Doing What Works

Overeating. Apologizing for things that aren’t your fault. Offering advice when you haven’t been invited. Let’s say you break one of those bad habits. How do you make it stick? By thinking of yourself as a new person, that’s how. It’s a gradual process, and we have lots of examples in this edition of Doing What Works.

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Change turns people into someone they aren’t, and we aren’t organized for that.

Take great care with the stories you tell yourself about yourself.

If you’ve ever tried to give people compliments only to watch their eyes glaze over, maybe it’s because they’ve heard you say the same thing many times (worded the same way!). In this edition of Doing What Works Katie and I will inspire you to be specific, build in a delay, and enlist the credibility of others to make your point.

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The mind isn’t so much concerned with the details of a plan as that there is one.

When Katie was little we sometimes called her a marmot. As in, “Why even have a marmot if you aren’t going to play with her?” Now that she’s grown up and my co-host, we’re still playing around -- mostly in conversation. Listen to this edition of Doing What Works to find out why we still talk several hours a week and never get bored.

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Shrinking [https://www.imdb.com/title/tt15677150/] is on Apple TV+.

Nothing whisks Darrell back to his childhood on a turkey farm faster than the memory of two thousand turkeys in one building, gobbling. As a child, Katie was so terrified by the sounder for the THX audio system at the beginning of A Bug’s Life she’s amazed she watched that movie as many times as she did. Maureen wonders if there’s anything sweeter than the March Madness sounder, which marks not only the beginning of spring but the relentless “it’s anybody’s game” excitement of that college basketball tournament. We’ll get you thinking about the soundtrack of your life in this edition of Doing What Works.

No show notes this time!

Katie and I bet you remember something someone once told you in anger, and if you’re anything like us that shaped the person you became. In this edition of Doing What Works we not only help you unspool some of the reasons you’re wound so tight, but give you things to tell yourself instead.

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Age is not a competitive issue.

If you aren’t having fun you aren’t doing it right.

If you trust the source you don’t need the argument.

Your essence is on display as you wait in line for self-checkouts at a grocery store. Ever notice that? The stakes could not be lower, as Katie says, yet the drama can be high. In this edition of Doing What Works I let you see me being petty -- and a good kid -- at once.

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“Multiple Server, Single Phase” is a queueing theory.

The (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty is a book of loopholes!

How to Be Perfect is another book of loopholes!

Why is it so easy to know when a friend should bail out of a relationship but so difficult to know when you should? What’s the best way to break a habit? How do you increase the odds you’ll reach a goal? And is the goal really the goal? Lots to think about in this edition of Doing What Works!

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You can learn all about Resistance by following Steven Pressfield.

Change turns us into someone we don’t know, and we’re not organized for that.

“Systems are better than goals.” When you’re dieting, for example!

“This might not work” is one signpost of something worth doing.

What does a can of WD-40 have in common with a weighted blanket and an umbrella hat? Much bang for not much buck, that’s what. And in this edition of Doing What Works we’ll inspire a few additions to your shopping list. Especially if you’re a cyclist!

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Tim Ferriss is fond of asking people what purchase less than $100 has given them an outsized amount of joy.

Some people don’t know when to quit, and I’m one of them. As opposed to Katie, who rarely succumbs to the sunk cost fallacy. When does persistence become stupidity? It’s something we help you wrestle with in this edition of Doing What Works.

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Are you in the market for an exceptional tennis camp? Here you go!

“Two movies on one screen” is from Scott Adams.

The Rookie is a family favorite.

Do you feel like the bullies are winning too many rounds? Motivational speaker Tim Sanders says it’s the middle of the movie.

“Boy, when you pick a lost cause, you really commit” is from Robots.

Changing careers is difficult in part because, as a beginner, you’re going to make mistakes. So says career coach Martin Yate.

“We are unaware of what sweet miracles may come.”

“There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.”'

“When was the last time you woke up and realized that today could be the best day of your life?”

“Exposure teaches.”

If you compare yourself with others you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. That line from the Desiderata pretty much says it all, doesn’t it? But envy’s like any other emotion; it isn’t good or bad. In this edition of Doing What Works we help you use envy as fuel to get more of what you want.

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Want to hear what Charlie Munger said about envy?

“Think of the brain as a hill covered in snow, and thoughts as sleds gliding down that hill. As one sled after another goes down the hill a small number of main trails will appear in the snow. And every time a new sled goes down, it will be drawn into preexisting trails, almost like a magnet. In time it becomes more and more difficult to glide down the hill on any other path or in a different direction. Think of psychedelics as temporarily flattening the snow. The deeply worn trails disappear, and suddenly the sled can go in other directions, exploring new landscapes and, literally, creating new pathways.”

How to Be Perfect is billed as “the correct answer to every moral question.”

Do you think everything would be okay if only, say, you won the lottery? Not according to a concept called hedonic adaptation.

Change something or change your attitude about it, but don’t complain.

Aspire to happiness that’s indestructible, that isn’t dependent on the happiness of people in your orbit -- the way Alex Lickerman describes in The Undefeated Mind.

“If you compare yourself with others you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.”

“Isolation is the dream killer.” That’s from Barbara Sher.