3. Reward that behavior
4. Repeat

Action steps

1. Share appreciations
2. Say please and thank you
3. Make small gestures
4. Cultivate moments of kindness
5. Rewrite the story
6. Be kind