Doing What Works

You see how fast you can get to work, empty your inbox, make it to the meeting, get back from lunch, finish your work, get to the gym, get home, and meal prep so you can have…twenty more minutes than you would have otherwise, to sit on the couch before going to bed. If this sounds familiar, you’ll feel less alone for listening to this edition of Doing What Works.

Here are your show notes…

A wait of indeterminate length will feel longer than a finite wait.

Derek Sivers was once struck by how little he gained by going all out on his bike versus riding at a more relaxed pace.

Empathy isn’t walking in someone else’s shoes. It’s listening to people tell their stories, and it’s believing them even when you can’t relate. Human connection is a lot of work, as we talk about in this edition of Doing What Works, and that’s one reason it’s so meaningful.

Here are your show notes…

Tim Urban has a few thoughts on fatherhood.

Atlas of the Heart will help you understand the language of human experience.

Doing something narcissistic doesn’t make you a narcissist.

Something happens, then something else happens, and then still something else. That’s a series of events, but it isn’t a story. A story has stakes, motivation, gaps between what people expect and what they get. This edition of Doing What Works is a primer on story structure that just might help you live a better story.

Here are your show notes…

Story, by Robert McKee, is a book about screenwriting.

Steven Pressfield is famous for, among other things, inspiring writers.

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, by Donald Miller, is another book about story that Katie and I both love.

The creators of South Park once visited an NYU class to talk about story.

Darrell and I have date night every morning. We chat before the days descend on us, and in this edition of Doing What Works we explain why that beats the more traditional (and expectation-laden) alternative. Katie talks about what makes a great date in general, and encourages you to enjoy the life-changing magic of your own company.

Here are your show notes…

How to choose a life partner!

Are you feeding your soul enough variety? Are you taking regular breaks from your day job to get out in nature and let yourself be awestruck by that wonder? The ideal hobby will capitalize on skills you wouldn’t otherwise get a chance to use, and in this edition of Doing What Works we’ll inspire you to find it.

Here are your show notes…

Don’t be intimidated by the word “callings,” suggests the man who wrote the book.

Do you commit to the bit?

There’s a wonderful expression that goes something like, “We only touch but in spots.” Better to admit there are certain discussion topics best left off the table for now (and maybe forever) than to threaten the relationship by addressing them. Respecting that limitation is strangely freeing, and Katie and I are Exhibit A in this edition of Doing What Works.

Here are your show notes…

Terri Cole is an expert on boundaries.

The bystander effect keeps people from helping sometimes.

By following her interests, Katie accidentally built the perfect resume for her dream job.

Your time is finite, and so is the number of friendships you can maintain. So why go back into your past to rekindle a relationship? Because it might be worth the risk of it not going well, that’s why. We’ll help you assess that risk in this edition of Doing What Works.

Here are your show notes…

Once you open a can of worms, the only way to put them back is to use a larger can.

“To forget a friend is sad. Not everyone has had a friend.”

Not sure whether to get in touch with someone from your past? You have to be ready for it to not turn out well.

A banana peel is biodegradable, eventually. And it’s the “eventually” part that’s ripe for discussion in this edition of Doing What Works. Is that banana peel litter? Is the parent who walks away from a grocery cart with a kid inside putting that child’s life in danger? Should you honk or yell or otherwise berate a driver not paying enough attention to cyclists and pedestrians? We don’t have all (or really any) of the answers, but you might be inspired by the questions!

Here are your show notes…

If you want a copy of the advice column Katie brought up at the start of this show, let me know.

You might love Michael Schur’s How to Be Perfect as much as Katie did!

Remember that person who budged in line at the coffee shop? It’s not the kind of thing you’d write to an advice columnist about, granted. But I bet you regaled your sweetheart with quite the tale of indignation! Katie and I think waiting in line is a fascinating study in human behavior, and if you don’t agree you haven’t listened to this encore edition of Doing What Works. Maybe you could partake the next time you’re waiting in line.

Here are your show notes…

Our Minnesota is showing when we call it budging! So says How Not to Be Wrong author Jordan Ellenberg.

There’s a science to this.

Are you in heavy traffic that’s merging from two lanes to one? Do the zipper! And, yes. It’s a thing.

What kind of stories do you make up about the people who annoy you in line?

You’ll probably never look forward to chores, but you’ll look forward to them even less if you wait until you’re tired. We take a break from the standard fare in this edition of Doing What Works to share life hacks -- don’t you hate that phrase? -- that (you guessed it) work.

Here are your show notes…

Answering 911, by Caroline Burau, will get you thinking about how many words you have at your disposal as the day wears on.

If you haven’t tried compartmentalizing -- Katie’s a fan! -- you might find it as life-changing as she does.

Do you make it easy to do the right thing?