You lose your temper in private, it’s one thing. In front of strangers -- or worse, colleagues? Then what? There is a way to redeem yourself, and we’ll tell you what that is in this edition of Doing What Works. We’ll also give you some suggestions for keeping the not-so-nice side of yourself at bay.

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The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People [https://www.amazon.com/Habits-Highly-Effective-People/dp/0671708635] and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens [https://www.amazon.com/Habits-Highly-Effective-Teens/dp/1476764662] are billed as maps that will take you from the person you are to the person you want to be.

Helen Gurley Brown [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helen_Gurley_Brown] edited Cosmopolitan.

Picture this. You visit Katie in her apartment, and she ducks out for a quick errand. Now what? Well, as a friend recently reported: “You don’t pull out your phone. There’s too much to look at.” Katie filled the space with what she loves, and accidentally demonstrated a principle of sound design -- it works really well when you don’t notice it. We hope you like how we designed this edition of Doing What Works!

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Why Design Matters [https://www.amazon.com/Why-Design-Matters-Conversations-Creative/dp/0062872966], by Debbie Millman, features interviews with “the world’s most creative people.”

Cooper Hewitt, Smithsonian Design Museum [https://www.cooperhewitt.org/]. A visit there sparked Katie’s new passion.

The Senses: Design Beyond Vision [https://www.amazon.com/Senses-Design-Beyond-Vision/dp/1616897104], by Ellen Lupton, reminded Katie how important scent is for creating a mood and atmosphere and evoking memories.

Put Your Ass Where Your Heart Wants to Be [https://www.amazon.com/Put-Your-Where-Heart-Wants/dp/B0B553D3FP/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1656958085&sr=8-1] is a new book by Steven Pressfield.

Occam’s razor [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occam's_razor] suggests that all other things being equal, the simplest explanation is likely the best one.

In our final installment inspired by Katie’s time at leadership camp this summer, we make the case for writing a mission statement. What could be more important, after all, than living with intention? And what could be more in line with the mission of Doing What Works?

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The work you’re meant to do was probably borne of an ache in childhood. That’s from Barbara Sher [http://barbarasher.com/index.htm]. I think! My friend Elizabeth Fournier [https://www.thegreenreaper.org/], for example, felt destined to work in the funeral industry after her mother died when Elizabeth was young.

The Desiderata [https://duckduckgo.com/?q=the+desiderata&t=brave&iax=images&ia=images] sums up Maureen’s philosophy of life.

“When you care enough to send the very best.” Why not use that slogan [https://corporate.hallmark.com/about/hallmark-cards-company/history/building-brand-1930s-50s/] as inspiration for sending your best out into the world?

Accept yourself, and expect more from yourself [https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/gretchen_rubin_619327].

Your mission in life doesn’t have to be lofty, says Callings author Gregg Levoy [https://gregglevoy.com/]. Don’t let it spook you.

Steve Jobs said you can only connect the dots looking backward [https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/463176-you-can-t-connect-the-dots-looking-forward-you-can-only].

Waking [https://www.amazon.com/Waking-Memoir-Transcendence-Matthew-Sanford/dp/159486845X] author Matt Sanford says one task of adulthood is coming to terms with how deeply repetitive it is.

Think you’re doing someone a favor by sucking it up when you’d rather have it out? Have you ever asked the recipient of your (1) simmering hostility, and/or (2) venom when you finally blow? In this edition of Doing What Works we hope to inspire the difficult conversations before they become nearly impossible.

No show notes this time!

When Katie was little she used to complain about going on long walks, even if that long walk was through a festive shopping mall to trick-or-treat. Darrell and I hardly recognize her now, considering her idea of fun is a long bike ride. I mean, really long. All the way from Brooklyn to Albany and back! That’s 450 miles round trip. You don’t need an interest in biking (or walking) to find this edition of Doing What Works entertaining, and we hope you enjoy the ride as much as we did.

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The Empire State Trail [https://empiretrail.ny.gov/map#hudson-valley-greenway-trail] is the route Katie took from Brooklyn to Albany.

How do you feel when people get good news? Are you happy for them, or do you wonder why it wasn’t you? In this edition of Doing What Works we encourage you to remember it’s your own race. If you knew more about the people you’re jealous of, you might not be!

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“I was too young to know how to love her.” Would you like to hear more about the rose in The Little Prince? [https://www.sparknotes.com/lit/littleprince/character/the-rose/]

Sideways Stories from Wayside School [https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15779.Sideways_Stories_from_Wayside_School] is a children’s book Katie could not recommend more highly.

If you can label an emotion you can get a little distance from it. Instead of thinking of fear as inherently bad, for example, you can use it as a reminder of how much you care. In this edition of Doing What Works we’ll help you recognize how much discomfort is a sign you’re doing the right thing.

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Are you too stressed to be productive? Or not stressed enough? [https://hbr.org/2016/04/are-you-too-stressed-to-be-productive-or-not-stressed-enough]

Elizabeth Gilbert [https://www.instagram.com/elizabeth_gilbert_writer/] says fear will always be along for the ride -- but suggests you make sure it’s a passenger and not the driver.

Writing the first line for Staying the Course: A Runner’s Toughest Race [https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/081663758X/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i1] changed how Maureen feels about fear.

To achieve great things, two things are needed -- a plan, and not quite enough time [https://twitter.com/chrisguillebeau/status/689961989523804161].

Insignificant revenge is not only a thing but it’s delicious! Never gave much thought to it until Katie mentioned it on this edition of Doing What Works. What’s petty and what isn’t? We’ll inspire you to go easier on yourself if you need something that seems petty but really does help you function.

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Stupid is as stupid does [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109830/quotes/?ref_=tt_trv_qu].

Of course your family can push your buttons. They installed them! I first heard that from Elizabeth Gilbert [https://www.instagram.com/elizabeth_gilbert_writer/].

Quick. Don’t overthink it. What’s your core value? You only get to choose one. Well, choose five or ten or twenty at first if you want. But then narrow the list down until you have the one. Why? Because knowing what drives you will help you make sense to yourself, and make every other decision so much easier. Don’t believe us? Give this edition of Doing What Works a listen and you’ll see (I mean hear!) what we mean.

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You bring your own weather to the picnic [https://gretchenrubin.com/2012/01/happiness-interview-harlan-coben-i-got-to-know-harlan-coben-through-the-internet-1-whats-a-simple-activity-that/].

The most important metric to track is personal energy [https://www.huffpost.com/entry/did-you-know-goals-are-fo_b_7719012].

Everything is energy [https://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/05/16/everything-energy/].

Living a meaningful life, by definition, means you’re going to give some things up [https://www.amazon.com/Excellent-Sheep-Miseducation-American-Meaningful/dp/1494502909].

Rejection is part of life, so why not have a little fun with it? If you’re a writer, make a game out of collecting rejections (because at least you’re pitching your work). If you’re looking for that special someone, see how many dates you can cram into a week (because worst case, you’ll probably make a few friends). If you’re looking for anything at all, try telling everyone you know (because that person might not know how to help, but might know someone who knows someone who could). In this edition of Doing What Works we maintain it’s less a numbers game, believe it or not, than an intention game.

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“Your Heart Is a Muscle” is a song by Carly Rae Jepsen [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRQDQQmBrTY].

“If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me.” That’s W. H. Auden [https://mailchi.mp/themarginalian/hope-love?e=7a805d5db9].